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December 4th, 2023, 05:32 AM
#1
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December 5th, 2023, 12:35 PM
#2
Swaying Advice Coach
It's normal to have mixed feelings about adding more kids to the family. What you need to keep in mind is that kids generally just get easier as they get older. Many people regret, during the early years when they feel stretched thin, making decisions about family size that are forever.
I have a big age gap between my 2nd and 3rd kids that I made basically on a whim when my 1st and 2nd boys were very small, when I was having a bad day. I had always wanted more than two kids, but once I'd made up my mind (even tho it was a momentary thing that later passed) I felt like I couldn't change my opinion on it. It took WAYYY too long for me to feel ok with going back on it and I do have a lot of regrets.
My point is, don't let the bad moments color your decision. Over time the kids do more and more on their own, you have to do less and less of the heavy lifting, but making that decision can affect your family makeup in the very long term - forever! Take the bad days out of the mix and decide based on your overall preferences what you really want out of your mom experience.
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December 5th, 2023, 02:57 PM
#3
Originally Posted by
atomic sagebrush
It's normal to have mixed feelings about adding more kids to the family. What you need to keep in mind is that kids generally just get easier as they get older. Many people regret, during the early years when they feel stretched thin, making decisions about family size that are forever.
I have a big age gap between my 2nd and 3rd kids that I made basically on a whim when my 1st and 2nd boys were very small, when I was having a bad day. I had always wanted more than two kids, but once I'd made up my mind (even tho it was a momentary thing that later passed) I felt like I couldn't change my opinion on it. It took WAYYY too long for me to feel ok with going back on it and I do have a lot of regrets.
My point is, don't let the bad moments color your decision. Over time the kids do more and more on their own, you have to do less and less of the heavy lifting, but making that decision can affect your family makeup in the very long term - forever! Take the bad days out of the mix and decide based on your overall preferences what you really want out of your mom experience.
Atomic is incredible how you always know what to say and when to say it that’s exactly how I feel! It’s like just because I’d my mind set up that I was done with 3 kids I can’t change my own mind if that makes any sense? thanks for the kind and wise words
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December 7th, 2023, 11:58 AM
#4
Swaying Advice Coach
It does completely make sense and the weirdest part is that at least for me, it didn't even occur to me that I ~could~ change my mind. So it wasn't just other people's expectations, it was me internalizing those expectations so completely that it felt like there was a wall in my own head about it!
Bump
Not sure where to ask not TTC