Important BD question...

[1moregirl]

There's a big difference between BD at 2:30 am the morning of O Day vs. the next night.

I also got pregnant with roughly this timing - like 1 am the day before (really early on O Day but I hadn't slept yet so it felt like O-1 LOL) but NO ONE can tell what hour of they Oed. So your temps can show O on a particular day, and you may have BD that day, but it can still be many hours before O even occured.

Studies have shown better odds of conception when sperm is already inside VJ waiting for egg to arrive. All people are trying to explain is that odds of pregnancy when you wait and wait around to O FIRST before having sex, are much lower than from sex before O.

Im thinking I will just go with SMEP this time round and see what happens. We have already started the sex every other day thing (and we'll try for every 3rd or 4th day) - and then at the first pos OPK sex every day once a day for three days, skip 4th day and an extra on 5th day. I really just hope DH goes along with the program and cooperates! Lol! I only just got him on the OLE 2 days ago so I hope that gives things a good go as well. And I have been walking every day for at least an hour. A lady on a Facebook page I'm on said yesterday that if she was me she wouldn't risk her health trying again for a baby after the risky miscarriage I had last year. But other than that, I've had mostly positive and encouraging advice about it thank heavens. Sometimes I do feel guilty and selfish for wanting to try again after the miscarriage I went through last year.

[maidentomother]

I concieved my son 36 hr after a +opk so it was the DAY OF O for sure. It was the only BD that month as dh was away on business.

I was trying to do O+12 and had unsuccessful attempts at 48 hr after +opk, 44 hr after +opk, 40 hr after + opk...i just kept moving it up 4 hr every month until i caught the egg....

Got a boy though so O +12 isnt that great imho.

You can O 2, 3, 4 or more days after a positive OPK. It doesn't always happen the next day. OPKs cannot tell you exactly what day you Oed. Even temps can't do that with complete reliability.

[maidentomother]

I still disagree. I didn't waste a year of my fertile time either. I was charting and doing other things to prepare for my attempt. I got very lucky and DTD ON ovulation day and get a BFP the same cycle.
I have seen on here, IG and many many other sites where ladies have done shettles timing and only DTD on O day and conceived (yes, some had girls and some had boys) and I doubt all these people are lying.

But at the end of the day you have to do what is best for your situation. Everyone is allowed to believe and do what they want. Its just one of those things where you have to find what works best for you.

Until I see your chart or the charts of all those other supposed O day conceptions, I remain unconvinced. I highly doubt all those women were temping, and as I've said, even if they were, temps aren't foolproof. If they weren't temping, they can't know when they Oed with any accuracy. I don't think they were lying, though that is always possible, most likely they were just misinformed/ignorant as to the reality of how difficult it is to accurately pinpoint O. Very few women are aware of this fact. Also, are you completely sure that none of these women who supposedly conceived from O day BD didn't BD several days earlier, but thought that wasn't worth mentioning? Sperm can survive for a week or even longer. Conception from BD 4+ days before O is much more likely than from O day BD.

You should also read this thread I posted on this exact topic: http://genderdreaming.com/forum/2ww-...nfirmed-o.html

[atomic sagebrush]

And that's fine, you guys can absolutely do whatever sway tactics you want to. I even wrote a book for people who want to do timing for swaying even though I don't believe in it. But I am also allowed to chime in as a person who got opposites 4 of 5 times with Shettles and say that it's been debunked again and again and again in about every way you possibly can debunk something. I don't CARE if people want to start off doing timing. Your sway, your way. I care about keeping this site factual in the face of a kajillion other sites saying Shettles works, and thus I have to give the other side of the story whenever the topic comes up.

They aren't lying and I never said they were. But it has been shown in actual scientific studies involving hundreds of women and ovulation confirmed by blood tests and ultrasounds, that charting can be wrong A LOT even in highly trained experts. That is the reason why when charting for birth control you wait 3 DAYS after you think you ovulated to start having unprotected sex. It is because no one can pinpoint day of O with anything more than 1 in 3 chance or 2 in 3 chance if you use both temping/charting and also monitoring CM and CP. People can get close but 1 out of 3 days does NOT confirm day of O and certainly not hour of O. Do whatever sway tactics you want to do, absolutely, of course, but the facts are what they are. We see people on here all the time who have weird results with charting and OPK and symptoms that do not support the idea that these things are some kind of surefire thing for pinpointing the day or hour of ovulation. We're talking hundreds of people here.

MANY people actually have wasted a year out of their fertile window charting. IG suggests 6 months at the minimum (or they used to anyway) Maybe that wasn't what you did, but I've seen people do it, and some of those people then go on to have either opposites anyway, or struggles with fertility that are very hard on them. I know of people who swayed for 2 years only to get opposites, and also people who TTC using timing for 1-2 years (after taking several months to chart first) in their late 30's and then found that they couldn't get pregnant. Some of these ladies still do not have babies today. We are getting great results within 3 months' time without emphasizing timing and I feel it's a better way, not because I am a big mean bully but because I've seen too many people end up heartbroken with timing.

[atomic sagebrush]

I concieved my son 36 hr after a +opk so it was the DAY OF O for sure. It was the only BD that month as dh was away on business.

I was trying to do O+12 and had unsuccessful attempts at 48 hr after +opk, 44 hr after +opk, 40 hr after + opk...i just kept moving it up 4 hr every month until i caught the egg....

Got a boy though so O +12 isnt that great imho.

Even OPK aren't that reliable alone. If you had a delayed O it can happen that you get a pos OPK and then it takes 3 or 4 days, or you can release 2 eggs one a few hours after the other and hit only the second one.

Again, I'm not trying to quibble about when anyone Oed. In the words of Tommy Lee Jones in "The Fugitive" I don't care! I just am trying to keep things as factual as I can, which is that unless you have blood tests and/or ultrasounds to pinpoint ovulation, even people with a high level of training can't pinpoint the day that they ovulated, and studies involving blood tests and ultrasounds have shown this.

[1moregirl]

I tried to do O+12 last year in June when I did get a BFP and I struggled to pinpoint O and I don't believe it's possible without ultrasound and blood tests. I definitely don't believe we can pin it down to a precise hour. It's just too difficult to try and to attempt. Plus as Atomic has stated before, swaying is down to much more than just BD timing. There's diet and exercise and other things that can influence our hormones and all play a role. So I'm not going to wonder about what I did last time. This is a whole new attempt with a whole new approach so I'm just going to do SMEP, since DH is only agreeing to one cycle attempt and see what happens. If it happens wonderful....if it doesn't, it doesn't and at least I have our three beautiful children who will always be my babies no matter how big they become.

[MrsGoodies]

You can O 2, 3, 4 or more days after a positive OPK. It doesn't always happen the next day. OPKs cannot tell you exactly what day you Oed. Even temps can't do that with complete reliability.

I've had several u/s monitored IUI ..all natural with no hcg triggers and I always O at the 36 hr mark...every single time. I even came in early morning at 28-32hrs after first +OPK a few times because I was sure I already O and didnt want to miss the egg, so my poor dr would humor me and do an u/ s and say "see...your follicle is still there"... Then I would show up in the afternoon at the 36 -37 hr and the follicle would be collapsing or gone (@38 hr).

[MrsGoodies]

This is a whole new attempt with a whole new approach so I'm just going to do SMEP, since DH is only agreeing to one cycle attempt and see what happens. If it happens wonderful....if it doesn't, it doesn't and at least I have our three beautiful children who will always be my babies no matter how big they become.

Oh I really hope your DH enjoys the BD so much he agrees to more than 1 try....that's unfair to put so much pressure on you. I'd be crazy stressed out the whole time if my DH did that!

[1moregirl]

I know MtsGoodies, but I can understand it from his perspective as well. He'll be 46 next week and he just feels his age I think and worries about having young kids being older. Whereas I think differently about it and feel that having young kids when you are older helps keep you younger by keeping you fit and healthy. We do already have 3 children so if another baby doesn't happen for us, I can't be disappointed. I know there are plenty of others out there struggling for years and years just to conceive their first baby, so I am very blessed.

[maidentomother]

I've had several u/s monitored IUI ..all natural with no hcg triggers and I always O at the 36 hr mark...every single time. I even came in early morning at 28-32hrs after first +OPK a few times because I was sure I already O and didnt want to miss the egg, so my poor dr would humor me and do an u/ s and say "see...your follicle is still there"... Then I would show up in the afternoon at the 36 -37 hr and the follicle would be collapsing or gone (@38 hr).

I tend to O around 30 hours after my firdt positive, too. It is by far the most common pattern for me. But it's not ALWAYS the case, and I've had 71 monitored cycles. If you have only a frw, it may seem that you are very regular, and indeed you may be most of the time, but there are are always exceptions, we aren't machines! But I wasn't necessarily talking to you specifically, rather all women in general.