Only comfortable posting under Later Moms

[Traci25]

I'm 40 and 9 wks pregnant with my 4th. I'm waiting to take the test and pray it's healthy, I ttc girl. If it what you want go for it and best of luck!

[1moregirl]

I'm 40 and 9 wks pregnant with my 4th. I'm waiting to take the test and pray it's healthy, I ttc girl. If it what you want go for it and best of luck!

Thankyou Traci. I hope you get your girl Hun. Do you have three boys already? Good luck to you and I pray you have a cruisey healthy pregnancy.

[The Anchor]

Sorry to hear. There are more "private" forums but you need a dream membership. Lots of people don't post on the public forums at all.

[Traci25]

I have 1dd and 2 ds, my daughter has been begging for a sister for 5 years. I have always wanted 2 and 2 but want her to have a sister, it's such an amazing bond. Although I feel it's a boy and so nervous. Il love him too but I'm scared of gender disappointment. I know it's gods will. Are you going to go for it?! What's your sway plan? Il find out in a month! I swayed pretty hard hopefully it was enouhh

[1moregirl]

All my plans are rapidly disappearing down the loo right now. CD 15 today...BD last night and at the crucial moment DH pulled out. This then led to another argument and him saying he doesn't want another baby. I went to sleep laying on my tummy, just in case a few swimmers managed to stay inside me, with some silent tears sliding down my cheeks. I don't think me packing up and leaving with our three children would even make him change his mind, let alone bother him. How can a husband say he loves you but keep denying you one think you ask for? I know he has already given me three beautiful children and I am grateful for that, but I just need to have this one last try for one last girl. It may not even work? I could miscarry again or I may not even be able to get pregnant again,but I just need to try. But he doesn't understand. He can't see through his own selfish reasons, which are really excuses to me. Money, not enough room in the house, he lacks patience. I try to tell him subsequent babies don't cost any money until they get to school, by which time I will be back working. I think he believes I will never go back to work. He knew before we had our third baby (little boy) that I wanted to sway for a second little girl and that was 4 years ago. I really don't know what to do from here....just stuck in a rut. He thought he had agreed to 'one shot' as in, literally, one night with one BD - yet I really meant one cycle. Yet last cycle we had one BD at first pos OPK (unbeknownst to him thank heavens) and BFN. What do I do from here? I told him last night what if I say no to sex with condoms and he replied, no sex then. I feel such despair this morning, and heartache over this. Things had been so good between us lately as well. If only he never knew when I had my period, then it might all work out better. I don't know...

[Traci25]

I'm soo sorry. It's so hard when they are not on board. My sister experienced this, she wanted a third and her husband basically did the same thing. She decided to stop pushing it because she wanted to keep her marriage strong. And now 5 years later she's at peace with it. Have you had a heart to heart and told him how you feel, what emotions your experiencing?what is he's reasons for not having another? I wish I had brilliant advice for you maybe some other ladies have been there before. I hope your dream comes true!

I'm pregnant with my 4th and sometimes I wonder if I should've done it, is it going to be to hard? I'm super nervous and on edge. I never thought I'd be feeling this I wanted to ttc girl for so long. I just have a feeling it's a ds, il know in a month.

[MrsGoodies]

1 moregirl, i feel for you because i went thru the same thing. I wonder why its the spouse who wants more kids supposed to be the one to "give in"? That to me is just B.S. if your DH changes his mind in 10 yrs he can just go for it. But you have an expiration date.

I know people 60-70 yrs old who STILL wish had more children including my MIL...people don't regret kids they have.

In another post I told you what I told my DH when I had this argument and he came round in less than a week after pouting for a couple days. In the end his man-primal nature kicked in and he wanted HIS sperm offspring in the house ....lol.

[1moregirl]

1 moregirl, i feel for you because i went thru the same thing. I wonder why its the spouse who wants more kids supposed to be the one to "give in"? That to me is just B.S. if your DH changes his mind in 10 yrs he can just go for it. But you have an expiration date.

I know people 60-70 yrs old who STILL wish had more children including my MIL...people don't regret kids they have.

In another post I told you what I told my DH when I had this argument and he came round in less than a week after pouting for a couple days. In the end his man-primal nature kicked in and he wanted HIS sperm offspring in the house ....lol.

Thanks Hun. Yes I just read your other post. Good on you! I feel exactly the same as you. Why should we women have to forfeit our desire to have another baby when our husbands don't want another? It is total BS to me too. We are the ones who carry them for 9 months, have the pain of labour and birth, and the ones who are on call for the Bub 24/7 for the first few years (and I'm not complaining about any of those things as I have loved every single minute of doing these 3 times over now). I'm not saying men are just sperm donors, but all the hard work is really down to us.

My DH knows when I have my period because he probably sees the used napkins in the bin in our ensuite and when he gives me cuddles he touches my bum and feels the napkin. How can I hide that now? Maybe I should use tampons or my soft cup or just be more discreet so he doesn't find out? I just have a hard time getting him to BD without a condom. And if I said to him, 'if you're going to use condoms, then no sex' he will stick to his guns and not have sex because we are both as stubborn as each other. I have also felt soooo desperate I'd thought of putting holes in the condoms but then I would feel guilty and worried that he would find out. I just don't know why he can't suck it up and give in to keep the peace and make me happy. All I want is to try for a couple of months and if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen and I will accept that. I'm not asking him to go to IVF because I definitely want a baby out of it, and we have three children already and can't afford IVF anyway...you see what I mean? I was soooo disappointed last cycle when I got a BFN because I actually got him to BD the night of my first pos OPK without a condom, but nothing.....that was all it took last year too...one shot without a condom and bingo. He wasn't happy at first for a few days, but eventually he came round and he was excited about it. So the last time I was completely, blissfully 100% happy was last year on 17th August at our little boy's 3 Rd birthday party, because I was pregnant (9 weeks on that day) and things were good between DH and I. Then a week later it was all over. I had done a strict girl sway as well and was convinced I was getting my second little girl. I just wanted one more shot but I don't think DH gets it. Sorry for rambling and venting.

[squigglepink]

Hi..

Has your DH put his foot down though? As in, categorically NO MORE?! Because although he seems reluctant it doesn't sound like he's adamant but rather a bit scared. Im very sorry for your previous loss. Perhaps he is slightly tainted by that and is erring on the side of caution. Perhaps you can tell him that you feel someone is missing in your family.. because that is how i feel. I lost one at 3 months pregnant in between my boys.. and for some reason, that feeling of someone i have not met yet has never left me.. i guess what works in my favour, with my DH, is that we dont have a DD, so we have a 50/50 chance of one, which i think is why my DH is sort of ok to try for one.. But let me tell you, he is not exactly jumping for joy.. he is worried that we could end up with 3 boys, when we are already happy with 2 gorgeous ones and also the money for 3 kids. I know if i said im done, and im content, my DH would support that and be totally fine with things as we are.
There are moments when my DH is overwhelmed with the chaos our two boys bring and he takes one look at me and says, how would we manage 3? And im sure its those moments when he is thankful we only have two kids!
Im sure your DH will come around again, especially as he was willing to do it before - even though it was a 'one shot'!
He wont be able to go without sex for long either even if he is stubborn!!
Wishing you all the best and i have faith you will get your one last time baby xx

[MrsGoodies]

My DH knows when I have my period because he probably sees the used napkins in the bin in our ensuite and when he gives me cuddles he touches my bum and feels the napkin. How can I hide that now? Maybe I should use tampons or my soft cup or just be more discreet so he doesn't find out? I just have a hard time getting him to BD without a condom. And if I said to him, 'if you're going to use condoms, then no sex' he will stick to his guns and not have sex because we are both as stubborn as each other. I have also felt soooo desperate I'd thought of putting holes in the condoms but then I would feel guilty and worried that he would find out. I just don't know why he can't suck it up and give in to keep the peace and make me happy. All I want is to try

As for feeling guilty...HE should feel guilty for lying and getting your hopes up. In the bible Tamar was promised a baby and waited for years...then finally dressed up like a prostitute so she could trick Judah into conceiving. Judah found out she was pregnant he called what she did righteous because he had reniged on his promise to give her offspring.