how can I deal?!

[Rosie85]

So having 3 healthy babies in a row in which I got pregnant with the first try I really stupidly felt I was some sort of exception to the miscarriage rules. Of course I was wrong and my 4th pregnancy ended at 5 weeks. I am now pregnant again without seeing a period so it was 2 weeks after my loss that I conceived and I am terrified now. Every twinge or non twinge worries me. How can I relax?? What are the odds of two back to back losses?

[Babybeaublue]

I honestly don't know but as you saw on my post I'm right there with you as far as worrying goes. I'm sure you are no more at risk than anyone else tho, seeing as you have had 3 healthy pregnancies already. X

[loobylue]

Hi Rosie,

Firstly, huge congratulatons. I really have no idea about the answer to your question but as you know I'll be very interested in the replies myself.

Loads of luck, I'll be hoping so hard for you that everything turns out well. x

[coocoobananas]

How you feel isn't going to change the outcome so I think you should just try and relax and enjoy (if you can) I know that's easier said then done but worrying won't change a thing! I have my fingers and toes crossed for yah!
You have a way better record of keeping pregnancies than losses so hold on to that

[angielorna]

Oh, Rosie. The sad part is once you have a m/c (IMO), it takes all the innocence out of pregnancy

Having one m/c does not increase your rate for having another, especially since you already have 3 children. I did have back to back m/c (my first and second pregnancies), but I remember the odds of it happening being super low (because I was like, seriously, how many "odds" can I beat). I think it was 5% or less -- forgive my guess, it was over 6 years ago.

It's hard to deal with a pregnancy after a loss, especially when it's so soon after. I'm sure I've told this story before, but my boss lost her baby at full term, got pregnant before her next period and her second child is now thirty something. So it is completely possible to experience a loss and have a successful pregnancy before a period arrives. I know, not actually what you were asking, but....idk.

I agree with a pp, focus on the fact you have had 3 healthy pregnancies. Try your very best not to stress...(waaaaay easier said than done, believe me, I know). And hopefully, once you are past your loss week, it will get easier.

Hugs, Rosie.
Angie

[Rosie85]

Thanks ladies! Such beautiful advice. I agree angie that my loss has taken the innocence and easiness of pregnancy away. I'm trying to not think about it and I know what will happen will happen.

[sugarNspice]

I have had six consecutive losses, after 2 completely healthy normal pregnancies. So far my current pregnancy has been healthy and normal as well, though I will not rest easily until this baby is in my arms and alive.

I tell you this not to warn you that you too could have multiple losses in a row (of course, you could, but this is not common, and not likely), but to try to convey that not only is it possible to go on to have a healthy prengnancy after miscarriage, but that it's possible to survive the fear, and to take good care of your body and developing baby despite the anxiety that you will likely feel.

Things that have helped me: gentle exercise, like walking, yoga--very gentle, has helped sooooo much in terms of relieving stress, having supportive friends and loving people surround me with distractions, trying to focus my attention on pregnancy as little as possible, and instead attending to other things that matter in my life--the kids I already have, DH, career goals, my garden, etc.

Thinking too much about pregnancy--regardless of whether these thoughts are optimistic or anxious--tends to increase my anxiety levels, so for me it's less helpful.

Do know that you are not alone, and that what you are feeling is both normal and common.

My fingers are crossed for a healthy sticky baby for you.

[WantingPink]

I don't have any advise for you on what the percentages are although I do know they are low however, most rainbow babies are girls

[ratcliffe1811]

I'm sorry for your loss.I've been lucky enough to not yet (and hopefully not have to) experience an m/c but with my third I had twinges and pains and constantly thought I was going to lose him. It's very hard to relax but it does seem that rainbow babies seem to stick very well in a lot of cases. Personally I'd say stop looking for statistics you will end up more nervous and panicky which isnt good for you or baby. Sticky dust and hugs your way

[Rosie85]

Thank you everyone. I am feeling better about it all today. This pregnancy feels way better than my last...more normal. My boobs hurt way more and I feel sick a lot. I'm gonna pee on a stick and I'm expecting it to be much darker today!