Parents keep child's gender a secret

[DoulaMama]

So now women are going to just give birth in a dirty tub, kitchen floor, or in the backyard... If a women wants to have a baby at home they will do anything!

At least the stores still have kiddy pools, a good cleaning, and it would work... until the government says that kiddy pools should be destroyed!

^ exactly my thoughts!! What are they going to do???! Get rid of our beds, toilets, showers, bathtubs, kiddie pools, cow troughs...!!! This is absolutely insane. They have no right to put their noses in our birthing business. If I want a tub to give birth in, I'll bloody well use one. UGH! And to think..Pitocin- used to augment labor- has NEVER been approved by the FDA for use in pregnancy. I bet most wouldn't know that.

[purplepoet20]

Maybe they should get rid of Castor Oil because women use it to induce labor... a women is not a Dr so they can't create a treatment for anything, well in that case they should no longer sell pain pills, gels, powders, douches, vitamins, etc because we people shouldn't do things for ourselves/kids/spouses/pets!!!

[iluvmyman]

I don't know . . . I think the people who were raised by militant hippie-type liberals usually turn out pretty smart, open-minded, interesting, and liberal themselves. This baby will be able to say "I am a boy (or girl)" by the time he/she is 4. This secret thing during the infant stage does make a statement - why is everyone so obsessed? And the older two - being unschooled and choosing clothes - I have no problem with any of that. Society is pretty sick, the gender roles are upsetting, and I tend to side with anyone that challenges those roles. I mean, you can't raise children this way and then throw them in public middle school. But if you can find a nice, sizable group with similar values to socialize with, continue the education at home - by the time they reach college they will probably be pretty smart and capable of having a great life. If you compare this to all the other disturbing ways parents "socialize" their kids - like in super religious closed-off worlds. If I had to choose to be born into this family or into a home-schooled evangelical Christian home, or Orthodox Jewish home, I would take being genderless any day!

I am a Christian homeschooling mother and I have to say I'm offended by this comment. Not all religious homes are oppressive and that is a gross generalization. We are a very well rounded family. I understand where these parents are coming from but it's silly to think that girls won't be girls and boys won't be boys by trying to keep things neutral. It's not possible just like it's not possible to lock your children away in to Christian homeschooling houses and not let your kids socialize and not know that other people have worldly opinions. BTW- my kids are very smart and well rounded too and I teach them to have love for everyone. Anytime to push too much of your thoughts on your kids you will find yourself in trouble and possibly creating the opposite.

[iluvmyman]

We are going to do a Waldorf homeschooling with an unschooling twist (no grades, test, and special subject by choice) and also basic reglious studies on all religions that we can find info on. Only for p-k to 8th because I would like my kids to have the option of going to public school or staying home.

One of my sons best friends is unschooled and he is very smart and well rounded.

We like Charlotte Mason's philosophy if you've looked into it before.

[iluvmyman]

Hmmmm, I do think it's sad how the oldest, Jazz, is already picked on so much and he knows it. That's kinda sad. I am sure he will grow up to be a cool little guy, but he will undoubtedly have more to go through emotionally than my kids will, that is for sure. I don't mean to judge, but I let my girls choose what they want to wear and play with, but I am not going to point them in the direction of the boy's section at Target. They know they are girls, and are proud of it. They like playing with all sorts of stuff, but you know, this society, however sad, is what it is....so to give your kids this kind of bizarre upbringing would not be my choice. I think my biggest problem is with this unschooling thing....great, I get it, there are all sorts of uncoventional types of learning, but do that after your kid gets home from regular school. I mean, can you even GO to college if you are unschooled? I am going to google in a minute, as I know nothing about it, but if I were on a college admissions committee, I would have a very hard time admitting a young man who never took an exam or learned the "basics." I like to think we "unschool" the girls after 3pm and on the weekends, but I do think in this academic structure in our society, that you need to have either some form of structured schooling, whether it is homeschooling or at an organized school. No goals or testing just doesn't sound like a good example for what life really entails.

People who "unschool" are all over the map about what the means to them. Some parents believe to let the children lead what the want to learn and call that unschooling and others don't do anything w/ their kids and hope for the best which they also consider unschooling. I think they can go to college but it would be hard for kids who've never taken a test or had deadlines to be successful. It really depends on the student I'm sure. Parents in every aspect of life are all over the map and extreme. I think balance is key. Kids don't have to read by 6, do double digit addition by 7....ya da ya da but at some point they need to learn.

[iluvmyman]

Good point.... my bro and his wife went Christian nut and now live in the middle of no where and are homeschooling their kids with only the bible. They don't believe they need math. Science and history are against God.

People can be nuts in all sorts of things and it's not specific to Christians. Yes, some "Christians" can be extremists and I probably may not agree with what they do but Freedom is Awesome and I'm sure glad I can choose what I want for my family. There are always bad apples in the bunch, just don't look at the bad apple on the top and think all the rest are bad underneath.

My sister is leaning the extreme way and we've had many discussions about me not agreeing so I understand and I don't love it either.

[iluvmyman]

TOTALLY gonna read that, DM, thanks for the rec! I am so not against unschooling, it just isn't an option for us, and would be really frowned upon where we live. I don't really know many people who homeschool even, the "traditional" way. Actually, we do have pretty decent public schools, but I do take matters into my own hands a lot. I saw a lady on another website's forum say that you can't unschool your kids after regular school, which is what I like to think we do, she says it's a way of life. But, I think that is a little narrow-minded.....I mean, my ex-dh (their dad) would NEVER even consent to them being homeschooled, he is such a conservative Joe America *barf*. But, I have no problem with letting them skip school if I have a day off and we go do something educational.....last time, we went to Atlanta and spent the whole day at MLK's memorial site and his church and we learned all about it. You know, I know it's probably not the same thing as unschooling, but I like to think I am at least doing a good job supplementing their education with real world things that interest them every chance I get, which is better than a lot of parents in this country....pretty much one of the worst problems with public education in this country.

I was amazed when I started looking into it and connecting with a homeschooling group how many people do it (from un-schoolers to like traditional home schoolers). Schools are struggling in CA and that's no lie. It's hard for teachers to even teach with ratio's and troubled/undisciplined kids in their classrooms. We chose to make some sacrifices so I could stay at home and homeschool for un-extreme reasons. I don't think public school is horrible, in fact, my 15 year old has gone to public school (she is doing homeschool for the last quarter of this year and will for next year too). There are things I think wonderful about homeschooling but it isn't an option or even a desire for a lot of families and that's cool too. I love the benefits and I personally like having more of an influence on my children then their friends and teachers. My kids are very socially connected and are no way un-socialized. BTW- any student can take up to 6 units per semester at a J.C. If your 9th grader starts taking the 6 units per semester at a J.C. and uses a charter school for high school credits, they can graduate their junior year w/ their A.A. degree. Pretty cool.

[iluvmyman]

In a way unschooling is harder work....

If your child wants to study "planets" you have to go get enough supplies allow your child to take as long as they want or need... and then... when they decide to study something else you have to start all over again.

Unschooling parents have 10x's more schooling supplies then lets say a religious homeschool. When you choose to based homeschool on your religion or culture you buy just what is approved, but for unschooling you are opening the world to your child and saying learn everything. You end up getting books on every subject, videos to help explain what you don't know, charts and diagrams to put up around the house, online research to educate yourself so you can be ready to answer questions, and sometimes spending hours trying to find activities that help teach what your child is interested in. Your house becomes over cluttered with things you have collected as your child learns. And you learn how to turn everything around you into a lesson, without them knowing... DS1 has learned colors, ABC's, and 123's while shopping at the store.

There is a good number of unschooling families where I live... you learn a lot by just visit their homes for play dates.

You can be religious and also unschool. There are soooooo many different programs, books, options, and philosophy's out there it's actually worse then learning to sway when you look at all the different ways to homeschool. You can make homeschooling whatever the heck you want to and it will look different in every single persons home because people are different and what they value is different. That's the beauty of freedom. I'm sure any kids from a loving home will turn out just fine.

[iluvmyman]

Guess what, I'm a Christian Homeschooling Mom and who has given birth at home in a birthing tub, loves homeopathic and alternative methods and I spank my children. So hate away. I'm also a really nice, well-rounded, educated person who loves her family dearly.

[My Fabulous Children]

WHAT F***?!! This is BS. I feel sorry for the little boy!