Omg I'm so sorry! I don't have words to say :( please keep us updated
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Omg I'm so sorry! I don't have words to say :( please keep us updated
Northern, my heart breaks for you! I will hold out hope for your little princess and pray that you hear good results from your testing! Life is just so unfair and as you said you have to make whatever decision is right for you and your family!
My prayers to Fish as well! Stay strong ladies and keep us updated! We are all cheering for and supporting you!!
Wow, when it rains it pours around here, doesn't it?!? Northern, I wish there was someting I could say that would ease your worries, but I know there isn't. I just want you to know you and your little Evelyn have positive thoughts and prayers coming to you from all around the world. I can't even imagine what you're going through now and all I can do is hope along with everyone else that you get better results from your amnio. Try not to loose all hope yet:HH:
OH Northern, this is not what I wanted to wake up to. My heart breaks for you and your husband. I know Im on the other side of the world, but if I could give you a hug I would do so in an instant. I know all of our words of concern and support dont take the pain away - I wish with all I have that it can. As some of the other ladies have said, gather all your info before making any decisions - but what ever you decide you know you have all of our support 100%. We do not judge here, we are a wonderful support group, and we have your best interests at heart.
Life is just so damn unfair sometimes you just want to scream at the universe!! Im sitting here not wanting to sign off and I just want to keep talking to you. But know you are in my thoughts constantly.
What a horrid week this forum is having.
I pray further testing reveals something more positive.
So very very sorry x x x x x
Toxoplasmosis is from cats or your touching raw meat but not dogs. Even the raw meat thing just doesn't happen.
Here, my NT bloodwork was for 13,18 and 21- the 3 most likely chromosome defects that can produce a live baby. Most places test all 3. The nuchal fold should have shown something off at the NT scan. Something should have presented at your NT scan IF this baby has Edwards. It should just appear at 20 weeks. I pray all is well or it is something that can be resolved in some way.
OMG what is happening here. Northern, I am so so so deeply sorry! I just read what happened and I am speechless. I so hope it will somehow all turn out to be ok!! We have also said that we couldn't deal with (another) disabled child. I can totally understand that.
I am crossing my fingers for you and hoping and praying for you and your little girl!! I don't know if you have already said when you will be getting the results from the amnio. I just really hope you will have them very very soon afterwards.
You are in my thoughts and prayers. :LotsofLove:
In what way is it "swollen"? DS1 has a huge head, really very very huge. This is (among other things) one of the reasons why we had been running from one specialist to the next one. Unfortunately, his head is still unusually large and has a strange shape. I so hope that it is somehow going to be ok. I cannot believe what is happening here.. the same with Fish :sad: I am so so sorry for what you have to be going through right now. :sad:Quote:
Originally Posted by Northern_Shutterbug
Lurking... I just want to say do NOT give up Hope Northern. I am not sure if you have any kind of faith but I do believe God can do miracles. I have a friend who was pregnant with a baby girl, they found markers on her daughter in her ultrasound. They did blood work and it came back and it came back that her daughter had trisomy 13 is doctor basically told her that the baby wouldn't life long past birth. Well we all prayed for God to heal her. She went back for a 2nd ultrasound and the baby had no markers, they could not believe it the US tech was wondering why they were even there.The doctor said this isn't the same baby! They could not believe it. They then did an amino, and everything came back perfect!!! She finally had her baby girl and she is perfect and healthy! Praying for you and your baby girl!
Ladies I am so sorry also for whats happening with your beautiful little ones atm, I truly hope that they all are born safe and sound for you all xxxx
This little girl has bilateral ventriculomegaly, and its severe - 17.7mm. Anything over 10mm is cause for concern, and as you can see, its almost double.
I've read miracles of children that have had moderate ventriculomegaly and they've been fine, but these are isolated versions, where there are no other problems, such as her heart abnormalities and the fluid around her abdomen. I've read no good stories of a child with a severe case, only the heartbreaking stories of women having to make the heartbreaking decision to end their babies lives.
I keep going through stages of denial thinking it must all be a mistake, but deep down I know this is it. If the measurements of her ventricles are the same or worse on Tuesday I'm not even going to bother with the amnio as prognosis from just that is awful, regardless of the other problems. I'd rather go through the pain sooner and ask them to do an autopsy after, rather than having the wait for the results.
I really wanted lots of glasses of wine tonight, I'm not a drinker but I want to drown my sorrows, I want the pain to be dulled, but as I stood in front of our liquor cabinet I couldn't bring myself to do it, I broke down.
I don't want to be around my boys and I don't want to have to deal with my husband's grief as well as my own, I don't know how to. He doesn't think he could cope with seeing her if I go through the labour to end this pregnancy, but I am worried about general anesthetic and something going wrong which would result in no more chance of having children.
I'm sorry to be so depressing, I'm just really struggling and I don't feel like I can talk to hubby about it.
I know. Itching I can say will comfort you in any way :( I honestly can't imagine the pain your feeling...
I do understand you making the decision of terminating cause maybe prolonging it might seem more painful
Months ago I found a woman's blog and cried like I've havnt cried in sooo long. 2012 September
You might have to go a bit further back then I have it to get the full story... Please read it! After reading it.. It made me wonder wow this woman is amazing for what she has been through they are such a strong unit... And then made me wonder if this was me what would I actually do obvious I will never know unless I am I. This situation... But all the joy that this little girl brought to this family for just a short Time is amazing
I'm so sorry. Definitely see a specialist and get all the facts. We are here to support you.
Itching is supposed to be nothing lol my auto correct has been crazy lately
Oh northern this is so bad such sad news so sorry for you and your family, the hospital can offer a trained midwife councillor to talk to please call and find out if your hospital do the same
My only thought about waiting for an amino is at least you will know black and white and never in the future think but maybe.......iykwim?
So sorry you can't talk to dh about it at moment it's not your fault your issue or anything you should feel responsible for its a joint situation and joint sadness try and be open with him as possible I'm sure that's what he wants xxxx
Northern, you're right, you can't really be your husband's support person although i agree with Fish that being able to talk to him will be helpful. Do you have family that could help? Both for emotional and practical support.
After the specialist appointment you'll have access to grief and maybe genetic counselling. I agree that nothing will make any of this better but maybe talking to someone independent and knowledgable may make the process a bit easier.
This must be one of the hardest things ever, I feel so sorry that you and your husband are going through this.
I don't judge you, my pregnancies are terrible and to go through it to the end knowing the baby wouldn't survive anyways I couldn't do it, I couldn't mourn for 20 weeks while i carried him/her and then start all over mourning when I delivered , I would rather go now so the healing process can start now, my heart cries with you, I would take whatever help or counseling they offer, if they don't then I would find some, this is something you need help through and dh can't help you because he is hurting too, I am so sorry this is happening to you, it's not fair, it shouldn't happen to anyone :hugs:
Northern we are all here for you to listen and support you any way we can :( you are never far from my thoughts. I'm so sorry you are going through this.
Fish I have you and your little girl in my thoughts too and pray for the best outcome possible.
Northern my next scan is Tuesday too hoping and praying for two miracles xx
Northern and Fish, I pray Tues brings some better news for you both. You are both in my thoughts constantly.
Northern, we are always here to listen, and offer whatever support we can. But the other ladies are right, seek counselling on a professional level also. That doesnt mean to stop talking to us - we want to offer you support any which way we can. And if it feels right to tell us your thoughts that you just dont have the strength to share with DH we will always be here to listen. But keeping those communication lines open with DH will help both your healing processes in the long run. But understand this takes time, and you must just do everything in your own time. I think I'd be the same as you, not wanting to wait for the amnio, however, just make sure you dont decide on something that later down the track you wished you waited a bit longer to know. But I cant imagine how difficult it must be as the days go on and you feel her move inside you.
I wish I could offer you strength to get through this. But know that you will get through this in time.
Thinking of you x x x
Northern, you have been in my thoughts all night since I read about this yesterday. I am so immensly sorry and I still cannot find any words. I am still praying for a miracle for tuesday and still holding out hope for you.
I do understand though how you feel this is it. I really hope you can get a very good counsellor and the help that you and your DH need to go through this time. I hope you both will also find a way to lean on each other and mourn together, feeling someone is always beside you. This is so tragic, I know there are no words of comfort for this difficult situation. I can only imagine how you are feeling and it makes me cry. Nobody should have to go through this, I am so so sorry you have to. A friend of DH went through almost the same. The baby had Edwards Syndrome and they decided to go through the rest of the pregnancy. That must have been so hard. The baby lived for 10 days if I remember this correctly. I cannot imagine the pain the must have been feeling. And I agree with the others, feeling this little girl inside you every day, going through the rest of the pregnancy would make it so much harder. I would make the very same decision as you.
I am sorry I am not much of a help. We are all here for you if you need emotional support. I wish we could help you in any other way as well. I feel so helpless and just wish I could make it all undone. I am so deeply sorry.
Fish, I am praying for you too!!! I hope you will have good news on Tuesday.
Unbelievable what you both are going through :sad: How are you doing anyways?
I am so sorry :sad:
Hi Ladies hope im ok to join. Im due 18.9 and very excited for my 20 week scan in 2wk+2. My DD was 18 days early so wondering if I go all the way this time.
Just reading through last few days of posts, im new and just want to send my love to Northern & Fish & anyone else with the worries you are going through, cant imagine how you must be feeling. Lifes cruel :(
Welcome to the group :) do you know what your having? I had my first 3 weeks early and my second was a week late :s my third I was induced at 39 I'm hoping to have this one 2 weeks early since my babies are BiG
Northern, I am so sorry you are going through this. I can only imagine how you must be feeling. I'm preying you hear some good news on Tuesday. I'm thinking of you.
Fish. I hope everything goes well at your next scan. It must be such a worrying time.
Just wanted you both to know you have been in my thoughts since reading this and I'm sending you lots of love and hugs.
Longing, good luck for your baby's cardiac scan today.
Welcome ladylaura, did u go for an early gender scan? Or waiting until anatomy scan? Did you sway? I'm sure you'll love our group-some are going through a very tough time right now which pulls at all our heart strings. We've become a very close group, but really looking forward to getting to know you over next 20 odd weeks x x
Hi all, thank you for the warm welcomes, I am waiting until 20 week anatomy scan to find out sex, although im for certain this baby is another DD. I have 1 DD already and would be happy to be blessed with another healthy child. I shall let you all know the gender when we find out :) , we didnt sway either.
Fish and northern, thinking of you both at the min. Really hoping you both get some good news on tuesday.
Welcome ladylaura, I'm still waiting for my 20 week scan too to find out what we are having. Couting down the days :D
Sending good wishes to you aswell today Longing, I hope your little one sails straight through for you xxx
Welcome ladylaura, glad you joined us! We have a great group here :)
Longing, you are in my thoughts today as well. Looking forward to some good news from you!
Thorz, haven't seen you around lately. Hope you're doing ok.
Was just thinking the same thing as you Southern, hope Thorz is doing ok. Haven't seen her on here over Wkend. It's Monday night here and am thinking of Fish and Northern about their scans tomorrow. But I prob won't hear anything until wed morning my time. Sending you positive and strong thoughts to both of you x x x
Yes Longing, am looking forward to some good news. Thinking of you also!! x x
Northern and Fish, I am thinking of both of you!! I am still really hoping for a miracle to happen for you tomorrow...!
Thank you for your thoughts as well!!! I was so nervous today and took DH with me. DH was so childish all the time, and as it turned out later, he was just as scared and nervous as I was. He later said that he kept thinking about what if this baby is a boy after all AND has heart issues we have to deal with, maybe severe ones. But at the scan, there suddenly were no heart problems seen anymore. I asked the tech later on how that could happen, and he said sometimes the heart is not mature enough at that gestation state. I am now so so relieved...
And although I was so nervous for myself, I kept thinking about Fish and Northern. I am praying and hoping you both will get about the same good news that I got today. I am crossing all my fingers for you both. You are in my thoughts all the time. :pray:
Ladylaura, great that you joined us :happy:
So glad you got good news longing and your little one is healthy. Lets hope this is a sign of things to come with northern and fish too and we get more good news tomorrow x
Sorry I've been out lately, this weekend was a crazy chaotic one! All is well with the baby. The chaotic stuff was that I spent the whole weekend moving our CRAP from one room to another room and painting all the baseboards and door frame to get ready for the new carpet!! The carpet guys left about an hour ago, 2 rooms down and two more to go. Now we have to move everything back into these rooms and move everything out of the last two, so i can rip up the carpet and paint the baseboards in the last two rooms and the hallway and the stairs! It's all coming together, and soon I can get started on the fun decorating of the nursery and my older boys got all new furniture too so I get to decorate 2 new rooms! Ugh I'm in lots of pain with my hips but it has to be done! My mom will be here in two weeks and I want everything back in place sowe aren't adding to the chaos!
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I'm still thinking of all you ladies and hoping and praying for the best outcome possible!!! Please keep us updated!
Thank you all for your prayers and hopes, but honestly, there is no good for us. Even if her problems are no worse, then she will still have severe brain damage. Its hard to believe with how hard she kicks me all day!
So, right now I'm just planning on her first outfit, which is difficult finding something for a 21 week baby. Thankfully a few ladies have offered to knit a hat and a cardigan for her. I wish I'd had time to learn to crochet - I was going to crochet her a hat anyway, it would just have to be a lot smaller. I have decided to wrap her in a blanket my grandma knitted for DS2.
We will be having her cremated, and originally was going to spread them under the cherry tree in our garden, but we may be moving soon, so I think I'll buy a rose and put it in a pot so we can take it with us.
Northern, I am very sorry for what you are going through. I cannot imagine and I know you have some tough times ahead.
There is an organization- www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org that offers photography sessions at the hospital free of charge for families like yours that incur an unexpected loss. They have been around for a long time and volunteer photographers from all over provide services.
I know it will be heartbreaking but she is and always will be your daughter and this organization does a beautiful job(I think) of capturing her time here with you.
I will pray for you and your family to see your way through this with grace and some peace.
Northern, I just read your blog and my eyes are filled with tears. So beautifully written, and so so sad. I don't even know what to say. This is all so unfair, so tragic, so sad. It somehow seems to be due to a virus, which would be making me so angry at that women as well. I don't even know how I would cope with that. I am so so sorry, I so wish we could help you in any way. What you are going through is breaking my heart. You are constantly in my thoughts and prayers.
:tissue:
Longing whoop whoop so pleased for you!
Oh Northern my mum said exactly the same to me when i told her about our lill girl - please don't let her lack of faith in you influence your decision. You sound very strong I'm sure if you wanted to try and continue you would be able to cope.
However you should very sure of the path you must go down which although it is horriable sounds right for you and your boys you have a whole family to consider this angel will be at peace and feel no pain, it's you that will deal with all the pain for her and that is so brave and the best thing you a mummy can do for thier babies
so so sad your journey has turned out like this you're in our hearts and prayers, please let us all know if there's anthing we can/you'd like us to do xx
:hugs: are not enough xxx