FF chart question

[atomic sagebrush]

Ah yes I have that same 3 year old LOL. o.O

I know it sucks though. All you can do is be that Little Engine That Could and keep showing up when you can in case Goldie arrives.

[1moregirl]

I had really super cold feet this morning and was very anxious about s few things going on and found myself hoping I'm not pregnant this time and that maybe I should let go completely of the idea. It worries me a lot...the possibility of another horrendous miscarriage like last time, or conceiving a baby with defects or health issues. I just don't know if I'm emotionally strong enough to go there. I almost cancelled my appointment tomorrow with the FS, but I decided to keep it and go just in case. If there was/is a problem, then I would at least like to know what it is, even if I do decide that I don't want to conceive again. Does this all make sense? I think it comes from an incident that happened on the weekend when DH lost it with our 7 yr old in a way that he never has before and it made me think maybe I'm really not being fair to DH trying to conceive again. Anyway, that's where I'm at right now. Will you keep you posted.

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes that totally makes sense to me!! I think it's only natural to have those thoughts and yes do keep us posted.

[1moregirl]

Appointment done and dusted. He was very lovely and positive. He said for my age my AMH level was 'very good' and all hormone levels look fine. He did a quick scan of everything and said my uterus looked good and lining nice and thick (looks good for 9DPO or could be a fresh pregnancy underway). He said they could help me via having a hysteroscopy and scraping bit of lining away (hence getting rid of any possible scar tissue, which he said could be a possibility given the nasty miscarriage that I had). He also said another option was IUI after being given meds to induce O. I am nervous about the thought of a hysteroscopy as last two times I have had surgery (gallbladder removal and D&C) I had trouble breathing for a little while after coming out of the anaesthetic. I'm not sure why he didn't recommend testing DH's semen prior to the drastic measure of a hysteroscopy? Wouldn't that be a relevant step to take prior to a hysteroscopy? I don't know. Anyway, that's where I'm at. my BBT jumped to 36.92 this morning and I have had some EWCM this morning when I went to the toilet...but I'm NOT symptom spotting and I'm dfinitely NOT doing any POAS just yet. He also said there is every possibility of me being able to conceive and he has had quite a few patients my age (44) who have conceived and given birth to healthy babies using their own eggs and no meds so that's promising too. Now I'm thinking how wonderful it would be if I was pregnant this time round and didn't have to take any other measures in order to conceive. We'll see I guess....

[MrsGoodies]

I am so glad your appointment went well.

[purple]

He probably didn't suggest a SA for your DH since he has shown he can get you pregnant 4 times. It also depends what the FS is like. My first one insisted on another SA for DH when we went back again when ttc #2 but my current FS says we don't need to worry about it as I have conceived several times now.

I have been offered the option of having a hysteroscopy too but I didn't want to do anything that invasive. It is a personal choice though so if it gives you peace of mind then it may help.

What meds did he suggest for you to try? Would your DH be cooperative enough for a IUI?

[1moregirl]

I just don't know where to go from here really. I don't feel keen to do the IUI and I sincerely doubt that DH would even agree to that, since I have a hard enough time getting him to agree to damn near anything really. I would be pushing just to get a SA from him. He didn't suggest any medications for me since my hormones are all good and I am ovulating regularly. I am feeling that before I agreed to have a hysteroscopy I would get DH to have a SA first. What if I went through all the trouble of having a hysteroscopy and then still couldn't conceive because DH had too low a sperm count, for example? He also told me that there was nothing you can take or do to improve egg quality (ubiquinol - he said it doesn't help). Anyway, it's all given me something to think about. And I need to read up on hysteroscopies because, even though he did explain it, I need to just read about it again. Any sort of surgery is not something I jump into straight away that's for sure.

[atomic sagebrush]

I think he was trying to alleviate your concern with the offer of the hysteroscopy. It is not medically indicated IMO and I think it's a step in the wrong direction to have another medical procedure (with the risks inherent in that) without a positive diagnosis that anything is even going on.

I would really, really hesitate before having another invasive procedure done without a solid reason to.

Great news that your tests were so encouraging.

[1moregirl]

Thanks Atomic. Do you think maybe I should get DH to have a SA done somehow? Even just for peace of mind? I still have this nagging thing in the back of my mind suggesting that he could've gotten a vasectomy done while he was overseas last year in September. He was there for 6 weeks after I'd had miscarriage as one of his parents was unwell. And at my Ob app after my miscarriage he had had the audacity to bring up vasectomy (I was soooo angry as that app was meant to be about me and the miscarriage) and my Ob had told him he should not be talking about or booking any appointments for a vasectomy when me (his wife) was against it. What if he had had it done whilst he was away and was just keeping it from me? That is another reason for the SA. If all is ok with his sperm, then I will fully accept that it is me and my eggs that is the issue. I hope I don't sound like a paranoid idiot. And I'm pretty sure I'm out for pregnancy this time as my BBt dropped again this morning. Not below the coverline but it is def looking too mountainy to be a BFP chart. Otherwise maybe I am just not ovulating any where near where I am getting positive OPKs. I just don't understand how I can go from getting pregnant first try just less than a year ago to having 4 tries now and still no BFP. And I've even been taking the ubiquinol as well which is meant to help and I wasn't taking that last year. So what the hell...? I just don't understand and I feel sooo bitterly disappointed, which I know is ridiculous and selfish since there are others out there who are in this position but have never known the joy of having one child let alone three like myself. I know how lucky I am, believe me, but it is just disappointing when you have had a taste of what it would be like to be pregnant again and have another child (like I did last year in June) and then lose that and not be able to have it back again. My little girl said to me just the other day, "I want that baby back that died in your tummy last year Mummy." And it brought tears to my eyes. And I'm going through it without my DH's support. I'm starting to wonder if maybe The kids and I would be better off without him. Sorry for my rant. I'm crying as I type this as well. AF must be on her ugly bitchy way as I have felt a bit cranky and emotional today. FF marked out timing as 'high' chance for success this cycle (instead of the usual low) and nothing...no BFP once again. We BD nearly every day of my fertile window this last time (except for one day) and I thought that would nail it.

[purple]

I think you would struggle to get him to agree to a SA so I wouldn't push it in your situation. He has a good record for conception so he is probably ok.

If he had got a vasectomy without your knowledge then he probably wouldn't be worried about using condoms.

I'm sorry your little girl was sad about the baby. I have kept it from my boys as I was waiting until I knew everything was ok, plus I didn't trust them not to blurt it out! My youngest still talks about the cat that died when he was 2 so it is strange what they remember and when they randomly bring it up again.

I technically got pregnant first try with DS1 but it took 10 cycles for DS2 and I'm again on cycle 10. DH had excellent SA results too. Unfortunately it is something that just takes time.