Glad you got one! They do gender determination free at any scans after 16 weeks so good luck!Quote:
Originally Posted by indigoviolet
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Glad you got one! They do gender determination free at any scans after 16 weeks so good luck!Quote:
Originally Posted by indigoviolet
Maybebabythree - sorry your work is causing you agro, roll on the last few days and hope your bp comes down!
Maybepink - hope you manage to feel better soon, I had an awful few days after hearing boy for the 2nd time and am certain this one is a boy again and keep having down moments by optimistic moments about it being another boy, trying to deal with with it before I have it confirmed! 3 of my friends are pregnant again, 2 already have girls and 1 has a boy but her scan pic looks very girly so I just know it will be me again with all boys and everyone feeling sorry for me.
Anyway, know where your coming from and hope that dark place buggers off soon xx
Oh i so hate that you are suffering so much. Wish i could give you a massive hug. Have yout told dh or are you managing to stay strong around him? XQuote:
Originally Posted by Babymad
Im totally clutching at straws with gender already.... i hate this about swaying! Having general all over cramps but got some tiny sharp pains on my left side briefly last night....could baby be implanting on left... thats girly right?!
Thanks hunnie xxQuote:
Originally Posted by deaks66
i hate feeling like this, really do, I'm driving myself mad let alone anyone else!
DH does know now but I didn't tell him. He saw a message on FB to a hi-tech friend - popped up on the iPad and he read it. It was very detailed about how I was feeling and explained I had been for the scan etc. DH was furious and didn't speak to me for two days!! I was furious too that he had read my messages as they were very personal.
We are ok now and have chatted about it abit, but I still feel very lonely. I don't have anyone in the 'real world' who I can speak to about how I feel. Lots of friends know I would love a girl but no one knows how deep my longing is etc, apart from one friend but I don't see her as much now as her kids are both at school and she works more.
If people ask me if I know the gender I say I saw a willy at my 20 week scan so guessing boy, so at least no one will be shocked when he arrives......just dreading all the pity :(
I know I will love him and I knew that finding out before he was here would be very difficult for me thats why I wasn't keen on doing it. I just can't stop feeling so sad all the time and I am not excited at all....its like the pg is just an inconvenience - dreadful I know!! I know these feelings will ease as time goes on but right now they are hard to deal with everyday. I want the tears to stop and I want to be happy.........
Just off to collect boys...be back shortly...xxx
OH babymad - i know i cant type anything to stop the pain and the upset you are feeling, i so wish I could I really do. I read yours, maybepink and pingas posts and know exactly how you are feeling but that still doesnt make it any better for you. I hope you find comfort in knowing we are here, feeling alone is so hard especially in your own home, there are days when I feel alien to all the men in my life - they are really from another planet. Am sure I will be joining you all in being pregnant with a boy.....I still cant decide to find out or not I might get them to write it down then if i decide I have the choice.
I did find a 3d/4d scan really helped me with ds3 - after my 20wk scan I had so many negative thoughts, why did i bother having another, just wanted it over, just absolute despair this 'thing' was another one of them! I detached myself totally from my pregnancy to try and cope - but once I saw his little face and saw the ds1 excitement it really did help x I think i must have been about 30wks but i remember afterwards beginning to get excited about him and decorating the room etc, although everything was green!! NO BLUE this time I am thinking a red blanket etc NO BLUE. Anyway enough waffling about me - just a thought x
much love to you all struggling x wish i could make it stop x
deaks - FX all is ok try and relax although it is not easy to do x but do try x
chocolate - WOW for free scan awesome news!!!
WAVES to all x x
Thanks Charlie xxx It is great to have you guys to vent too - I'm good at hiding how I feel at times so no one really suspects that I feeling low etc.....just say I'm not feeling great because of being pg etc.Quote:
Originally Posted by charlieispy
DH knows I'm not good and I do feel quite distant from him at the moment, partly because I prefer to deal with things on my own and partly because I feel resentful - not thats his fault but again I can't help how I feel.
The sadness is so strong and hurts so much.....like most of us know.
I really didn't want to know (found out with DS2) and regretted it but I knew I had seen a willy at my 20 week scan and that drove me mad so I needed to know for sure after that. If you can get through your 20 week then I think its doable! I think its best to decide on the day then theres no pressure on anyone xx
I feel very much like you did - detached from the baby and the pregnancy and that was what I was fearing most by finding out as I have been there before too. We haven't discussed names, we hardly talk about the fact that we are having another baby!! I think DH is probably too scared to bring it up incase I flip! The boys love talking about the baby though so they remind us!!
I have booked a 4d scan for Sunday - got a deal so I could justify it. I thought it would be good for all of us to see the baby and for it to be a happy time, hoping the boys will enjoy seeing him.
Its DH's birthday today so its been a little better today.
I appreciate your kind words and support xx
I have good vibes that your little bean is a pink one - really hope its your princess hun xx
Babymad it's ok to feel how you do and I really hope the pain does lessen and that you can come to feel excited soon.
Nothing we can say will help but perhaps knowing your desire and the pain your experiencing can help you to sort your feelings here.
Hugs to you xx
Inglewood hope your scan went well!!
Lmw good luck at your scan Thursday!!
I've got my gender scan on Sunday afternoon, it's all quite scary, starting to feel less excited and more scared lol
Ds2 is not very well, I had a call from my childminder this afternoon asking if I could collect him as he's been quite sick sleepy. As soon as I picked him up for a cuddle he threw up in my hands lol
Poor little thing is so sad, best bit is all the cuddles silver lining I suppose.
I feel like a terrible mum tho, this morning he was so naughty not listening, running away and generally being 2.5years old I lost it and really shouted, now I don't know if he was just not feeling well, bad mummy!
Its stressful isn't it! Try and enjoy the pg for awhile rather than obsessing over the gender as its took so long for you to get your little bean :) What did your DH say??Quote:
Originally Posted by deaks66
I was reflecting on my sway yesterday - why I don't know! And apart from a couple of things I really thought we had a good chance of pink. all my pains were on the left hand side which made me think...oh good girly signs!
I did the diet 100% for 6 months and stuck to the rules for another 2-3 months with the odd treat. But I never ate before 12pm for nearly 9 months and I never ate potatoes or banana's or anything boy friendly for the whole time we were swaying. I cut out cereal, diet coke, everything!!! All I ate was what was on the girl diet plan and I'm a veggie too!
Timing wasn't great but then they say thats not that important! And we did BD after Ov too.
My PH was always under 4.5 and mostly under 4.
So why why why didn't it bloody work!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry rant over!
I have seen swaying work for lots of people in all my years of trying to get my DG! So stay positive and I really hope its your turn to hear pink :)
xx
Chocolate ~ Hugs that you've been feeling down too, when is your scan?
Maybe ~ I hope your BP isn't up tomorrow, I would get signed off from work too, Dave is defo the priority...not work!!
Charlie ~ Great news about the car!
Kell ~ GL with your scan :)
Indigo ~ How are you feeling now?
Sunset ~ Hope Serena is doing well x
Petal ~ Hope your little man is better soon x
Hope everyone else is doing ok x
Inglewood ~ Hope your scan goes well - enjoy :)
Babymad, im so glad you are venting to us because its such a lonely thing gd. So sorry dh had to find out that way and that you have had a tough time working through it all with him. I guess thats always going to be the way though as guys just wont quite understand how we feel. I know my dh doesnt get my gd at all and will even be a bit cross with me if i dont get over it fairly quickly which makes it harder as you feel you have a time pressure to get over your feelings. Its such a shame you dont live closer as id make you a big cuppa, get the choccy biscuits out and have a good old cry with you!
You are right too, i know i should be enjoying my pg but the swaying has made me more obsessive over gender than i reckon i would have been had i just ttc normally. Am 100% convinced its a boy and keep having to remind myself how i felt when i went through that horrid first chemical...i would have given anything to keep that baby regardless of gender. Why do we let those feelings get replaced by gd so easily. Its so annoying!
Your sway was great hun, it really was but i think someone up there has different ideas for us sometimes. When i look at photos of you and your gorgeous boys, i think there is wonderful a reason why you have lots of boys...so there are lots of handsome men in the world for the future. And like i said before, not all mums would be so good around boys. Some wouldnt know where to start and you are a natural!
Please keep talking to us about this! Much love X
Deaks I don't know what's worse with regards to dh/dp and having a dg or not.
My dp wants a little girl as much if not more than me and the pressure I feel to produce his princess is really immense!
Just now we were discussing the scan, we are forecast more snow this weekend but it's to early to know for sure how much or when. So at the moment I'm not sure if we will get to this scan.
I know he says things in jest but he said if its not a girl he won't talk to me and that he might sell the baby!
Now I know he's just being stupid, but I know he is desperate for a girl and that he will have some resentment toward me I think if we don't hear pink!
It's just a little to much but I can't say I won't feel gutted if I don't hear pink! I suppose atleast we will understand each other possibly. But I worry about the possible effects it may have on our relationship :(
Ah babymad. Sorry it's still very raw but it really is still early days. I did cope well at my scan then burst into tears after while shopping. Felt like some one died at the time. Sounds crazy to people who don't get gd but by dream of a dd had literally died, I had always thought I would have a dd since I was a kid. That's a lot to get over because as mums our kids are our world. All our hopes and dreams for them and there future. They are the sun and we revolve around them.
For me what makes it ok is that dave was hard to conceive and my last chance. I have that to remind me he was meant to be as a he'll of a lot of tears was shed waiting for him. My body was not meant to be pg. I don't think I have the chance to try again so I am done and we are complete. Not the way I dreamed it would be but complete as the same. The was a hole missing in our lives but dave has filled it.
It is hard, keep talking to us and you too maybe. Thinking of you xxxx
Maybebaby- what you wrote was lovely, so true. At least we all understand and can be a support for eachother. I love how positive you are about little Dave, so glad you got to that place. he's going to be a little star, can't wait to meet him! :HH:
really? does it say that on their site? I wans't sure if I'd be able to find out as it was a free scan. omg so nervous now!!Quote:
Originally Posted by chocolate
I know what you mean, sometimes I feel almost fine about this being a boy but that is because there is still hope for a girl, once I know for sure I think it will be a LOT harder. One good reason not to find out I guess. I do feel like I need to get over it whilst still pg if it is a boy to save getting depressed at the birth. Gosh I don't know....Quote:
Originally Posted by deaks66
I'm sure you will be fine, try not to worry although I know it is easier said than done, I worried a LOT too. Praying it will be fine with your little bean :HH:
[QUOTE=chocolate;141771
Anyway, know where your coming from and hope that dark place buggers off soon xx[/QUOTE]
Amen to that!
Ahhh you brought tears to my eyes reading this.... Thanks, means a lot to hear such nice things.Quote:
Originally Posted by deaks66
I agree we need to remind ourselves of what we did to conceive these beans and how wanted they were... And still are!!
Maybe~ so pleased you are in such a good place. So lovely to hear xx
I always feel better when I've talked you guys, maybe I need a daily rant on here ;)
Thanks again for everyone's support - really does help xxx
That's what we are here for. I really wish there was a pill or a switch to turn that longing off. I think for me it will always be there, there's no point lying to myself. But like the longing for brad Pitt, it's not going to happen so I can file it away at the back of my mind to gather dust rather than have it on my mind everyday
you rant away Babymad, that's what we are here for :HH:
:agree:Quote:
Originally Posted by indigoviolet
Hi girls...
Firstly Congratulations Deaks!!! I'm so very happy for you!!! FX for a pink happy PG x
Babymad and Maybepink - Huge HUGS! Its a hard time isn't it? Sometimes I forget about it completely and then I remember and its like a wave of overwhelming sadness... Swaying is hard because it sets us up for a harder fall when it doesn't work - we put so much into it, and get our hopes/expectations up and its a long way down!
I find it hardest when I think about when they are older and I am the odd one out. Men just think differently (look at our DHs). I don't have any female influence in my life anymore - no mum (never had a grandmother), not close to my sister... so it feels lonely in my world. I remember after I lost my Dad and then had Ernie, I went through this phase of wanting to find myself a lonely old person to be a surrogate grandparent... but more because I was missing having someone from that generation in my life to go to for advice and to talk to. I never did... but I still might :D Its basically grief what we are dealing with and it takes time. Sometimes its hard to just get up and get on with things and other days its ok. I suppose I've dealt with a lot of grief over the last few years and I guess this is easier to deal with... while we are grieving the loss of a daughter there is a silver lining because we are gaining a gorgeous little boy who will look to us as the centre of their world.
I am still tearing up at random moments and I feel overwhelming jealousy of people with girls... generally I think I'm coping. The weird thing is, the day that we found out he was a boy I knew what his name was going to be. It was as though that was always going to be his name. I'm not keen on choosing names before birth - I like going in with a choice of a couple at least. But I can't think of any other name without saying... no that's not right, I know his name is..... Its helped.
babymad - its good that your DH knows. Just look after yourself... its a lonely lonely place to be. DHs never really understand how it hangs over us all the time. Men are too practical I think.
babymad and maybepink - feel free to PM if you want to talk/vent/wail... :)
Has anyone seen a program called 4 sons vs 4 daughters. The parents swapped for a weekend. The boy mum was absolutely lovely. I think she must have wanted a daughter but was happy and content with her boys and they were gorgeous kids (youngest was 8). The girl mum was one of those slightly annoying people that say ohhh I wouldn't have wanted 4 boys (as though there is something wrong with them). I thought it was interesting that the boy mum was just so lovely and accepting and the girl mum was pretty useless. So We boy mums are WONDERFUL!
I was at the doctors today and as we were finishing up DS1 had climbed onto my lap and for no reason kept giving me kisses on my cheek. Sometimes they melt your heart...
Aw it wasnt my intention to bring you anymore tears but im so glad you feel supported. And definately feel free to rant away! xQuote:
Originally Posted by Babymad
Ah maybe, definatly get signed off work! They arent treating you right so sod them!!
Oh babymad, feeling your pain hun, all i can say is it will get easier, i promise you! although i understand only too well that at the moment you are hurting :-(( hugs to you x x x
Pinga... LOVE your little baby grow!! i zoomed in on the pic to try and see where you brought it from and then remembered you are in Oz!!! D'oh!! lol. Hope you are keeping well :-)) x x
It was a great program! I agree the boy mum was so lovely. One thing I remember was that her house was immaculate (unlike the girl house) and she said she didn't want people to think just because she had boys her house would be a tip. She trained them to tidy up after themselves and help loads around the house. A great idea!Quote:
Originally Posted by pinga
Boy mums are wonderful!!
Glad you ladies have here to offload it's so hard having GD and I do think the men in our lives find it harder to understand. But the sadness is only for a short while and you will have a gorgeous little baby at the end and that's the most important part.
I had a really strange dream last night I had a baby who would have been about 9months and I dressed her in boys clothes and I had to keep checking her nappy to check she was a girl. Someone asked me what her name was and I couldn't remember my mind went blank of all girls names let alone my babies name. It was really very, very strange!
Rang up and got my blood results this a.m and it came back that I had a really low white count which I wasn't suprised about as I keep getting really sick. I got a coldsore before going away and I only get them when my immune sytem is really low. Yesterday I had to call DP back from work as I couldn't get the boys dressed and fed! I was freezing and had the shakes a massive headache and kept blacking out. Then I managed to sleep it off and it turned into hot sweats. It was horrible. Feel much better today.
Not too conclusive R.E hormones going to do day 21 bloods when my next cycle starts. I'm starting to think that my midcycle spotting was a really unusual out of the blue very light period. So should start my next cycle in a couple of days. The Dr. agrees as this cycle is dragging far too long to be a regular cycle.
Hi all x
I am glad we have each other - i feel so much more supported and understood this pregnancy than with ds3 I am totally trying to convince myself this is a boy and my head does say boy.....as did my intuition JUST after we DTD I thought we had done it eg BFP but lay awake for 2 hours thinking omg i am pregnant and its a boy.....i just lay there and prayed to my great auntie for a girl!! 1 week till scan......think i will get them to write it down in a card then if i choose to know i have that option x also if i think i see something i may ask
Inglewood - hope the scan went well x
I know scans are booked for friday and sunday.............
LMW - thougt there was one on thursday - hope all goes well tomorrow hope you get a nub shot too :D and its girly!!!!
Kell you are sunday?? and babymad?? Yay for sunday scans anyone else sorry my brain is frazzled!
Hi everyone. I'm sorry I'm not writing personals to everyone, just feeling so crap at the moment. Big {hugs} to Babymad and Maybepink and anybody else who needs them x
hugs for feeling crap x i think i am getting another cold feel SHITE no dinner sorted for us or the boys piles of washingeverywhere and no energy to do it
Charlie dito I could have written that! Loads of clean washing from suitcases building on the kitchen table. House a tip. DS2 got hold of the toiletroll I was nursing and decided to shred it!! Managed tuna pasta bake for DP and boys for tea, super easy store cupboard tea!Quote:
Originally Posted by charlieispy
Couldn't face actually cooking.
Hope you and Zancal feel better soon. Well hope we all do :)
Fed up of damn bloody colds had more than my share already this year and it's only Febuary!
I managed rice cheese and peas for the boys .....dont ask its a family fav!! Then pulled my finger out and made a butternut squash curry with chickpeas and coconut for DH to say he had a curry pot thing for lunch and he would just have rice cheese and peas :/
That's funny, I just had Mexican Rice (Uncle Bens's lol!) with cheese for my dinner!
Attachment 1381
Sorry for bombarding you all with pictures, but i'm such a proud mama :D Here she is this evening! enjoying her bath :HH: I can't believe my baby is 5 weeks already!
Inglewood how did your scan go?
Babymad hope you're enjoying your birthday and that you've been spoiled rotten! :)
Kell good luck on sunday! i can't believe you're 15 weeks already!
i'm sorry to hear so many of you are poorly at the moment.. i'm lucky and haven't got a cold at the minute, but i'm sure it'll be my turn soon!
5 weeks where did that go?? gorg photo x x :D
LMW good luck x x
hope you girls are feeling a tad better!!! times a healer and by the time you have your boys you will be so happy!!!
sunset she is an absolute cutie!!! u have every reason to be so proud!!!
Have my scan this afty, slightly nervous! will keep you posted but havent got the internet at home. wont lie that i wont be looking for clues but think i will be too scared to ask for nub shots.
deaks - how are you feeling! has being pg sunk in yet?