1st M/C after 1st pink sway attempt :(

[mrs_danielle_riley]

I hate that so many of us have been through a M/C, but reading all of your stories has helped me to cope with mine. I wanted to share my loss story in hopes that it will help others, and help myself grieve as well.

First, a little background. We have one DS, almost 3 now, and were wanting to add a baby to our family. While PG with DS1, they found a large cyst on my left ovary @ 20 weeks, and I had to have the ovary removed at 21 weeks. It was a rough pregnancy from there on, but we both came out healthy in the end.

It only took us one month to conceive our DS, but with only having one ovary the second go around, my obgyn said it would probably take longer. Hard to keep track of how many months it took since we decided almost a year ago to start, but took almost a year total going through 3 different sway methods. 3 months shettles, 4 months IG, 3 months GD, but did not attempt every month.

We wanted to sway pink in hope for a balanced family, and like so many of you have said, to have the best of both worlds. I purchased a personalized sway here and got PG in Oct. 2012. We DTD on a Sunday night, after getting my +OPK that morning. On Friday, I was unbelievably sick. About 2 weeks later, I noticed my hormones were all over the place, I started having abdominal cramping, and brownish discharge. I thought I would get my period soon, but wanted to take a PG test to see. Almost exactly 2 weeks after attempt, it was neg. I waited 5 more days, and still no period, so took another PG test that said pos.

I contiued to have abdominal cramping and brownish discharge/CM until I started bleeding 1 day before M/C. My doctor continually told me this was normal for some women, but I just felt like something was wrong. My friends and family have said it was mother's intuition. Doesn't make it any easier though. My doctor also told me that she would not rely on a sonogram before 8 weeks, and couldn't tell me anything about the pregnancy before that. So we waited...

One day before my 8 week appointment and 1st U/S, I started bleeding. Heavier than light, but not enough I would call moderate. I called the on-call doctor for the group, and she advised me to take it easy that day and try to make it to my appointment the next day. If the bleeding got heavier, be ready to go to the ER. The bleeding only go slightly worse over the next 24 hours, and I was able to make it to my scheduled appointment.

I should've been 8 weeks PG and was only measuring @ 6 weeks, and there was no heartbeat, but it was in the uterus. My doctor was fairly confident I would M/C and tried to warn me for what was ahead. About 3 hours after my appointment, the M/C started. It lasted about 6 hours, and I have said was the most horrible day of my life next to the day my mother passed away.

The bleeding I did not think was very bad, but perhaps I was just expecting that. What I was not expecting was the pain. I was expecting cramping, like during a period. For me, it was more like labor contractions. After all, that's what your body is doing. I fought drugs as long as I could, and after about 5 1/2 hours, the pains subsided. I called the doctor, and she told me to take 2 Advil and either take a warm shower or use a heating pad on my abdomine/lower back to take the edge off and help my body complete the M/C.

I opted for the shower since I felt all gross and hoped it would make me feel better. I put a small stool in there to sit on since I felt shakey, and was just very ready to be done with what I was going through. I figured at this point I would still need to pass the placenta, I just wish my brain had figured that out before I did it. I passed it while still in the shower. I had to get TP to pick it up and flush it. That image will haunt me for the rest of my life!

I took the next day off work of course and just rested. I had already told people at work I was pregnant, b/c I had had morning sickness and just couldn't hide it nor miss work. It was terrible having to tell everyone the bad news. I hadn't told my family I was pregnant yet, and my Grandmother was visiting us when I had my M/C, and that was how I had to tell her.

Yes, it was a horrible experience I wish for no one. But trying to find that silver lining, DH and I feel that if it happened, it happened in the best way we could have asked for. There was probably never a heartbeat and I was only 8 weeks along, we were able to see the dr before the M/C, my Grandmother was in town and able to take care of DS so DH could take care of me during M/C, I didn't have to go to the ER, I didn't have to have a D&C (at least not yet)...so many things that in a time of tragedy I am thankful for, it could've been much worse.

Thank you for reading my story, and I apologize for the lengthiness of it, but I just had to get it all out there. We will try again, probably asap, which according to dr is after 2 reg periods. We have not decided if we will sway pink again yet, but I will continue to hang around GD. You are the best group of ladies on the people, and I am so glad I found this place!

[LacePrincess]

Omigosh I'm so sorry to read about your loss. Prayers to you and your family.

I hope you can try again asap, and m/c do seem to sway pink so FX for you!

[Mbmk]

I'm so sorry for your loss - be kind to yourself x

[The Anchor]

I'm so sorry Danielle...I know it's so hard. I lost bub at 12 weeks in October. It was really traumatizing for me, although I acted like a pretty tough cookie to the outside world. We hadn't told many people, but the ones that knew were so great. And honestly, although it's awful, I've had good friends who have lost babies at 6 and 8 months gestation, one friend had a stillbirth, and two friends who lost bubs before they turned a year, and I just think although I think I'm tough, how HORRIBLE that would be and I'm glad it wasn't me. HUGS, let me know if you'd like to chat.

[Wishing4Princess]

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I know a couple of friends, including my own mother and female relatives who have had M/C. they say it's a really tough journey, physically, but more emotionally. I really hope for the best for the future for you!.

I'm 4 wks pregnant. but I don't feel pregnant. some days I will have bad cramping, like contractions and 'balling up' of my abdomin, and the twinges and itches on my stomach w/ period like cramping. I dont have any MS yet either. it's nothing like my other pregnancies. for some reason I don't feel like it's normal, which scares me a bit. does it always start w/ bleeding etc?. THanks.

[The Anchor]

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I know a couple of friends, including my own mother and female relatives who have had M/C. they say it's a really tough journey, physically, but more emotionally. I really hope for the best for the future for you!.

I'm 4 wks pregnant. but I don't feel pregnant. some days I will have bad cramping, like contractions and 'balling up' of my abdomin, and the twinges and itches on my stomach w/ period like cramping. I dont have any MS yet either. it's nothing like my other pregnancies. for some reason I don't feel like it's normal, which scares me a bit. does it always start w/ bleeding etc?. THanks.

The cramping is completely normal! Not that I'm saying this is you...but I noticed it last pregnancy and realized I'd never noticed it in my two previous pregnancies...because I wasn't looking for it!

Yes, bleeding can be a sign of miscarriage, but not always. And 4 weeks pregnant is VERY early on...I've always found that my first u/s really puts my mind at ease, do you have one scheduled?

[Wishing4Princess]

thanks, Anchor! its a bit different this pregnancy. i have had mild cramping w/ previous pregnancies, but this one is a bit stronger. I didn't schedule an ultrasound appt, b/c the last 2 pregnancies that I went for prenatal appt at 6-8 wks, the obgyn said she barely saw something, meaning it could be an ectopic pregnancy and that I should come in for later appt. I forget what stage we can hear the heartbeat?

[The Anchor]

With an u/s a heartbeat can be detected at 7 - 8 weeks. With a doppler, anywhere from 9 on...but 9 weeks is early, I know other ladies have heard it then, for DS I was 11 weeks before h/b was detected by doppler (and I didn't get an early u/s for him).

[Mum23boys]

Oh hunny Im so sorry for yout loss - we too got a +pregnancy test in September 2012 but sadly on my husbands birthday when i did another test it had faded and a day later the mc started and i too suffered terrible pains but also heavy bleeding that kept me bed ridden for 2 hours.
I am now pregnant again 2 attempts later so my fx are firmly crossed that you find yourself in the same boat as me soon.
Good luck

[mrs_danielle_riley]

Thank you everyone!
Anchor, I may want to chat with you sometime. I know what you mean about being a tough cookie. And my hormone levels are all over the place. Some days I'm fine and other days I'm just a mess. Figure this is normal. And I still have a good bit of tissue left over and will go back a week from Monday for another check, and may wind up having to have a d&c anyway. I also know people who have had it worse than me, and thankful as well.
Mum23Boys, I have been following you for a while now, and will keep up with you through all this! Hope your bean's a pink one, and congrats to you! Can't wait to find out if you get your princess, and yes, I hope I will find myself in that boat with you soon as well.