Hello there ... 40 year old, two boys, Vasectomy Reversal ahead of us.

[XXforhubby]

I've been thinking of how you are getting a long! I'm glad you like your new job!

Be kind to yourself. When it comes to matters of the heart, they cannot always be rationalized while at the same time being completely valid. The heart wants what the heart wants. I don't think it is a matter of being fulfilled by what you have- you seem very satisfied with your family. Rather it seems that someone else is missing.

I hope that your DH becomes on board with the decision to TTC, since he is the one getting a procedure done to make it happen. Don't beat yourself up over this, if it is something you truly want. From my experience with having a DH waffling with having another child, it may be easier for him to come around to the idea if he can see that you really want it and can handle it. My DH cancelled his vasectomy last month and is excited about having a 4th child after spending all of last year not wanting another. He said that my unwavering desire and calmness about our current family made him able to see how we can manage having a 4th child. I'm not saying it will be easy, but having the right frame of mind about adding another child to the family and talking it through with him will help.

I'll be sending you clarity of mind and strength your way! Hang in there sweetie!



DS1, DS2, & DS3
One Last Pink Sway

My Ovulation Chart

[atomic sagebrush]

Because I had my two boys, and then 13 years later, had the three little ones, I think people tended to open up to me about this issue more than they do normally. And I would guess a good 30 women, at the least, told me that they had always wanted one more child but their husband said no. These were strangers - people I met in doctors offices or the supermarket or the library. They would ask about my weird family and then immediately tell me the story - women of all ages, too. Young, old, everywhere in between. It was just an immediate reaction so it was something that was obviously a part of them, something that was on their minds, almost like it was a shared female emotion or something

There are two things I take away from that experience:

1)That many of us just have the desire for one more. I feel done, but I often wish I had sneaked in an extra one or two between DS 2 and 3. I was just thinking about it this morning. sometimes dream that I'm pregnant and I feel happy about it (even though it would probably kill me LOL - kids and I have been sick for a month straight and I feel like one germ away from the asylum) So this may be a natural feeling that we all have from time to time, and maybe just something that never totally goes away. (although I do know a fair number of women who just aren't that into it, no right or wrong of course)

2)That at the same time, since so many women do have this feeling, maybe, just maybe, it's worth listening to. Do some women ride the baby train too long and have more kids than they probably should, yeah, but most of us are NOT those people. Most of us have 1-3 kids and could easily take care of 1-2 more without any great suffering on anyone's part. It may even be good for our husbands and other kids - my husband dotes on our littler ones in a way that he never did with our older two, and I think that overall it's been highly beneficial for my 3 to have just that much less one on one time. Yes, you read that right. I was my parents' only child and ALL the attention was on me for better or for worse - usually for worse. I find that my 3 smaller kids benefit hugely in terms of me not doing everything for them, having more independence, being self-starters, etc than my first two did. So it's not always a question of us "doing bad things" to our hubbies and kids, and if we find it fulfilling, maybe that is all the justification we need.

YOLO.

[Sweetplum]

I am going to do it. VR will be on February 17.
Will need a lot of vibes and prayers for health....

[XXforhubby]

I am going to do it. VR will be on February 17.
Will need a lot of vibes and prayers for health....

You got it sweetie. I'm sending lots of strength and health your way



DS1, DS2, & DS3
One Last Pink Sway

My Ovulation Chart

[Birthfree]

I have 5 kids, I'm 40, I was done having kids... and here I am. I suffered huge depression and anxiety for more than a year - like take medication for it, see a counselor kind. Because of wanting another baby so much and my husband really not.

It was quite the year...

My husband decided after I spent some serious soul searching trying to take note of what he was trying to tell me (and finally succeeding)... that he's great with another baby. Astounded sort of doesn't cover how I feel about it. We met with our counselor to be sure (for me to be sure) he wasn't changing his mind just to make me happy. I was afraid of moving forward with a husband who hated being a stay at home Dad to a new baby.

I feel like sometimes we can't get rid of that feeling because we aren't supposed to... that someone else is waiting for us. Maybe that's hokey.

I wish you the best of luck and health, moving forward.

[Dreamsister]

Sweetplum. Yeahhhhh. VR-date set. That's great news. I am sure you are doing the right thing. So happy your DH is on board.


Mother to 3 handsome boys ❤️ and pregnant with a baby girl due in June 2017 . DW (41) DH (38)

[Sweetplum]

Thank you all
I just purchased the TTC girl bundle. Can someone tell me how to access the questionnaire I need to fill out for Atomic?
Other tips. Having a hard time figuring out next step.

[atomic sagebrush]

Thanks for your purchase!! The questionnaires are here in this link (you have to scroll down past another couple of questionnaires though) http://genderdreaming.com/forum/misc.php?do=forms

[atomic sagebrush]

Thank you all
I just purchased the TTC girl bundle. Can someone tell me how to access the questionnaire I need to fill out for Atomic?
Other tips. Having a hard time figuring out next step.

Once I get the questionnaire I'll make the plan but you can always hit me up between then and now with any questions or concerns.

One thing that jumps out at me right this minute is PLEASE do not have your husband start any supps until after he is fully recovered from his surgery. Even if tons of other people are on them, they may cause harmful side effects were a person to take them prior to surgery.

[Sweetplum]

Once I get the questionnaire I'll make the plan but you can always hit me up between then and now with any questions or concerns.

One thing that jumps out at me right this minute is PLEASE do not have your husband start any supps until after he is fully recovered from his surgery. Even if tons of other people are on them, they may cause harmful side effects were a person to take them prior to surgery.

Thanks Atomic. I just filled out the questionnaires. I plan to go to Whole Foods tomorrow to pick up a few things - if you get this note in the next few hours let me know if I should pick up any supplements for myself. I'm currently taking 120mg of Ubiquinol and 800 MCG of folic acid (not folate). If you have suggestions I'll grab stuff trmw...