New to HT, moral dilemma

[Cheekan1724]

Hi SJSJ,

We sound so much alike! I too have two boys (3.5 and 6mos) and am going to do IVF in December for a girl. I was going through the same thought process a few months ago. You are not taking someone else's spot in the IVF line. You're not keeping the service for yourself - there's room for everyone! There is nothing wrong with using technology and any or all legal means to make your life what you want. If "the universe" didn't want you to have a daughter, "the universe" would not have invented the means to make it so you could.

I have three quotes that I've collected and made my mantras during this process. The first one is what tipped the scale for me and made me decide to go for it.

"We only make this trip once, and we really should make it count." - Nancy Reagan (It's one of those cards/magnets from gift shops, who knows if she really said it!)
"I like it when things happen. And if they don't happen, I like to make them happen." - Winston Churchill
"Nothing ever comes to one that is worth having except as a result of hard work." - Booker T Washington (This is for when I have to give myself all the injections.)

Also, when I went in for my IVF consult, I was shocked at how I did not have to justify my desire for sex selection AT ALL. I had a speech all prepared and rehearsed, and I didn't have to use it one bit. Everyone there was very matter-of-fact about it all, and that probably made me feel the most at peace about my decision. No one there thought I was crazy.

If you have the means for IVF and the means to care for a third child, I say go for it! Life is too short for regrets.

[anne.d]

I believe these thoughts have crossed many ladies minds who have considered going through IVF for GS. I agree with atomic. Whenever money is not an issue I would highly recommend IVF GS. I have 2 girls and did IVF for a boy. I absolutely felt guilty and questioned myself for doing it as I was able to conceive naturally no problem. We have decided that we will not have any more children unless we can guarantee that our third is a boy. IVF was the only option that will guarantee this. We did not once regret doing this. Our GS boy is almost 6 months old. We love him no differently from our girls. He was worth everything we went through to get him.

[Jany1025]

I would not overthink it, we are blessed to have the technology we have to be able to do this.
I was consumed with GD, it was torture, not even sure why not because I needed a clone or a ballerina, I think it was more of getting what I "don't" have.

In the end you won't even think about it. You would be surprised how many people do HT for many reasons, my 5 years olds BFF in kindergarten - twin girls from a single mom/sperm donor IUI, and another twin boy/girl from egg donor and husband sperm and then my daughter HT/PGD! Crazy!