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March 18th, 2014, 07:37 PM #1
Unsure about ttc.. but dreaming of pink!
Hey guys! So thought I would introduce myself
DH and i haven't decided yet If we will ttc. If we do it won't be till after xmas so ill just read as much as I can for if we decide too! We both really want a girl. I'm pretty baby hungry right now.. I blame my adorable niece lol There hasn't been a girl born on DH's side of the family for 70 yrs? So it sounds like it will be a challenge! Lol
I'm 25 and dh is 32 he doesn't want to have kids past 35 so we only have a couple years to decide. We have 2 nephews that we love*a ton but they are very disabled with an unknown disorder. My SIL swares it is a sex linked disorder on Dh's side of the family but if she had a girl it would be fine. ( which would be x-linked not y so from SIL side) or it could be something completely different and be hereditary.
Trying not to bore you guys will all the research I've done lol anyways they got offered free testing to see what the disorder is and they turned it down because they don't want to know the life expectancy. I wish they would just find out the disorder and not life expectancy so we know if we can have kids.. or go HT if it is in Dh's genes.
A lot of people have said it would be horrible of us to try for a kid knowing they could have this disorder.. were not sure if we will or not. We want to sway for a girl incase what my SIL says is true. From research and gut instinct I think our baby will be okay no matter what it is, but its so scary to try! So that's our story guess we will see if we dare to try!
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March 18th, 2014, 07:59 PM #2
First of all welcome and hope you find here all the information you are looking for... there is a ton of great stuff.
As far as a disorder being a Y linked disorder that is very unlikely. There just isn't a whole lot located on the Y chromosome besides male characteristics. Not to say that is isn't impossible but it is improbable.
JMO but I think it is really weird that they don't want to do any genetic testing... wouldn't they want to know exactly what it is their children have so they would know how to best treat it? I guess I shouldn't judge as I don't have kids with a disorder but I would think I would want to know as much about it as possible. Have you talked with a genetic counselor? Sounds like it would be worth your time.
Hope you find the information you are looking for!!
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March 18th, 2014, 09:31 PM #3
I would want to know incase there was anything they could do to help. I think she is afraid of finding out its a sex linked disorder from her side of the family. Maybe she is afraid people will look down on her?
I talked to my dr about genetic counseling but without knowing what disorder they are looking for it would be to hard to narrow it down and see if my hubby could pass it on. She also said with me being young and no physical proof that there is a disorder that could be passed to our kids we don't qualify for IVF to make sure our baby is healthy before implanting. I wish my SIL would understand it affects more than just them .. I think she might but I also think she doesn't want us to have or try to have a baby incase ours comes out "normal"
I think I might have DH on board with trying next year I hope he doesn't change his mind! Were only using a spermicide right now maybe well accidentally get knocked up lol
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March 18th, 2014, 09:55 PM #4Big Dreamer
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Can you go for IVF/PGD? It sounds like it would be a good option with your concerns, and you would have that guarantee.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
[2] healthy baby boy born in 2011
[21 weeks] Nov. 2012 Went for a scan at 20 weeks, baby measured 17+6, came back for a follow up scan and baby had passed away. Lots of testing, no answers.
Moving on without my son's brother. Starting our HT journey in 2014.
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March 19th, 2014, 01:07 PM #5
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March 19th, 2014, 02:06 PM #6
Yup that's what I said. Hopefully it is a X chromosome disorder so we don't have anything to worry about.
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March 20th, 2014, 12:30 PM #7
If it is chromosomal at all then it is a recessive gene which means that even if your DH has the recessive gene it doesn't mean that you will. Since it is some rare disease that no one can seem to put their finger on it is HIGHLY unlikely. Seems like a genetic counselor would have been able to tell you that?? Sounds to me like the odds of your kids having it are very slim.
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March 21st, 2014, 08:56 PM #8
Yup I agree, its still scary thinking about trying. Especially with a lot of people telling us it would be wrong too. But I'm pretty sure if they were in our situation they would try to! We will just have to pray for a healthy baby when we decide to try. Having a girl on top of it would just be the icing on the cake, a healthy baby is really all that matters
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March 25th, 2014, 03:01 PM #9Swaying Advice Coach
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Hi and welcome. Gender does not run in families (at least not genetically)
I am so sorry to hear about your nephews. But your sister in law is incorrect about it being a sex linked disorder on your husband's side. That is not how sex linked disorders work. They are handed down by the MOTHER and absolutely cannot be handed down by the dad and here is why:
Women are made up of XX meaning they have a backup if they have something wrong with one of the X's. Men are made up of XY and if they have something wrong with their X, they will be severely disabled or die, because they only have ONE (if it's bad, it's bad). Her husband and your husband would not be healthy dudes walking around if they had a sex-linked condition, they'd have the same condition as your nephews.
IF it's a sex linked condition, it had to come from her side because she could have one good X and one bad X, 50-50 of handing it down to her sons. Women are the carriers of sex-linked conditions. There is no way this came from your husband's side of the family and you are perfectly safe to TTC.
I ahve a more indepth explanation here http://genderdreaming.com/forum/sway...by-gender.html!!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!
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