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January 12th, 2016, 04:20 PM #21Swaying Advice Coach
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I understand totally and I realize rereading what I wrote that complex emotions are just that - complex - and that I get that you can totally feel lots of different ways about this. I hope my response wasn't overly harsh, please realize that I actually DO get people who are falling apart and basically locking themselves in a closet going full-on Howard Hughes researching every possible thing that has ever been rumored to sway gender, no matter how dangerous or farfetched it is. So I apologize if the atomic tough love was unwarranted there.
We totally understand it's not about having another boy. We totally get that. It's that idea of NEVER. Of that door closing forever, but at the same time you ahve to live in the real world and that you could wait forever and "ruin" (not that your family would be ruined, but that you wouldn't have the spacing you want) your family ideal over something that might not ever happen anyway - IKYKWIM. You could wait 10 years and still get a boy then. I just hope you can take a step back and understand you're surrounded by tons of ladies who nailed that 3 day cutoff and got a boy so please don't take it so seriously. You don't need to give it up, but neither should you be getting upset if it doesn't work out. One of the most important lessons that I have learned from this process, is just as you say about control. It may even be that the more we fight to BE in control, we may end up passing by opportunities where God/luck/the universe was lending us a hand.
Swaying is kinda like an iceberg, where the stuff we see and control is just this teensy bit and then under the water there is this massive enormous thing. So we may end up waiting and waiting for everything above the surface to fall into place, but in the meantime we pass by months where for all we know, literally every single thing that we cannot see may be pink-friendly. Control what you can control, and then at the end of it you have to walk forward eventually in faith or in hope as per your belief system.!!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!
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Post Thanks / Like - 1 Thanks, 2 Likes, 0 DislikesComplex Emotions thanked for this postmaidentomother, Sweetplum liked this post
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January 12th, 2016, 10:00 PM #22
Love the tip of the iceberg analogy atomic!
My Ovulation Chart currently TTC, Cycle #16 since last BFP
TTC #1 - swaying pink on & off since Nov 2013 - hoping for a girl first but excited for either!
Dec 2001 - May 2006 : 5 early abortions of healthy singletons (3 medical @5w, 2 surgical @8w, last 4 pregnancies conceived with late DH, all conceived while TTA/on birth control)
Mar 2012: miscarried B/G twins @5w (conceived 2 cycles after removìng Paraguard copper IUD while NTNP), one twin was ovarian ectopic
Me: 34, widowed, late O + short LP, normal-good hormone levels excepting undetectable testosterone, seeking a known sperm donor/life partner
My sway: vegetarian LE for over 28w, skipping breakfast, fibre (ground psyllium husks) with/before/between meals, physically inactive, drama avoidance, ocassional minimal YesBaby lube as needed, alternate cycles on low dose Clomid, double shot lattes (with meals)
Past sway tactics I've dropped (in order): Vitex, Sudafed, antihistamines, intermittent fasting, one attempt per cycle at positive OPK, one attempt in fertile period
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Post Thanks / Like - 1 Thanks, 0 Likes, 0 Dislikesatomic sagebrush thanked for this post
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January 13th, 2016, 01:16 AM #23
I hope it's ok to bump mon this thread, I was curious do you believe atomic and others that along with LE and 1 attempt, you should also do the jump and dump ( sounds horrible saying!)? Anything else you would add, I know Sudafed is a no no, but Benadryl? No douch because it's decreases conception but does it work?
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January 17th, 2016, 03:09 PM #24Swaying Advice Coach
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Jump and dump has seemed to add something in statistics so I'd give it a shot at the start.
Benadryl and other antihistamine have been neutral. Cuts odds conception, doesn't seem to help.
Douching, I believe only appears to work becuase it's done with one attempt. I think the apparent success in our stats (which is very small sample size BTW) is deceiving because the one attempt sways so much. I saw tons of people douche like madwomen and get boys doing that and it causes tons of trouble with infections and stuff.!!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!
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January 17th, 2016, 03:10 PM #25Swaying Advice Coach
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!!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!
If you appreciate my help with your sway plan, please consider a donation:
https://www.paypal.com/donate?hosted_button_id=C92U9TVWTRTDQ
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Post Thanks / Like - 1 Thanks, 0 Likes, 0 DislikesComplex Emotions thanked for this post
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January 20th, 2016, 11:39 AM #26Swaying Advice Coach
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I actually recommend 1200-1600 for pink, 2000 for blue (that's micrograms, not milligrams) THe reason I do that, is not because I"m trying to be different or quirky, it's because I researched it thoroughly and based on studies that is the safest amount for you guys to be taking while on a somewhat restricted diet. 1000 is ok if that's the way it works out with your dose though.
EVeryone takes 400 because that is the barest minimum. That is the amount for women of childbearing age JUST IN CASE they conceive. IT is the "if I mention this than no one can sue me" amount. But I have seen babies with neural tube defects conceived at that level. I had a baby with an NTD at 800 mcg folic acid, probably because I was drinking green tea at the same time (there are many things that actually block folic acid). Many sources recommend 800-1000 mcg folate for any women planning a pregnancy and these are women on a normal diet and taking prenatals as well. I think that the 1200-1600 mcg is best for you guys partly becaue your diet is more restrictive, and partly becaue you're not on prenatals (some other B vitamins help folic acid to be used better by the body)
The difference between 800 and 1000 is miniscule. If you think you are somehow preventing twin pregnancy by cutting back on 200 mcg folic acid, I'm sorry but that just isn't the way it works. They actually have studied if folic acid causes twinning and they found that it did NOT. What it does do, is ensures that both babies in a twin pregnancy develop normally and stay stuck. Many people who conceive twins end up losing one or both, and the folic acid may help prevent that from happening. So not that it is making more twins happen, but that it is enabling more twin pregnancies to work out.!!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!
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Post Thanks / Like - 2 Thanks, 0 Likes, 0 Dislikesmaidentomother, Complex Emotions thanked for this post
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January 22nd, 2016, 01:52 PM #27
I just read through this whole string of posts about your situation and I can very much relate. I'm a bit different, with two boys already, I'm 40 AND my husband had a vasectomy after our second due to some really tough health stuff the four of us went through, but, only a year after the V I'm here - having the exact same internal debate you guys are.
It's all so much to think about.
I do have to say that over the past few weeks/months/years as I've been processing things and thinking about life in general I've found this sort of comfort by looking back on this journey and seeing that everything really does work out the way it's meant to and sometimes those things that are the most incredible blessings actually fall in your lap without any warning and when you least expect it. We really are so limited in the control we have and even more, what is most important is how we deal with setbacks and those things out of our control....not how much we 'get what we want'. I wish I could take my own thoughts and musings to heart more than I do....I feel so much in tune with your complex emotions...
I wish you peace on this journey, I have a feeling you guys will find the right solution for your family with all the thought and care you are putting into this. Best wishes and please keep us posted. I will be following along.Last edited by Sweetplum; January 22nd, 2016 at 02:02 PM.
(2011) (2014)
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Post Thanks / Like - 1 Thanks, 1 Likes, 0 DislikesComplex Emotions thanked for this postatomic sagebrush liked this post
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January 22nd, 2016, 08:23 PM #28Swaying Advice Coach
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If HT is on the table, I recommend at least looking into it. Because what may happen in that you end up back here ANYWAY with another little dude in tow trying to work out logistics for that. Time is not our friend in HT and the odds of success only decline, the idea that you can go HT in your early 40's is propagated by celebs who have either used donated/or prefrozen eggs, or did a dozen cycles.
HT now, sway later. If it doesn't work out, you absolutely CAN sway in your 40's it's wayyyy easier than HT in your 40's.!!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!
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Post Thanks / Like - 1 Thanks, 0 Likes, 0 DislikesComplex Emotions thanked for this post
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January 22nd, 2016, 08:26 PM #29Swaying Advice Coach
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totally and the journey, when you look back on it, you realize, wow, wouldn't change a thing. My DS 4 is my doppelganger, my smartypants, and a great kid (as I was writing this he said "I spy something beautiful and she's typing on the computer.") !! My 3rd is my husband's best buddy and soo adorably handsome. My 2nd is the most amazing and supportive guy and my bestest friend. I just wouldn't change that at all (and none of that of course takes away from my first who I wanted to be a boy with every fiber of my being, was just lucky enough to get him and love him to the moon and back) . My daughter isn't a replacement for what these guys brought into my lives.
Last edited by atomic sagebrush; January 22nd, 2016 at 08:29 PM.
!!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!
If you appreciate my help with your sway plan, please consider a donation:
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Post Thanks / Like - 1 Thanks, 5 Likes, 0 Dislikesluvmyfam thanked for this post
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January 23rd, 2016, 04:06 PM #30
I don't really have much to say except I love, love everything you just said atomic! So sweet!
2009 2011 7/2016
Due in October with our baby girl!
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Post Thanks / Like - 0 Thanks, 1 Likes, 0 Dislikesatomic sagebrush liked this post
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