Originally Posted by
purplepoet20
Zanacal and anyone who has wondered about me - I have been busy and sad...
It has been raining a lot in the last few months. We have been trying to finish as much outside remodeling as we can before winter starts. It normally gets to cold to do anything by mid october. We are so close to being done. We want to have the backyard done this year and ready for grass next Spring. Next year we get to do the front yard but that will be easy, it only needs 5 trees cut down and grass. Still can't believe there were 25 trees on such a small lot.
I also have tons of sewing to do for Christmas gifts. I am having a hard time with the sewing because I have 3 neices to sew dresses for. I have found patterns that I love so much and want to make a little dress for my own girl but I get so sad sewing that same pattern for a neice. I have fabric that my greatgrandma bought 25 years ago and tons that I bought just sitting in a tote. I can't use the fabric for a neice because I would cry the entire time I am sewing. I know if I start sewing dresses for my own girl and then have another boy it will be harder to deal with.
... I have been very sad the last few weeks and trying to stay away from the computer. I hope I get pregnant this month because I can't take anymore of these what ifs. I would consider adoption but I am afraid I want love a daughter as much if she wasn't mine. Maybe I will talk to my hubby about Dr Potter if we don't get pregnant this month.
