Parents keep child's gender a secret

[LolaInLove]

Purple, that is how my ex-dh (father of my girls) all of the sudden became when my youngest was born. As you can imagine, I have a hard time with joint custody because they have it like your brother's kids over at his house and like your kids at my house (I have them 85% of the time, thankfully....they just have to go to his house every other weekend but HATE it). I will tell you, though, there is no arguing your point with people like that, as you probably already well know. Sad, I hate that your kids can't see their cousins, but what are ya gonna do?

[atomic sagebrush]

I don't know . . . I think the people who were raised by militant hippie-type liberals usually turn out pretty smart, open-minded, interesting, and liberal themselves. This baby will be able to say "I am a boy (or girl)" by the time he/she is 4. This secret thing during the infant stage does make a statement - why is everyone so obsessed? And the older two - being unschooled and choosing clothes - I have no problem with any of that. Society is pretty sick, the gender roles are upsetting, and I tend to side with anyone that challenges those roles. I mean, you can't raise children this way and then throw them in public middle school. But if you can find a nice, sizable group with similar values to socialize with, continue the education at home - by the time they reach college they will probably be pretty smart and capable of having a great life. If you compare this to all the other disturbing ways parents "socialize" their kids - like in super religious closed-off worlds. If I had to choose to be born into this family or into a home-schooled evangelical Christian home, or Orthodox Jewish home, I would take being genderless any day!

OUCH. We are all friends here and from many different backgrounds.

[atomic sagebrush]

Hmmmm, I do think it's sad how the oldest, Jazz, is already picked on so much and he knows it. That's kinda sad. I am sure he will grow up to be a cool little guy, but he will undoubtedly have more to go through emotionally than my kids will, that is for sure. I don't mean to judge, but I let my girls choose what they want to wear and play with, but I am not going to point them in the direction of the boy's section at Target. They know they are girls, and are proud of it. They like playing with all sorts of stuff, but you know, this society, however sad, is what it is....so to give your kids this kind of bizarre upbringing would not be my choice. I think my biggest problem is with this unschooling thing....great, I get it, there are all sorts of uncoventional types of learning, but do that after your kid gets home from regular school. I mean, can you even GO to college if you are unschooled? I am going to google in a minute, as I know nothing about it, but if I were on a college admissions committee, I would have a very hard time admitting a young man who never took an exam or learned the "basics." I like to think we "unschool" the girls after 3pm and on the weekends, but I do think in this academic structure in our society, that you need to have either some form of structured schooling, whether it is homeschooling or at an organized school. No goals or testing just doesn't sound like a good example for what life really entails.

Yes, you can go to college if you're unschooled. Unschooling is actually a pretty viable lifestyle for many people and it produces some pretty amazing kids. (I don't unschool but I do homeschool, and I am going to take a much more relaxed approach with the little boys than I did with the big boys.).

[atomic sagebrush]

I don't know if you're up for a bit of reading but there is a great book by Jon Taylor Gatto(a teacher of 20+ years in the school system in New York)and it's called Dumbing us Down. Fantastic read about the school system. I think everyone should read it. It's small and easy to get through in a few days but it's eye-opening. Not to try to change your mind or anything...I swear It's just one of those books that truly made me think about my kids schooling and future.
xo

Totally a great read.

[atomic sagebrush]

People can be nuts in all sorts of things and it's not specific to Christians. Yes, some "Christians" can be extremists and I probably may not agree with what they do but Freedom is Awesome and I'm sure glad I can choose what I want for my family. There are always bad apples in the bunch, just don't look at the bad apple on the top and think all the rest are bad underneath.

My sister is leaning the extreme way and we've had many discussions about me not agreeing so I understand and I don't love it either.

Standing ovation!! (((whistles)))

[atomic sagebrush]

Sorry! Just getting back to this thread now. After I posted I thought ugh, that came out a little harsh on the religious homeschooling. I most certainly was referring to extremist and close-minded situations. And like Lindi said, I was just pointing out the other end of the spectrum, and that main****** society always seems so threatened by the uber-liberal type. You sound like a great mom/teacher, and no offense meant.

Totally understood but a reminder that we should all keep in mind that we are women from around the world, from many different backgrounds and we all have 10,000 times more in common with each other than we have differences is never a bad thing. ♥♥♥