FF chart question

[MrsGoodies]

No SA needed.

Simply Check out his testicles for two small scars or one bigger scar down the middle. Then you will know.

Sometimes scars are tricky to see if there us a lot of hair though.

[MrsGoodies]

Another thing you can do is get a microscope and check the ejaculate after BD. use a non spermicdal condom. They will be alive for a couple hrs at room temp. Even dead sperm show up on slides (i know when i was using TBM and once used too much lime and killed them all).

If no sperm seen at all, then ask him straight out.

[1moregirl]

I think you would struggle to get him to agree to a SA so I wouldn't push it in your situation. He has a good record for conception so he is probably ok.

If he had got a vasectomy without your knowledge then he probably wouldn't be worried about using condoms.

I'm sorry your little girl was sad about the baby. I have kept it from my boys as I was waiting until I knew everything was ok, plus I didn't trust them not to blurt it out! My youngest still talks about the cat that died when he was 2 so it is strange what they remember and when they randomly bring it up again.

I technically got pregnant first try with DS1 but it took 10 cycles for DS2 and I'm again on cycle 10. DH had excellent SA results too. Unfortunately it is something that just takes time.

Thanks Purple. Yes you are probably right about DH. I'm now a bit worried though because I'm only 10DPO today and this afternoon I have had light spotting and light cramping. Surely it's too early for AF to arrive. it has never arrived this early before. What a pain! Unless maybe I Oed earlier than I thought and what FF predicted. I wonder if it is possible to O before you get your positive OPKs? I don't know. I know it's nothing like implantation because my chart is looking too up and down and I've never had implantation spotting or dips before. I'm starting to think of discontinuing the BBT or maybe just doing it around O time and that's all because I seem to be too analytical of it during the 2WW.

[purple]

I had some cramping and spotting at 10dpo for my last BFP which I hadn't had before so sometimes it happens or sometimes it is just AF on the way.

[atomic sagebrush]

I think that pushing DH to do ANYTHING beyond what has already transpired is a major mistake and I do not recommend you pursue it.

Yes, he could have had a vasectomy while away. He could have also lost fertility completely innocently in the same time frame due to circumstances that are completely out of his control. IT DOESN'T MATTER. Pushing him to get a sperm analysis gains you nothing. I completely agree with purple here that if he'd had a secret vasectomy he would be absolutely humoring you in every way for TTC. He'd be all like "yeah sure honey, let's make a baby" and be having unprotected sex all the time with you since he'd know it was safe.

It takes fully fertile people doing everything to conceive, 3-6 months on average. If you've gotten pregnant easier than that in the past, chalk that up to good luck then, not bad luck now.

I'm going to speak to you from the heart now as someone who has been in a similar position and I really really do have sympathy. If your husband is a good provider, treats you well in most cases, and the children well, if you're happy with your life as it is, your home, your situation, and you would blow up your family over this issue - I humbly submit you may need to reassess your position here. Some of us are in similar situations except our husbands aren't and don't do those other things too and we also don't have daughters (I really hesitate to bring this up because I completely understand you can still have very severe GD for additional daughters, but still). I think you need to take a step back and count your blessings because you may not be seeing the forest for the trees any more. I mean this with a lot of sympathy and kindness intended. I'm not saying you're wrong, or that you shouldn't grab life by the balls and squeeze till it gives up everything you want, but take a moment to consider the costs that you would inflict upon everyone involved, that's all.

[MrsGoodies]

Hey atomic,

When you said you were in a simiar position as 1moregirl and could sympathize, what did you mean?

Was it ttc your first girl (which it looks like your DH finaly agreed)

or have you been wanting to ttc a sister for her but our DH refuse so you drop it?

Thank you

[1moregirl]

DH has agreed to do a SA. I just said I need to know whether it was my faulty ageing eggs or a fault with his sperm that caused the miscarriage last year, so that I can fully accept it and move on. Obviously he hasn't had a vasectomy. I did get my period yesterday and it's in full swing today so it certainly wasn't implantation bleeding. But because period showed up at 10DPO I am questioning when I actually did O. Is it possible I Oed before I got my two positive OPKs do you think? FF didn't mark solid cross lines this time to indicate O either. They were broken lines. Anyway, I am going to try fertility massage I think and keep just cruising along trying for a few months and see what happens. I am no longer going to think of it as the be all and end all. What will be will be. I'm even thinking of quitting BBTing and just use the OPK tests and just BD merrily along every second day and see what how it goes. I'm not that keen on the hysteroscopy idea and feel I should give things a bit longer naturally first. Atomic - I didn't take offence at any of your advice as I totally understand what you're saying. I am going to take a step back and just be more relaxed about this now instead of letting it consume me and take over my life. To be honest, I had even thought of buying a plan from you so I can properly stick to a girl fertility diet as I have been terrible lately with diet. I find when I am more relaxed I eat really well and cannot do without snacks, yet when I am a bit anxious I eat less and can easily go without breakfast and snacks. Anyway, that's what I'm thinking right now. Thanks for hanging in there with me ladies and giving me constant support and advice. A friend said to me not long ago, "God never gives you more than you can handle." I don't know how true this is but maybe it isn't in his plan to give us a 4th child and that's fine. I'll be ok with that.

[atomic sagebrush]

Hey atomic,

When you said you were in a simiar position as 1moregirl and could sympathize, what did you mean?

Was it ttc your first girl (which it looks like your DH finaly agreed)

or have you been wanting to ttc a sister for her but our DH refuse so you drop it?

Thank you

AA omg sorry he walked in right in the middle of this! I'm going to delete this after a couple days.

To put this in perspective a little, DH agreed before we were even married, that we would have 5 or 6 kids. I was a functional only child (my half-sibs are way younger and I have no full bio siblings) and I HATED it. I love kids and wanted to be surrounded by them. Then, we had our first two and he made several decisions that made it all but impossible for us to continue having kids and I mostly gave up the idea because of these decisions, even though I did still crave more kids (boy or girl) and I sacrificed a lot for him to pursue a dream of his. Then after 11 years he agreed to more kids. I had to go back to work for 2 years to get us in a situation financially that this could happen and this was not pleasant work, it was in a dog kennel, outdoors in winter and summer and very hard work. So it wasn't like a huge favor he was doing me, it was something that had been promised to begin with and had worked to make happen.

We had the 4 boys and DH was done. He was never super into our first two boys as they aren't rough and tumble guys or into sports, and he was THRILLED to have another boy (I think he had a weird kind of GD for more boys). After the boys came, I still wanted to try one more time for DD since only mostly after getting pregnant with DS 4 did I really start to put it all together with my research how to do it. I decided I'd fiddle around with swaying and then I'd be ready if he changed his mind. He had no interest, he claimed the reason was because he was worried about my health and a baby's health. But despite this he just kept occasionally showing up and TTC unprotected. I did not stop him and secretly hoped I would get pregnant (it seemed a very long shot given my age 41) At the same time, my marriage was not doing very well at all (as many know his dad was dying and he had a hard time with it, not his fault of course, but not mine either). I suspected pretty strongly that we would not be married much longer. While I knew fully it could cost me my marriage if I got pregnant without DH's strict blessing, I decided not to rock the boat and confront him about what our plan really was, here, in hopes that he kept occasionally TTC unprotected, but that is because I thought my marriage was ending either way and I figured I'd rather come out of it with a baby and no husband than no baby and no husband (even if a boy). I really, truly did not think I would conceive without actively trying though, and if I did, I felt sure I'd have a miscarriage. Had I truly known in my heart and gut that I would actually get successfully pregnant I would not have done so without his blessing. I did get pregnant much to my surprise and while it has strained our marriage a lot, at least I have her. But that was in a bad situation with a marriage that was on the rocks anyway and I was willing to take the chance to keep the dream alive.

[MrsGoodies]

Thank you for your story Atomic. I'm so glad it worked out! I'm sure you admire your sweet baby girl every day and are thankful you didnt give up.

Ita that a baby wth no husband is better than no baby no husband. Good for you! Were you just dong the LE diet while hoping to ttc unprotected?

My dh was very strict with the condoms right after the miscarriage but lately he is a bit absentminded. I guess a few months seems like forever ago. I hope he gets some bad amnesia this month

[1moregirl]

It's nice to know there are a few of us in similar positiions. My DH has his slip for the SA so we will have to get onto that tonight...we'll get Bd or have him release and then release in 2 days time to get the fresh sample to deliver for analysis. I have got the feeling it is me and my eggs that's the issue, but at least this will put my mind at rest and I will know for sure. I will keep trying then for a few months before I even consider a surgical option. I'm even thinking maybe I didn't even O this last cycle since my BBTs were strange and my LP just on 10 days. Who knows? Am going to try the SMEP plan for older Mums from now on with BD every 2 or 3 days plus some goes around pos OPK time (except there was a bit of a diff for older Mums and Das around pos OPK time with SMEP so I must read up on that again). I haven't been taking my ubiquinol either but I doubt that would muck up my chart. Must buy some more.