UK SMOG Wannabes May

Zanacal - I hope dd comes soon, I feel for you and babymad in this heat!

Deaks your friend with three boys and a dd sounds like a Pratt. Can you imagine any of us saying how much greater our girls are than our sons? Tis a bit unfair to her kids. I have us ogs say our dds are calmer and more chilled but better? Not heard that. I don't like people having favourites as it causes issues for the kids

Yes gd really sucks. To those with girls please tell us you feel your girls relived that pain? I would love to hear that you feel complete and happy now. I bet you do which is as it should be.

My poor car, I hope it is fixable. Don't realise how much it ment to me. My independence. Having to borrow dhs car now. A astra with three kids and two adults is a squeeze.

Went to a party last night and watched my eldest playing a nine year old girl. I am imagining him with a girlfriend now. I felt proud and upset he is growing up all at once. I just feel like I love him more each day. He is so clever and witty. Dave is unbearably cute - everyone told me at the party so it must be true. But ds2 I'm afraid is just a shitbag. What did I say about favourites lol!

Oh and I had the same comment again from my bf 'will you keepgping for a girl forever?' and three is a handful from a few people. But do you know what three isn't a handful it's a real blessing.

Z ~ Hope the walk helped :) Ive always gone over and was induced with the last two so not expecting any diff this time BUT I so want a home birth but mine just don't seem to want to arrive in the world!! Fingers crossed today is the day for you :)

Deaks ~ That is great news re PDG and how wonderful to have such a supportive husband :) I am very pleased for you (and very envious!) xx I don't like to think about living in regret but if I could turn back the clock I wish we had had the money to do PDG again - I think that will always be something I struggle with. I think if DH had been supportive it is something we could have done but he struggled with it all - most of my hi-tech friends had supportive DH's when doing PDG and had several attempts, I suppose I feel let down that I didn't have that. Two of my hi-tech friends have recently had their baby girls and they both went to Dr Potter so I have everything crossed for you x

BBQ was awful (as expected) struggled it keep it together, had an argument with DH on the way home and spent the rest of the evening in bed crying. Ive had all the same crap today - i can't explain how much I dread the school run - even the headteacher was saying 'oh god' not another boy today - how I will face everyone when he arrives I just don't know :(

I do get where your friend is coming from with wanting to stay at home and make the most of her DD, I don't think its about having favourites just that content feeling. I have always enjoyed the baby bit soooo much and loved the newborn cuddles and being motherearth BUT this time all I can think about is being being ME again, getting back into shape and enjoying some kind of social/ keep fit life again. It's like all I can focus on is escaping and getting on with my life - obviously I wouldn't feel this way at all if I was having a girl......so my GD is definitely different this time as I've never felt this way before.

Only 4 more days of putting up with everyones bullshit and then I can hide for several days over half term before my induction on 11th.

Maybe ~ Dave is defo a cutie and a real blessing :) My eldest is 8 and he's really grown up this year - He's lovely company, I let him stay up last night and watch Soccer Aid, it was nice to sit and watch it together. I am far from a football fan and normally disappear when footie is on the TV so it was nice that I could watch it too (Only wanted to see John Bishop in shorts - I have a bit of a soft spot for him :))

Inglewood ~ How is things with the girls and DH?

xxx

Babymad, its funny cos although my friend probably does have that feeling of just wanting to make the most of this being her last etc, i do definitely get the feeling that a lot of it is to do with her baby being a girl. She has bought a whole wardrobe of girls clothes, which is totally understandable, but bearing in mind her boys arent that well dressed in comparison, i think she is just finally content in life. I would also feel the same but i would never dream of making such comments, especially to someone she knows that swayed and found it hard hearing boy again. just another case of insensitivity.

Cant believe you sons headmistress said that to you. When i got the grimace i JUST about managed to hold it together though i did make a point of saying how everyone seems much more bothered about the gender than i am. She soon shut up. But if someone said something THAT rude id have to tell them how rude they were being i think. Or at least say 'excuse me????!!!!' I feel so bad that you are going through all this...just hideous!

I have been very lucky with dh about pgd. I think deep down he would love a dd. Though he has never said that to me. I think he also see's how upset i have been and knows that i know we have the money to do it (the first attempt at HRC would be my inheritance money anyway) so doesn't really have a leg to stand on. Im sure he wont be quite as chilled when he has to turn up to various clinics to leave his deposit of swimmers! I sooooo wish there was a way you could give pgd another shot :(

Maybe - i love how you summed up having three! I really cant wait to have three and apart from a wobble every now and then have got my head around another boy. Im sure the sunshine helps, im not sure why but when i see them playing outside my gd is so much less. Im actually jealous of you babymad, zan and ping, all having babies over the summer. So lovely to be able to show them off better and also get to look at those lovely skinny newborn legs all day long.

Hi everyone else! Zanacal, you had better be having your baby right now!

Wow babymad that comment from the head is so hurtful. I wonder if they even realise how rude that is? My worse is my bf. When I had dave she kept saying to dh did he want to hold her dd as it's his only chance to hold a girl. That hurt as I want to him a girl to hold plus I had just had dave so he seemed like a sorry second place to her I guess? Also she keeps saying will I keep trying for a girl like no family can complete without one. Yes I will keep going till I have hundreds of the little buggers and when I get my dd the boys are going on eBay (tempting with ds2). They are my kids! Yes I do want a girl but I can still love and enjoy my sons. But I don't she realises what she says so I try not to get upset. Apart from that I don't get the comments. I think my bf upsets me as it's said on front of dh like she won the jackpot and I came second place. But I really didn't. We both hit the jackpot

Kell, i did your survey, i hope it wasn't too late. I actually have no probs with male midwives/surgeons as i had a lovely surgeon help deliver ds1 when things got difficult and i was rushed to theatre.

What a cow hun! Anyway whoever is more broody by someone else's daughter than their own son?!!...she sounds soooo annoying! funnily enough, im not nearly as broody around baby girls as i am boys, i guess because i have never had my own. Sons are equally amazing as daughters its just that we'd like to experience both. Wish other people could see that and stop being so smug!! ha ha!

I agree boys are just as wonderful as girls......and its awful how people react so negatively to all boy families :( Maybe its because I'm on number 4....most peoples worst nightmare! I feel like I've defo had my fair share of comments!

Maybe ~ Thats very unkind what your BF has been saying......I wouldn't be able to stay calm or let them kind of comments go over my head.....just dreadful!

Deaks ~ I agree your friend was very insensitive saying those things when she knows what situation you are in - some people only seem to think about how they feel though and once they've achieved their dream those who are still trying just don't matter anymore!

Cant wait to start hearing all about your hi-tech journey :)

Wow, I can't believe the comments some of you have to put up with - just shocking! I seem to avoid them somehow or I'm completely oblivious to them because I'm too busy trying to keep the boys in order :D The only comments I've had lately were to tell me how lovely the boys were (in Costa - they're not always!!) and I think any big family is something to envy! I was watching my 3 in the garden together yesterday and thinking how wonderful it is that they have each other. Yes they're a handful but they're a heartful too :D

Starting to get a teensy bit p!ssed off with not going in to labour now. I know I'm 'only' 5 days over but that's more than I've ever been before I don't even feel like baby's head is engaged!

Zanacal dave didn't engage even in labour. I think our wombs just get too slack after two kids! I get lovely comments too but every now and again they show me up! Like just now down the doctors - grrgghh! I hope you have lots of nice summer outfits for dd. I would love to buy some summer baby dresses! I see lots of lovely things for Ashton but he has too many clothes from his brothers. I need to stop spending too as god knows how much my car will cost to fix

I think most children misbehave at the doctor's - I've spent many a time in the waiting room sweating and stressing!!

None of my others were engaged before labour either (though they were all back to back!) - but they also arrived pretty much on time so I didn't have the issue of not being able to have a sweep because I didn't need one! The boys are bouncing on the trampoline and I may just go and join them - that might do it :D

A wee quick hello before I sneak off to bed.

Sorry to hear many of you are still having horrible comments, literally days before your babies are due, some people haven't a sensitive or common sense bone in their body....or a brain! I LOVE being a mum, regardless of boy/girl, that's been since I held ds1 in my arms. Maybe, yes I do feel so blessed that my aching has gone and wish you all too one day can experience it too, or continue to enjoy the blessings we all have already which is all our gorgeous boys (some still young and full mischief like my ds2, or sensitive and great company like my ds1 and your ds1 too Babymad).

Hope your car got sorted Maybe?

Deaks, wow PGD! I am am friends on here with a couple of mums here that did pgd and got twin girls, so u never know! lol

AFM, using the colief with ???? better more settled girlies today?? not sure if it's that or the heat knocking them out as it's been 25-27 degrees C today. Enjoying putting them in summery clothes as the boys were winter babies (oct/nov), so I never know what to put on them.... paranoid they are cold when they are prob stewing hot! It been tough this past week, but ok today, think Dh finally realises after this past week how tough it is on ur own with 2 coliky babies! and was nicer to me today. Know it's early days as they are 8wks old today, so this is whe the adrenaline runs out and the hormones and sleep deprivation catches up...

Will pop on tom, Z stalking u on fb for news..... Fx not long now...

nite all, thinking of you all and with much love x

Zanacal - can't believe bubba is still keeping you waiting!!! I think the trampoline sounds like a great idea :D Shake her out!!

Deaks - my little man will be a winter baby! Just getting into winter over here! Although winter isn't as bad here. Although at least we have heating in our house now. Been fishing out all the snuggly warm onesies for bubba.

Babymad - what a terrible comment by the head!! Stupid and ignorant. I must say I haven't had many comments yet... but then nobody really knows we're having boy #3! Ernie told the lady at childcare that the baby had been born and his sister was at home... boo hoo... not sure what he was thinking!!! Think MIL won't say anything as she has 4 boys 1 girl - and desperately wanted another girl but they kept coming out boys.

Inglewood - hang in there - I'm sure you're doing a fantastic job. From what my SIL went through the early days with twins are a bit of a blurry mess!!! - she had one with severe reflux so was covered in vomit most of the time :) But now things settled down into a good routine. She always says routine is key with twins.

We were discussing names last night. Why do we bother. The one name we sort of agree on... we're still not sure about. Arghhhh...

Been stuck at home the last couple of days. Percy has hand,foot and mouth or impetigo (not sure which - doc was useless). He has the most hideous sores around his mouth... and he dribbles constantly anyway so they hard to keep them dry. :P Really want him to get rid of it before baby arrives.

Anyways - lets see some babies soon :baby: :baby: :baby:

Ping - what are your names? With dave we tried calling him one name on saturday and the other on Sunday. Saying it repeatedly helped us to choose but picking after he was born was a mistake in hindsight

Thanks for doing the survey ladies :) I'm now busy analysing results oh joy lol.

Zanacal I really hope little lady makes an arrival soon :) I have a feeling this one will be late and cause problems, purely because the boys were both on time and as far as labour goes they were easy!

Babymad what a horrible woman! And Deaks sorry ur friend has been less than sensitive I don't get why people don't think before they speak!

Inglewood sorry you've been having a hard time, but glad to hear dh has been a bit better today. Fingers crossed things are settling with the girls

Afm- nothing much to say really, still feels like ages till she arrives but in reality it's not. This past week has been awful with the heat. I've turned into a swollen mess. Doesn't help we've had all three boys running me ragged as well lol for the next two-three weeks my life is college work and kids, but then I can chill out for a few weeks before her arrival. It has been lovely watching the boys have water fights and play so well together.

Hope your all doing well :) night night!

Hello ladies, hope you all doing OK.
Sounds like we are all in the same boat with all the comments etc, people just do not know when to shut up or how to stop shoving their smugness with their girls in our faces! sorry, just get so pissed off, why can't they just even pretend to be happy? I can't believe what the head said to you Babymad, that is soooo unprofessional as well as insensitive, to be so openly gender biased like that is terrible. You are right Maybebaby, we have actually all got the jackpot, it is a complete miracle to have our bumps and babies, we are so blessed, just other people can take the shine off it unfortunately and make us focus on the wrong things.
I feel like I am doing OK at the moment, SPD not too bad and loving the warm weather. Love having you all here, sorry not been posting so much, I do check in on you every day though :HH:

oh my, lots to catch up on! hope everyone is doing okay and enjoying the nice weather :)

Deaks, Babymad and Indigo ~ I am so so sorry you still have to put up with comments :( It's truly awful! as you know I kept the gender a secret with dd so I had them too! some people just don't use common sense and others must be really miserable sh*theads who feel the need to insult others because they're unhappy with their own lifes. Deaks, I must say your friend sounds very smug!

Zanacal ~ Bless your soul! I would be tearing my hair out now I think if I was you :P I've never gone over so I don't know what it's like but I can only imagine how frustrating it must be, not to mention how uncomfortable it must be to be 40+ weeks pregnant in this heat. Hopefully it won't be long now!! :) She is probably so snug and comfortable she doesn't want to come out :P

Threelittlemen ~ hope your dd feels better now! my ds1 has a virus and so has had a fever now for 7 days... a very looong 7 days!

Maybebaby ~ yes the ache and pain is gone for me now that she's here, but I will always be a boys mama at heart I think iykwim. Having experienced gender desire and suffered through family's, friends and strangers stupid, hurtful comments for so long - it is something I will always carry with me! at least i know no gender comments will ever leave my lips!

kell ~ 32 weeks already wow! i understand it feels like ages, but she'll be here before you know it so try and enjoy these last few weeks as much as you can :)

afm, dd has gone from being a "sleeping-eating-pooping infant machine" to wanting to be entertained constantly lol she's rolling all over the place and demands to have a toy in her hand at all times and if she's left without something to inspect/chew for more than 10 seconds it's world war 3! she loves to see what the boys are doing and beams from ear to ear whenever they speak to her. It's all very cute! :) times flies though! i cant believe she'll soon be 5 monhts!

Ahhh Sunset, I love that age and Serena sounds adorable! Thanks for the well wishes, I'm trying to wait patiently but have been pretty grouchy today!!

Hi all!

Sunset, cant believe serena is 5 months already...wow! Yes the comments can be so hurtful but im not struggling as much now since i had my chat with dh and we have a plan.

I have my 20 week scan on friday... cant wait and hoping i might be able to convince them to confirm its a boy. Im in now way hopeful it could be a girl mind you but i guess it would be nice to know for sure either way. Could a turtle at 13-14 weeks turn out to be a girl?

Hi everyone else, zanacal sorry to see you still on here and not holding your dd in your arms yet. Wont be long though :)

Pinga, babymad, any twinges yet?

X

hi all so sorry not been on awayh at legoland then i have spent most of my time to and fro to my mums as my washing machine is still broken feel completely unprepared for a baby and my house is suffering as i am out so much trying to wash clothes GGGRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I wanted to send some huge love and hugs to those suffering at the expense of idiots who feel the need to open their mouths when they really shouldnt! We WILL love these little boys so so much its just so very hard too. For me this is it and I know it is for others for those who try again I wish you every success x x god i would love to hold my very own daughter!

inglewood - have you considered chiropractor for the colic?? HAve 2 friends both with non sleeping colic reflux babies who were both 100 times better with just 1 appointment - going to try it this time with baby4, also thinking of taking nico as he has never slept properly and has lots of problems with his neck

must run need sleep havnt sat down at all today x big love to you all fx on tomorrow x x

Thats a good point actually charlie! I saw a cranial osteopath with ds2 and a week later he was loads better. Could just have been a coincidence and the reflux getting better but i definitely believe some babies hold a lot of tension in their necks from birth and this kind of thing can really help!

Lovely to hear from you hun, hope the mountain of washing gets cleared soon! We will love these boys soooooo much! Maybe we should change our name from smog wannabes simply to smob! yeah!

The oesteopath might be something to consider, esp with DD2 who was breech, she has colic worse! My friend goes to a crianal oesteopath with her son, will get the no.

Hope it helps hun x huge hugs

and deaks totally with you their SMOB <3 although 2 of my boys were constantly mistaken for girls whilst we were away!!!

Hi girls.....

Inglewood ~ pleased things are better with DH, and I hope things ease up with the girls. I suppose it's trial and error which takes time and patience, neither of which you have at the mo I'm sure! X

Hi to Kell and Pinga and Indigo :) Lovely to hear from you all x

Charlie ~ Legoland looked great, can't wait to take the boys :) hope you get your washer sorted soon, no fun!! All my jobs seem to take forever these days with such a big bump, can't wait to be bump free!!!! I was painting the garden fence yesterday and it about killed me off! How are your counselling sessions going?

Zanacal ~ Still no signs? Have you done the deed, that helps??

Deaks ~ love your holiday pics :) Hope all goes well with your scan tomorrow, I still think that was very early to say for sure so I will look forward to your post incase a pink bean is in there :)

I am so pleased its the last day of school today! I am so looking forward to hiding for a week! My induction date is the day they go back to school so at least I won't have to see anyone for awhile now and baby will be here by the time I do the school run again.

You would think with going 2 weeks over with the others that I would be use to it but I'm struggling now :( my feet are so swollen and it's very painful to stand/ walk. Each day is dragging :(

My hitech friend had her twin girls yesterday, must be so amazing to hold your DD(s). I wish I knew how to accept that I will NEVER have a DD....where do you start???

Sunset ~ 5 months, that is crazy!!! I love that age, so sweet :)

Babymad, is there no way you could ever go HT again? would it be the finances or dh (or perhaps both) that would be the problem? You look like the sort of person that could handle 5 kiddywinks!!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by deaks66

Babymad, is there no way you could ever go HT again? would it be the finances or dh (or perhaps both) that would be the problem? You look like the sort of person that could handle 5 kiddywinks!!

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In a word no! I would only ever go to USA for PDG which would mean taking a family of 6 on holiday plus hi-tech costs which we could never afford in the next few years and then I would be too old. Winning the lottery would be the only way, honestly! DH will be having the snip at some point after this baby is born. We couldn't practically have 5 kids either, not enough room, cost etc etc. I always wanted four so feel thankful we have been blessed with four healthy children but I couldn't go to 5 - I much prefer even numbers ;) So it is a reality that I will never have a daughter, I will never know what she looked like, what her hair colour was, her eye colour, her smile......I struggle everyday with knowing my whole life will have an emptiness that nothing else can fill but a daughter. But life does go on so i will have to manage somehow......

babymad i could have written that post myself i only ever wanted 4 although in my head i always had girls at least 2!! The fact i will never see dh hold his baby girl he longed for so much never to know what she would have could have been. I couldnt have 5 i would have to have 6 but we really cant afford 4 kids let alone anymore - we will never have that money not anytime soon and i have made dh promise if we do have that sort of money I can get a VW campervan just for me.......its something i have wanted since i was 16 and so my aim is to save for that make it my piece of girly heaven in a world of b.o footie and boys......they can have a tent!!!

I too feel so sad charlie that DH won't have a daughter, he would have been a great dad to a daughter and before my relationship went 'boobs up' with my dad i had a great relationship with him and a good few years of great memories where my dad was my world .I can't accept that we will never see our daughter get married....have her first child and become a woman :(
I too am like you, desperately trying to find someone that i can cling onto that may help me feel better.....we are renovating our bathroom at the mo and I am trying to add an element of 'girly' (Cath Kidston towels etc) god knows why it will only get trashed by 4 boys but hey ho I need someone in my life other than toilet seats left up and football boots everywhere :(
Are you waiting until his arrival to tell everyone?

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Originally Posted by Babymad

In a word no! I would only ever go to USA for PDG which would mean taking a family of 6 on holiday plus hi-tech costs which we could never afford in the next few years and then I would be too old. Winning the lottery would be the only way, honestly! DH will be having the snip at some point after this baby is born. We couldn't practically have 5 kids either, not enough room, cost etc etc. I always wanted four so feel thankful we have been blessed with four healthy children but I couldn't go to 5 - I much prefer even numbers ;) So it is a reality that I will never have a daughter, I will never know what she looked like, what her hair colour was, her eye colour, her smile......I struggle everyday with knowing my whole life will have an emptiness that nothing else can fill but a daughter. But life does go on so i will have to manage somehow......

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... and you will manage babymad, i know it! Things will become much less raw and time will heal like it does with everything else. DS4 will be the start and things will continue to improve im sure of it. Its such a hard prospect for any of us to face. I still don't picture a dd in my life even though we will give HT a shot... it just doesn't feel like its meant to be somehow.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by charlieispy

babymad i could have written that post myself i only ever wanted 4 although in my head i always had girls at least 2!! The fact i will never see dh hold his baby girl he longed for so much never to know what she would have could have been. I couldnt have 5 i would have to have 6 but we really cant afford 4 kids let alone anymore - we will never have that money not anytime soon and i have made dh promise if we do have that sort of money I can get a VW campervan just for me.......its something i have wanted since i was 16 and so my aim is to save for that make it my piece of girly heaven in a world of b.o footie and boys......they can have a tent!!!

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a campervan sounds perfect! Decked out all girly and vintage and lovely, i can just see it!

Hugs Charlie and Babymad x

Still no baby here (DTD hasn't helped unfortunately!!) but I'm getting lots of braxton hicks today so I hope they may lead to something. I don't usually get them the whole day through! DS1 is on a school trip today and I've been really worried about it so maybe my body will go for it once I've got him home safe and sound :D

Zanacal poor you, she can't stay put just hang onto that fact!

I have a little tear for your post babymad and Charlie. I think all those things too and more.

With dave I guess I've been lucky in a way as my real turning point in gd terms was sitting in the fertility clinic ready a leaflet on life without children. Then going home and telling dh it looked like we could have no more kids. I don't think I've ever felt more desperate and low. After going so low the only way is up

Had a dream last night I was dying (nice!?) and ds1 was there and I said I loved him more than I have ever loved anyone before. Weird because I woke up and thought surely that would be dh but it did get me thinking. He had a health scare with lumpy nodes this month so maybe dream was due to that.

I'm the same as you to some extent maybebaby as it took so long to get ds2 and being devastated by the miscarriages I do feel so so blessed to have children at all. I think all those things too though and would have loved things to be different but I just try not to think about the future (without a daughter) and make my mind think about other things when I begin to daydream or dwell on what will never be. We won't go to 4 kids so this is it for us but I'm feeling pretty hopeful that, like Deaks said, time will heal and there will be so many wonderful things to enjoy in the future with our wonderful boys.
Love the idea of the name swap too, smob, brilliant! At least that is something we all are and it makes it better to focus on what we do have rather than what we don't.
huge hugs to you ladies though, it is so great we have eachother and somewhere we can be completely honest and feel understood and supported.
:HH:

Maybe- hope your ds1 is OK, has he been to the docs is all ok? We will have to meet for a coffee again soon :)

Indigo that would be lovely x yes ds is ok, went to hospital this week who confirmed infected lymph nodes. He has had a massive lump for months I think having a baby makes me paranoid. Finding a lump anywhere freaks me out. Especially when the gp said it had spread.

Charlie and Babymad - huge hugs. Everything you guys said are my fears/feelings. I'm just not dealing with it yet.

I have to focus on my gorgeous children. Had an Ob appointment this morning and when I said I was expecting boy #3, she said "Poor Mummy" to Percy. I didn't feel annoyed by the comment... just a bit sad as I do feel a bit like that!!! :)

Probably have to have fetal monitoring on Monday :P - so thats the 4 hour session at the hospital with them doing my Blood pressure every hour! boo hoo. Silly BP is up and down all the time. Really don't want to be going to the hospital twice a week now!!!!!

I keep logging on here expecting to see at least ONE baby arrival :D

Yes pinga - come on babies!

Sorry you have monitoring. When I was in overnight there was woman there who was admitted at 17 weeks with placenta previa and not allowed to leave until her section at 37 weeks! No help to you but imagine that - poor woman

COME ON BABIES - not mine just yet though got to get to my best friends wedding on thursday! Although my BH are horrendous and a couple of them today made me think oh shit!

Where are these bubbies x

pinga - hugs for the comment - i told a stranger at legoland i was having another boy and she said oh how lovely.....probably one of the first nice comments I have had! Hugs for monitoring too its sooooooo boring isnt it x hope they dont keep you waiting too long my bubs always move and then lose the trace so i have to stay for ageeeeees either that or sleep and dont move never behave anyway.

Right sending MAJOR labour vibes to all in need of them x indy is currently sitting on my back like the monkey he is demanding dinner.....off i trot then

I have created a June thread for you ladies-

http://genderdreaming.com/forum/tryi...tml#post199770