Hello there ... 40 year old, two boys, Vasectomy Reversal ahead of us.

[Dreamsister]

Yes. Strangely the couples that seem so happy and perfect and well adjusted are always the ones that don't seem to make it. We try to be authentic which some times is messy and imperfect, and I like that in my friends too. Better not to care at all what others think since there will always be a huge group that don't see life the same way and will judge.

On another note, is drinking Coke Zero (aspartame) going to totally ruin my girl sway?
I can give up for a few weeks but then I cave....
I will be strict and cut out if it's important but if not, I'd rather not freak out over it.
How many is too many per day if it's OK....

You are so right about that Sweetplum. Perfect is boring.

I was told that Coke Zero is good for pink swayers. I drink it, but not everyday.


DS1 (9) ❤️ DS2 (8) DS3 (5) ❤️ DW (41) DH (38) TTC'ing pink from May 2016

[atomic sagebrush]

Ok. I HAD TO make a diet because people wanted me to. But the secret is that you don't HAVE to do the diet perfectly, mostly, or even at all to get a girl. you can do none of it, and still get a girl. That is ok. What I would strongly suggest that everyone do is not look at the LE Diet as this "you must do everything exactly like this or you will have a boy" and instead, look at it as like a set of goalposts to aim at. But at the end of it all, all you really need to do is move your diet in a more "pink" direction than it was when you got your boys. That is what your body knows. your body doesn't know some crap I wrote on a piece of paper 6 years ago. It knows "I was getting this much food, and now I'm getting this much".

Boy moms tend to be all or nothing thinkers and so people get overly hung up on following every letter of LE but all you have to do is be more pink friendly than you were.

So, what I would do is just go vegetarian (being sure to get your protein and fat from primarily vegetable sources), drink coffee, some wine if you like it, Diet Coke is said to sway pink anyway. you can have things like nuts and avocado now and then. There are no forbidden foods on LE (altho I would keep the cereal to a dull roar if you can)

Walking counts as exercise and if you live in a city and walk for an hour at any point during the day, that counts. I would try to get it in one burst if you can.

[Dreamsister]

Thank you.

I'm struggling with the sway to be totally honest. We are still moving forward with our plans and husband jokes a bit about it now which means we are turning the corner from serious to just a fact of life. But the sway is kinda hard for me....

I struggle to 'fast' for long periods of time and really like breakfast.

I can absolutely not fit in 60 min of exercise everyday let alone 4-5 days a week. I'm just sitting down at my computer at 10.30pm after running around non stop at work, kids stuff and evening events. I'd have to give up time at work, with my children or with my other commitments to fit in exercise and there is no way I can wake up an hour early to do it as I'm really tired as it is. I feel like I'm already stretched too thin to fit this in. I'm not a 'workout' person anyway, i'm fit but I never go to the gym, just walks around the block and mostly chasing after boys.

I like 'calorie dense' healthy foods like nuts, cerals, avocados, etc. I don't eat tons of them, but I like them....

I don't like feeling deprived. I'm so busy and tired a lot of the time that eating well and regularly keeps me mentally, emotionally and physically fit...I feel off on this diet. I basically hate any sort of diet or plan for my eating and drinking....I don't like strict routines at all.

Maybe I'm doing it wrong?

Being veggie is easy for me though, I'm not a huge meat eater so I like this part of the sway.

I guess for the most part I'm starting to wonder if I care enough to do the sway - I'm feeling lazy. I want a baby, would love a girl but excited about a boy too, but not sure if I'm dedicated enough to plan all this stuff out and follow through with it now, during TTC and until we possibly get pregnant. Maybe it's my growing indifference towards gender and excitement about another child that is making me lazy.

Oh well.

Sweetplum, you sound a lot like me! I think you are in a wonderfull position where you care less and less about this fucking gender thing. Do what you can, don't obsess, have faith and certainly also try to have fun doing it. Life is so short so we better enjoy the best we can. Happy your DH seems to have accepted the fact that you might be parents again. Have a great weekend.


DS1 (9) ❤️ DS2 (8) DS3 (5) ❤️ DW (41) DH (38) TTC'ing pink from May 2016

[atomic sagebrush]

^^^ I think we need a new acronym - this FGT (fucking gender thing)!!

[Sweetplum]

Hello all.
I wanted to just give you an update and say farewell. After a few weeks of deep thinking, soul-searching and meditation I've decided to move on with my happy and full life with my two boys.

I know I will always have a bit of baby-fever and will never fully accept being done with the 'childbearing years', I loved being a new mom, nursing, birthing, long walks, anticipating each new milestone while watching my babies change in incredible ways each day. It's like being high for me really, being a new mom, full of so much joy and love - there is nothing else like it.

But two weeks ago life offered us an exciting new adventure, a really amazing opportunity for me professionally. This new door being opened for my life and ultimately for our family has made me realize that although wrapping up the baby stage is not easy for me, I'm ready to move on with my dear husband and our two wonderful little boys and appreciate all I have in the present. Turning down this opportunity would be a poor choice for me, it just sounds too fun and too exciting. And I cannot take on this new career path and go through a vasectomy reversal, TTC, pregnancy and birth again. I had to choose and I'm choosing my two sons and my husband and fulfilling my childhood career dreams for myself. This choice is very much about me and my life goals and also about ensuring less risk for my two children I have as well as my husband's health.

This opportunity sealed the deal for me, it's time to move on.

Best wishes to all of you. Thank you for being here and allowing me to process this all over the past year, it has been really emotional for me and depressing at time to feel so unsure of everything. Going through all this alone would have been very lonely, thank you for the support.
XO Sweetplum

[Complex Emotions]

Congratulations Sweetplum, how exciting! From what I've read on this site, finding new opportunities for personal growth and or career fulfillment is a great way to combat lingering GD feelings. Your decision is inspiring!

[Dreamsister]

Wauhh, Sweetplum. What a decision. It sounds that you have finally made up your mind. I am really happy for you. GL with moving forward with new challenging adventures.

I once asked a wise woman about her opinion about my yearning for a baby and she urged me to rack my soul because the solution was not necessarily a baby. It could also be a new and more creative job, a travel, more love or changes in my private live.

The right decision is NOT always the easiest one to make. It takes a lot of courage. Your decision is in particular inspiring to me. I am sure you will find peace with it because this is the right thing to do for you and your family.

I will definately miss your company and want to thank your for all your straightforward and honest posts.

Take care and enjoy.

[Pink Pony]

Wishing you everything of the best for your future and your new opportunities

[atomic sagebrush]

Excellent!! Wishing you all the best moving forward with this new opportunity!

[Sweetplum]

Well. It has been about a year since I joined this site and a few months since I left...

My new job is amazing. I absolutely feel fulfilled,challenged and excited by it.

But I keep coming back to thoughts of another baby. I'm starting to realize that these feelings will not go away for a while, most likely menopause but maybe never.

I told my husband that I think I have to just schedule the reversal, that it's now or never. That if I don't I may not really bounce back. That sounds so dramatic and I'm embarrassed by the way I feel to be honest.

Why can't I just move on?

I want a girl desperately yes, but the thought of a baby boy makes me happy too. I want the craziness of more...sadly my husband really doesn't and time is not my friend.

I am just worried I'll never feel totally happy again, which, once again is depressing since I have a perfectly amazing life and family as it is.