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October 14th, 2016, 01:06 PM
jdd1017

Quote:

Originally Posted by jenren

I only weigh 113. I was shocked when she told me that and very distressed the rest of the day. I went home and looked it up and apparently the average weight gain for 20 weeks in only 5lbs :"(
She even told me to stop eating middle of the night snacks. I told her I am still sick all night and most definitely do not get up to eat!!!

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Omg you're so tiny!!!! Well if it makes you feel any better I am only 12 weeks and I've gained 5 lbs so apparently I need to "slow it down a bit" too.

Your comment about not waking up in the middle of the night to eat made me laugh. Sorry you're still sick!! That's miserable!!!

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October 14th, 2016, 01:11 PM
jenren

Quote:

Originally Posted by jdd1017

Omg you're so tiny!!!! Well if it makes you feel any better I am only 12 weeks and I've gained 5 lbs so apparently I need to "slow it down a bit" too.

Your comment about not waking up in the middle of the night to eat made me laugh. Sorry you're still sick!! That's miserable!!!

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It's getting better just sick in the evening and at night. I just was perplexed that she assumed I snack all night lol. Is that common???

I personally do think that some of gender has to be due to the father's genetics. I mean my mom very much has a "boy mom personality" but has 6 girls vs 2 boys. Also my dh has all brothers so it isn't too shocking he had all boys... Idk... it makes me feel better to think it is not mostly determined by what I do or don't do

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October 14th, 2016, 01:12 PM
Throwaway_panther

Quote:

Originally Posted by jdd1017

I have never considered going HT because it isn't in the budget, but just for the hell of it I looked into it yesterday. What I found really interesting was that, in one of the case studies they used for a couple that used HT, the man only produced 38% X sperm and the remainder were Y sperm. I was shocked to read this, because I always thought it was 50/50. I have read COUNTLESS times on this site that it is 50/50!! Well, apparently it isn't. I started looking into it more and it seems that there might be a genetic disposition to some men producing more males and some producing more females. I pasted the websites of one of the articles about this. While I do believe the moms condition probably has something to do with the gender of the child, I am starting to wonder if it is more out of our hands than I thought. Part of me felt comfort in finding this out, because I didn't feel like such a failure or like I didn't have a strong enough sway. The other part of me felt despair, that no matter what I do, my husband and I are destined to have boys. Maybe I just need to find myself a new hubby![emoji13][emoji13][emoji13]

https://www.sciencedaily.com/release...1211121835.htm

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I'm glad you shared this -- I've been alluding to these studies elsewhere on here, and I know we ultimately can't control our husbands and only ourselves, but the rhetoric that WE are more important to the gender is false, which is still supported by science. By definition, swaying is just that -- a sway, or nudge, so I get that. But like XX, I don't feel comfortable discussing this and a lot of other issues on here as much anymore unfortunately.

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October 14th, 2016, 01:14 PM
Throwaway_panther

Quote:

Originally Posted by Burakoam

It's alright XX and you can always message me too if you don't wanna voice them publicly, I do have info for you. It not something I really want to make public... so..

Today has been a bad morning. You know at the root of all things for someone who has a gender preference there is usually a reason why. I have thought on it for a few pregnancies now and realize that it's almost 100% the fact my relationship with my mother sucks. Really sucks. This morning she told me in front of my daughters and my father that I ruin everyone's day and do nothing right.

Not the first time I've heard such hateful words come from my mom and truth is I have heard worse. She has emotionally manipulated me in the past promising me safety and protection only to quite literally be the one who hurts me.

i have been in bed crying for hours since she left. This baby is due just a few days after her birthday and I hate that.

I've talked to therapists and doctors for years about my relationship with her but she doesn't see the problem with herself it's all within me. She wishes she never had me and blames me for all the bad things in her life. Says I have ruined her life and her marriage to my father.

Ladies even when your children are grown. When they are adults or god forbid have children of their own even.. please never talk to them that way. Please. It doesn't matter how old your children get it will always break them when you call them names or tease them or say some of the awful things I have mentioned here. No child is ever emotionally or mentally prepared to hear some of the things I have heard from my mothers mouth.

I'm sure you're probably familiar, but have you looked into resources on narcissism? Your mom sounds like a textbook narcissist. The book "Toxic Parents" by Susan Forward is a really good one too.

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October 14th, 2016, 02:04 PM
Burakoam

Very familiar with all of that. There is so much more i dare not go into that would have you screaming from the top of a building that she is a narcissist... In my situation firm boundaries are impossible. Id rather not go into it too much because there are a few on here that would judge me for some of it (rightly so, not saying they are in the wrong) but its stuff that has been done and cannot be changed and so that is that.

For my kids sake, i put up with all of it. Its reaching the point where my oldest is getting older and she is even seeping her nastiness into her life too. Other day there was an argument because i told her to quit calling my oldest a zit face and telling her she is gross. So there is going to come a point very soon where she will lose all of us. Except maybe my middle daughter who i swear thinks my mom can do no wrong. Not sure she ever could to her in any circumstance.
October 14th, 2016, 02:05 PM
Burakoam

Holy crap so jealous of anyone who weighs less than 120 right now... ive literally been eating carrots and veggies and fruit trying to keep my weight gain from getting any worse than it already is...weighed 153 at last appointment.
October 14th, 2016, 02:07 PM
jenren

Quote:

Originally Posted by Burakoam

Very familiar with all of that. There is so much more i dare not go into that would have you screaming from the top of a building that she is a narcissist... In my situation firm boundaries are impossible. Id rather not go into it too much because there are a few on here that would judge me for some of it (rightly so, not saying they are in the wrong) but its stuff that has been done and cannot be changed and so that is that.

For my kids sake, i put up with all of it. Its reaching the point where my oldest is getting older and she is even seeping her nastiness into her life too. Other day there was an argument because i told her to quit calling my oldest a zit face and telling her she is gross. So there is going to come a point very soon where she will lose all of us. Except maybe my middle daughter who i swear thinks my mom can do no wrong. Not sure she ever could to her in any circumstance.

I'm so sorry :( I would flip out of my mom spoke to my kid like that. So so mean. I hope that whatever your situation is it gets better. No one needs that in their life. It is poisonous.

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October 14th, 2016, 02:10 PM
jenren

Quote:

Originally Posted by Burakoam

Holy crap so jealous of anyone who weighs less than 120 right now... ive literally been eating carrots and veggies and fruit trying to keep my weight gain from getting any worse than it already is...weighed 153 at last appointment.

I'm probably much much shorter than you. It isn't fair to compare bodies. You are quite beautiful I am sure of it!!! Women are meant to have curves. My husband tells me I am the most attractive pregnant because I weigh more

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October 14th, 2016, 02:12 PM
Burakoam

im 5'1 so while its entirely possible you are shorter than me im not sure by how much. lol. I am overweight at this point, but i really really appreciate your kindness. Truly. brought a smile to my face.
October 14th, 2016, 02:15 PM
jenren

Quote:

Originally Posted by Burakoam

im 5'1 so while its entirely possible you are shorter than me im not sure by how much. lol. I am overweight at this point, but i really really appreciate your kindness. Truly. brought a smile to my face.

Another shorty like me. Still a slight bit taller but we are close :) I have a sister even shorter than me about your weight and she is so curvy and beautiful. I truly meant what I said!

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