DH's opinion

[Rosie85]

I am having issues too. Dh is fine with one more but not two more. The thing is we want to try sperm sorting if my back gets better after this current failed sway pregnancy. I tld him I am not leaving this earth until I get my girl. The microsrt has a 91% success rate for a girl...well that's 9% chance for a boy. I said if we do sorting and get a boy I want to still adopt a girl. If we sort and get a girl I will be done. He says no no no no no to the adopting a girl if the sorting were to fail. NOT fair :-( humph

[cvd]

Can we swap DHs CVD????!!!!!!!!!!! I talked mine into trying for number 3 just now, but I've my heart set on four altogether! He'd be happy with two.

LOL! Sure!!!! I keep telling him we can have more if he will be the stay at home parent (which he's totally ok with) and if he can have the csections for me (and the pregnancy)!!! LOL he ends up in a grump every time!

[BabyCakesTor]

Aw man! I almost wish Dh was like that lol!!!
We are only preg with our second but I am ADAMANT this is it!!!!! I am an only child and NEVER wanted kids of my own. I love my DS to bits and I am so glad to have our second on the wat but as a single child, my patience... Well lets say I have room for growth lol! I can handle 2 but I think I'd go crazy with more. DH IS INSANELY adamant about 3!!!! This is it for me, I swear he will never give up. We are only 9 weeks preg and he's already planning things for number THREE lol he is almost like the wife in this relationship but I already told him he's getting the snip once this baby is born hehehe!!! If I was up for it, DH would want to birth a hockey team of his own.

I said I was done after DS3 and here I am hoping he will agree to TTC next month....I just have to try all I can for a girl and if I have a boy- well hopefully my boys will give me grand-daughters

[Mrs_Incredible]

My DH doesn't want a 4th either. He gives me the guilt trip about robbing our boys of money and opportunities if we have another. He wants the boys to have every opportunity (club soccer, summer camps, vacations, etc.) and a baby would take all our extra money and time. I totally disagree! We have a 4 bedroom house (one of the bedrooms sits empty since 2 of the boys share!), a minivan and I'm a SAHM. I told him I would go back to work in a couple years to help us financially, but he would rather I went back to work now to provide more opportunities for our kids (and stop dreaming of a baby!).

I'm so frustrated with him because after DS3 was born he promised me we'd try for #4. Now he is so happy and content with his 3 boys he wants to change his mind. And he is as stubborn as a mule!

The only way I have been ttc with him is through bribery. He is always up for dtd, and he can't resist garters and high heels LOL. I guess I'm lucky he has a high sex drive, but that's probably why we have boys. Every month he warns me that he's going to make an appointment to get the snip. My next move is to promise him he can buy the fishing boat he's always wanted if I get pg.

I'm a firm believer that God provides, and no matter how many kids we have we'll be a happy family with everything we need. But I'm starting to get worried that its not in Gods plan for me to have a 4th because it hasn't happened in 8 months of trying. I know it's my age, and I've been trying to be patient, take some supps for egg health and just pray like crazy.

Anyone have any comebacks for the money argument against having more kids?

My husband said the same about having another, and then another - £, no holidays etc etc .... but I told him I don't want to be sad for the rest of my life, and have the ache that we didn't try a last time, and in time the money situation will get better. I guess his want for a daughter helped me sway his 'on the fence' and yoyo between yes/no. I also said, I can't work til the kids are much older, my youngest is only 16 months, so why not just have the last baby and then move on seeing as there will only be a year or 2 in it!! xx

[Adia]

Aw man! I almost wish Dh was like that lol!!!
We are only preg with our second but I am ADAMANT this is it!!!!! I am an only child and NEVER wanted kids of my own. I love my DS to bits and I am so glad to have our second on the wat but as a single child, my patience... Well lets say I have room for growth lol! I can handle 2 but I think I'd go crazy with more. DH IS INSANELY adamant about 3!!!! This is it for me, I swear he will never give up. We are only 9 weeks preg and he's already planning things for number THREE lol he is almost like the wife in this relationship but I already told him he's getting the snip once this baby is born hehehe!!! If I was up for it, DH would want to birth a hockey team of his own.

I have a dear friend who says the same thing about 2 kids. She is an only child and had very clear guidelines about her kids. She did want kids but refused to have an only child and can only handle two. She has two boys and is sad that she will never have a girl but she knows her limits. Growing up an only child is tough when it comes to little kids because you didn't have any siblings to learn from.

Two kids is a big change from one kid so hopefully your Dh will see that and respect your limits!

[Adia]

How does your DH feel about 'just one more baby'?

Does he feel he is: too old for this s***/done/unprepared for one more?

My DH told me not to even joke about No4, but he'll come to his senses He is a good man who dearly loves our daughters so he will love our son as well. He has that 'man type' thoughts, like money, space, bigger car, time etc.

Also, what worries me more, his sex drive is so low, it's been a big problem during TTC process It is just too much for him to BD every 3-4 days, let alone 2 days. It wasn't like that when we dated and got married... I realize he works a lot and feels exhausted, but I do everything in the house and with the kids. When I say everything, I mean EVERYTHING.

My sex drive is low as well, so it doesn't bother me in non-TTC time lol. He is a year younger then me, 39. I wonder will he have any strength in less then a year when we TTC again.

For this failed sway I was giving him l-carnitine, l-arginine, zinc, CoQ-10, vit.E, Omega 3-6 and I probably forgot something. He is overweight, love sweets, rarely eats fruits and veggies, doesn't drink or smoke. No exercise except basketball for 1 hour once a week.

He doesn't cooperate in swaying

Your sex drive is probably low because you are tired with 3 little girls! I know I'm tired with three and while I am so anxious to add another to our brood, I know I'll be tired as well. I think parenting and being tired go hand in hand.

To answer your question, my DH is all for 1, 2, 3 more babies just like me, but then reality kicks in and we know having #4 will be a huge stretch and strain on us but he was easily convinced as he has always wanted a son. Being as old as I am and having DD1 be 13 already we need to close this chapter soon. This is our last chance. I have done mental gymnastics for months telling myself that even if its another girl, I will let go of gd and move on. Let's hope I really can do that if I have to!!

[Adia]

i dont think he is really happy about the whole idea but he si doing it cos he knows its what i want and thats why i so desperately want to give him the daughter he has always longed for.

We know what they want and we are trying to give it to them so its hard for them to say no, which is a good thing IMO!!! My DH is the same, always wanted a boy, I had DD1 with my exDH so when we had DD2 and DD3 I think he just gave up the dream, but not me!!! Here we go....O date this weekend!!

[Adia]

They are also more likely to say yes when the baby phase has finished and they've forgotten how hard it is (even though i do all the work he still moaned about the sleepless nights )

If its something that is that important to you (which from reading your posts you seem like me and the answer is yes) keep at it - you won't regret the kids you do have (especially having seen how gorgeous your girls are) but you may regret the one you don't have. Sending you all my blue baby dust, just in case x

My DH keeps complaining about the baby stage again too when I am the one up at night!!

I have to agree with your quote, if/when we have a DC4 we'll just make it work. We did the same thing when we had DD3 and we figure it out as we go.

Your due date is confusing, did you get prego in June 2012? Are you due in June 2013? Will you find out the gender asap? I hope its your girl!!

[Adia]

My husband said the same about having another, and then another - £, no holidays etc etc .... but I told him I don't want to be sad for the rest of my life, and have the ache that we didn't try a last time, and in time the money situation will get better. I guess his want for a daughter helped me sway his 'on the fence' and yoyo between yes/no. I also said, I can't work til the kids are much older, my youngest is only 16 months, so why not just have the last baby and then move on seeing as there will only be a year or 2 in it!! xx

My DH says the same too, but holidays are so short and hard when you kids are little anyways! I think the financial juggling just makes you get more creative, and when we do take expensive holidays when the kids are older, we'll appreciate it that much more!!

I agree, if you have a 4th child soon, DS3 will have a playmate and the baby phase will pass that much quicker!

While I really only wanted 3 kids, I feel the same as you, if I don't try one last time I'll regret it forever.

[Wanting-a-girl]

I honestly dont understand why they have much say...l I do all the baby stuff my baby is 21 months and he's never gotten up at night never made bottles never does ANYTHING around the house and then tries to tell me no about trying again! Before I got preg with Ezra (my youngest of three boys) I got my iud taken out in April in may before my o day I said I'm gonna ovulate any day and we are using no protection he didn't say much just said he doesn't want another but then he would have unprotected sex even tho I was ovulating.... I never tricked him I was very open and he did all he needed to do I got preg first try.... Now he is saying no to #4 and I told him about the sway and I'm preparing for it he says nothing he will have sex when he needs to and then just complain about not waning another.... I told him I am not living my life without the one thing that means the most to me why should I not get the one thing I want.... I am doing my sway first week of jan