first loss, broken heart

[fresas]

Oh my gosh, what tragedy. I am so, so sorry.

[KnockYourBallsOff]

I'm so sorry. I know how hard it is. Please don't be crippled by fear. Don't let it win. Praying for you!

[fresas]

A friend of mine just told me she is due November 9, which is 2 days after I was supposed to be due. She is ecstatic and cannot stop talking about it.

I am happy for her, but I feel she is being kind of insensitive by constantly telling me how she is craving this, gaining weight, sore boobs, etc, etc. She knows I was due around the same time, too. I blocked her on my FB page and am keeping my distance. I think while she should not hide her excitement (it is her first), she should stop giving me play by plays. There are other people she can talk to like this. It feels like she is punching me in the ribs every time she does this.

[rainbowflower]

oh, that's sad that she is flaunting it like that.. perhaps tell her? I think often those who have never experienced a loss don't "get" it, don't understand that even though the baby was only with us for a while we already had dreams and hopes and had imagined our lives adjusting to fit them in. I'm sure if she knew how it felt she would be more sensitive. Could someone have a word with her on your behalf?

[indigoviolet]

That is so insensitive of her. Sometimes people just get caught up in their own happiness and just don't think. I had a close friend who was due almost the same day as me (I lost my first at 12 weeks) and it was really hard seeing her and watching her pg progressing. It was a really hard time but I got through it and you will too. It will happen for you again and you will be wonderfully blessed ((hugs))

[fresas]

Thank you, ladies. She actually had a loss herself so I'm not sure where all this is coming from (maybe I put on too good of a happy face), but I talked to her and she understood.

However, another friend of mine just told me she is due in December and I couldn't help feeling a little bit jealous again.

[Butterfly Spirit]

I'm so very sorry for your loss. I just can't imagine!

Fresas, I said this in March, and now here I am in your shoes, and lost my baby at the exact same time. It's just HORRiBLE! I want my baby back! :'(
I'm so sad, and angry, and I feel so lost.
Could I ask you about your experience here or pm you? How long did it take to get your hcg down, when did you and DH baby dance again, when did you get your + OPK and AF?
Again, you can answer here or in pm. I'd really appreciate it! Thank you.

[fresas]

Oh my gosh, I am so sorry. It hurts so much. All of your feelings are totally normal. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

I still cry. I don't cry as much, but I still do. I think it's just how I have to grieve and let out my emotion. Everyone processes things differently, but my best advice is give yourself time and as much patience as you can to grieve.

My hCG dropped pretty quickly. We had a weird moment where it rose on the 3rd blood draw and they were concerned it was ectopic, but the ultrasound showed it wasn't. I think I had a total of 7 blood draws, but the hCG was zero by the 6th blood draw...so that was roughly 2 weeks in total, but the hCG was zero by about 1.5 weeks later.

I decided not to do OPK that cycle, but I ovulated about 13 days after I miscarried. I had a temperature shift, discharge, and everything. I didn't check my CP that cycle either, but all other symptoms indicated ovulation. My luteal phase was longer, but I had a period about 32 days after the miscarriage.

We DTD about 3 weeks after the miscarriage. We were definitely trying to avoid conceiving. The first time we DTD after the miscarriage, I cried and my husband was really sad. It wasn't terrible sex, but our minds were just not in the moment and our hearts were still heavy, if that makes sense.

[fresas]

DH just burst out crying two nights ago pretty randomly. He said he missed the baby.

We found out yesterday 3 of our friends (due just a few weeks after us) are all having healthy girls.

Dealing with this has become easier, but there are moments and days that are just brutal.

[BeadinMom]

Fresas, I am so incredibly sorry...keeping you and your dear husband in my thoughts and prayers...♥