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November 2nd, 2012, 11:22 AM #1
If you have kids very close together in age...
Did you plan it that way or was it an oops? How has it been and do you regret having kids so close together? What are some of the good, the bad, and the ugly?
I know I might be crazy thinking about this at 16 weeks preggo, but if we are going to have a 4th, then I want to have 3 and 4 close together and then be done with pregnancies for good!(8) (6) (2) (1)
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November 2nd, 2012, 11:25 AM #2
Honestly if I were to do it again I would've waited a bit. But this is coming from someone who had a two and a half year old when the twins came and a dh (at the time) who didn't help much. I think a 3 1/2 year span at least would've been better. It's great now of course but in the beginning it was rough. But they will be best buddies I'm sure! My sis got pregnant when her son was 5 months. They are now 4 and 5 and connected at the hip!
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November 2nd, 2012, 11:31 AM #3
NC my 2nd, 3rd and 4th are all less than two years apart. My 1st and 2nd would've been 2 years apart, but I had a mc in between. In my experience, having them close has been fantastic. It's a bit hectic at times, but you get used to that in no time. My 4th and 5th will also be less than 2 years apart. Let the craziness continue...lol.
(9) (6) (5) (3) (1)
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November 2nd, 2012, 11:36 AM #4
Well there is 16 mos between DS2 and DD, and I honestly believe that my maternal condition, just having recovered from having DS2 also helped my sway with DD. My body really wasn't *ready* for another pregnancy yet, and I think because he was almost 8 mos, still 7 mos when she was concieved helped make her a girl...
but the reality of it for me is tough. I'm kind of a laid back parenting type, and DS2 is such a baby himself sometimes (throws tantrums, still can't really talk, tho he does babble all the time and he can answer simple questions, he's not potty trained yet) I have found it hard at the moment, but I think as he gets older and DD gets a bit older, and as we get used to our third addition, I think it will be perfectly fine.
I do not regret it for a single second. DD is here and she was meant to be here,and I'm glad it worked out this way. DS2 is already so protective and loving over her and he always says "sis, sis" and tries to hug her all the time. It is such a sweet thing.
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November 2nd, 2012, 12:07 PM #5
Nc,
I have two boys 17 months apart and yes they were planned. I would have to say that the first couple months were tough but not that bad. I honestly would do it again in a heartbeat. I had bad gd with ds2 since I really only wanted two kids and obviously dreamed of having a daughter! I can tell you that god was right, I needed another boy and he is just wonderful! I see my boys together now and they are so close, best friends! I remember telling god that there better be a good reason that he gave me another boy and well he was right. I am so glad that I had them this close and everyday is gets easier. To be honest now the younger one is my troublemaker when it was the other way before. Now it may depend on the kiddos personality and how independent they are, but it wasnt that bad having them close. And now more than I ever I am so glad that It turned out this way.
Oh and must I add my three year old , eldest still doesn't talk so I have obstacles that most parents may not deal with. He says maybe 100 words or less and is starting school soon but sometimes life can be frustrating but we deal quite well. I guess I'm more laid back but I also expected this since it genetically is on both sides( the lack of speech until an older age). Best wishes and just to add your sway was awesome and that little boy must have been meant to be. I have a feeling I will be in the same boat but unlike you my third is my last.
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November 2nd, 2012, 01:17 PM #6
I love hearing all your stories! DS1 and DS2 are 2 yrs & 1 month apart and for the most part they are really close but they fight A LOT!!! I think a lot comes from frustration. DS2 is almost 3 and he gets frustrated b/c he can't really vocalize what is wrong all the time. DS1 gets frustrated b/c he wants DS2 to play with him more and do more and the little guy just doesn't understand all that now. They share a room and they really do love and depend on each other.
If we start TTC in December, that will mean DS3 and #4 could be 17 months apart or more. So, I guess that isn't too bad!
My BFF from back home's family looks like this - Born March 78', Born April 79', Born May 80', Born August 81'......how in the world it ended up that way...I will never know! It was BGBG too..no BF'ing involved! It was so much fun being at her house though. We have been BFFs since I was 9 yrs old and the closeness of all of them is something I strive for and hope I can have with my family! It makes me REALLY excited about having a 4th! Maybe that is why little Brady Eli came to us...so we wouldn't stop at 3!(8) (6) (2) (1)
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November 2nd, 2012, 01:36 PM #7
Crazy or not, lol, that's how I felt too, when I found out DS3 was a boy (failed sway) at around 16 weeks! We had only planned on having 3 kids, but I started thinking about a 4th then. I decided to go HT though, so I had to wait until I was completely done bfing to start, so #3 and 4 will be about 2 years apart anyway. I had thought to space them even closer as I'm so ready to be done with pregnancies too, but wasn't ready to wean DS3 as quickly as I thought I would be... but if you're swaying and it works in your favor anyway, then why not?
2006, 2008, 2011, HT 2012
Cycle #1 @ HRC, March 2012: Pretesting FSH 5.7, AMH 2, AFC 19. 7 eggs retrieved, 6 fertilized & to GSN, 2 normal XY, 1 normal XX. Transferred 1XX. 1st beta 9 5dp5dt, 2nd beta 777 12dp5dt, 3rd beta 2823 15dp5dt. 124 at 6w6d (2 large SCHs seen). DD born 3 days overdue - December 2012.
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November 2nd, 2012, 01:39 PM #8
NC, the heart wants what the heart wants!!! Your heart deserves a dd, and I really hope you get her!!!
(9) (6) (5) (3) (1)
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November 2nd, 2012, 01:47 PM #92006, 2008, 2011, HT 2012
Cycle #1 @ HRC, March 2012: Pretesting FSH 5.7, AMH 2, AFC 19. 7 eggs retrieved, 6 fertilized & to GSN, 2 normal XY, 1 normal XX. Transferred 1XX. 1st beta 9 5dp5dt, 2nd beta 777 12dp5dt, 3rd beta 2823 15dp5dt. 124 at 6w6d (2 large SCHs seen). DD born 3 days overdue - December 2012.
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November 2nd, 2012, 01:50 PM #10
DD1 and DD2 are 17 months apart, I didn't plan it that way but I am so glad it happened. At first it was hard because I had two in diapers and DD1 was still a baby herself. Now that they are 5 and 4 I love it!! They do fight sometimes but I think thats normal. For the most part they are BFF's I'm just sorry I waited so long to try for my 3rd because now I feel like the little guy is going to get left out. I definitely agree with you, I would want to start as soon as I could so I could be done with pregnancies and focus on family Good luck with whatever you choose
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