My heart is just torn up and broken for you Northern! I wish I had words for you! I wish I could make it better! Please know we are here for you!
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My heart is just torn up and broken for you Northern! I wish I had words for you! I wish I could make it better! Please know we are here for you!
Northen, please please don't consider what I'm about to say as me trying to rocking the boat... It's just a friend of mine's younger brother was in a car accident and the accident resulted in brain damage. The thing is though he is really fine, he is grown up now and has a child of his own. He is happy and has a wonderful life. Another friend also was in a car accident and suffered severe brain damage, he walks a bit funny and stutters but he is lovely and has a great life. He is very adored. I know it's not the same because both if these were accidents that happened after years of normal life. But the thing is it makes you think, if someone you care about became brain damaged as a result of an accident you'd still want them around...
I guess what I'm trying to say is maybe try and get as much info as to what her quality of life etc would be. What you are going through is heartbreaking and yet unimaginable so I suspect far more heartbreaking than I could even possibly comprehend but the only thing worse would be to live with the regret of a choice you made that you can't change. I'm sure you'll give it lots of thought and come to whatever decision is right of you. I just wanted to be an objective perspective. I don't doubt that finding any clarity in your desperate position is next to impossible.
I'm terrible terribly sorry!
Northern, I remember being in the ttc boards with you last Autumn and I just want to let you know that I'm thinking of you and your family everyday. {{HUGS}}
I agree with tree...
As a mother of two disabled children... They bring so much happiness to my life I couldn't imagine life without them and wouldnt trade them for and nerotypical child... I don't think anyone gets pregnant and hopes for a disabled child... It happens... even if her life is terribly short... She will bring you happiness she will make you smile laugh and cry... She will be beautiful and perfect no matter how short of a time she is here... She will teach you so much!
I do understand that you have to make the right decision for your family...
There are so many disabilities that are not visable on u/s... My brother had a baby 3 years ago and all the ultrasounds were fine she came out def, blind, fluid on her brain... She had 10 brain surgeries in her first year she will never walk or talk... Having babies is risky buisness... I was terrified to have my current preganancy
I am praying sooooo hard for good news for you!
And fish you are always in my thoughts as well! I'm praying so hard for you both
Oh Northern I am so so sorry... please don't blame yourself. I know it's natural, but this is one of those terrible coincedences that is beyond your control.Quote:
Originally Posted by nuthinbutpink
The organization that nbp refered you to is wonderful. I had a similiar experience with my first son... While you may not want those photos any time soon, I promise you one day they will be important to you. I couldn't bare to look at mine for almost a year after, but it was a very important part of the healing process for me.
I couldn't belive that fate/god was so cruel to me for a long time... but eventually I made sense of my loss (as much as one could I suppose). Now, I volunteer with a group that helps women who are in the position I once was. It has done wonders for my healing process.
I just want you to know I will be thinking of you... I hope you find peace :hugs:
Nuthinbutpink - thank you for the link, I really didn't think there would be any in the UK and am very pleasently surprised that there are quite a few, even some in our area. The photographer part of me thinks that it would be a lovely thing to do for people, but I know after this, it would affect me greatly. Maybe in time. I don't know if my husband would want someone else there though, he's really struggling with the fact that I want to end this with a labour, he'd rather me go for the surgical route, but the thought of what they'd do to her would destroy me. I want her treated with dignity.
Im so sorry for what you are going through Northern! Please know that we are all thinking of you and will be here with you every step of the way to help in any way possible. Even if it is just to listen!!
Im excited to annouce that my ultrasound is scheduled for Wednesday at 11...two more days!! Ohh the nerves! :)
I think you're so brave to do it this way it sounds much more fitting for that lovely lill girl, keep us posted tomorrow what time do you go in? XQuote:
Originally Posted by Northern_Shutterbug
Sorry just to say northern I know a family in a similar situation who had a short service for their lill girl I know your not mega religious but maybe that would feel right?
Northern I am so sorry with everything that is going on with you and your little one. I really hope your DH is supportive of your decision to give birth. I think I would want to do the same thing. My heart is breaking for you and your family and I can't even begin to imagine what you are going though. Big hugs :hugs:
I would deliver if you decide to go that route. Surgery has risks always. I know here, after 20 weeks, an induction is protocol. A C-section is done past 20 weeks here if a baby is lost after that point and the induction fails.
I had a family member that lost a baby at 20 weeks and they induced her. It took 2 days for contractions to begin and she was able to deliver the baby but had it gone on any longer, they would have performed a c-section on her.
I would certainly consult with specialists and make sure you are okay with going forward and do not have any what-ifs left.
I know others have special needs children and I have a mildly affected child but it does change things. Everyone is impacted- me, my DH, her siblings, it impacts them all and there have been unexpected beautiful moments and also WTF moments along the way.
I do shudder to think if I had found out about my daughter's condition prior to giving birth. What I read on the Internet is NOT my daughter. Not even close. Lots of information is out there and what I have learned is the worst-case scenario is what gets posted. People with children that are mildly affected by a particular syndrome or disease do not share their stories. There are very few (if any) positive stories on the Internet about my child's issue yet I have met several parents that have the same situation as I.
Just don't rely on the Internet for your information I guess is all I am saying.
Google is the devil! Never google anything you will only ever see worst cases!
Longing, that's great news!
Northern, I'll be thinking of you for your next appointment. I hope it goes smoothly and the decisions you need to make are clear cut.
Salsa, I think for the rest of us September ladies you should get yourself scanned at work! We all need some good news.
Northern, I'm at a loss for words. I just can't believe you are having to deal with this. Will they be doing the amnio tomorrow? I really hope so as you can never rely solely on an ultrasound for a definitive diagnosis. Even though we are at 20 weeks, these babies are still pretty small and scans can very easily be off by several millimeters if not more. And in your case, that can make a big difference. I find it odd that they didn't ask you in for a second scan after they told you to go have a drink.
I hope my words aren't making this even harder on you. But as the others have said, you want to get as much solid and reliable information as you can before making any decisions. Google really does make everything sound worse.
I know you've already touched on how you want to bring this little girl into the world, what to dress her in, etc, but I won't go there yet! Miracles do happen and I am praying for one tonight.
Lots of love to you.
Northern, I just read your news. My whole heart goes out to you. I can't imagine what you're going through. :( I haven't had a chance to read the last few pages but I just want to say that ultimately you will know in your heart what is best for you and your family, and none of our opinions here are relevant compared to that, aside from the fact that we all care for you and feel for you, and will support you through whatever happens. You're in my thoughts, both of you. Xxx
Fish, still crossing everything for you.
Longing, so very glad for you.
Hi ladies I know I'm not part of this thread but dint want to read and run!
I am so sorry to hear your news!
Northern, I can't began to understand what you are going through or how you are feeling. I pray that you are given the strength to deal with the situation and that you find peace in any decision you make. You are in my thoughts!
Fish I hope it all goes well today! You are also in my thoughts!
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Fish - I just wanted to say good luck to you at today's scan. I hope it is better than what we know our prognosis will be.
Northern and fish,
I'm in a different due date group, but spent time with both of you when we were ttc. I just want to say that I'm thinking of you both. My words are few, but you've both been on my mind constantly since I read your posts.
I think you have a scan today fish? I will be stalking to see how it went.
Northern...HUGE HUGS for you and your beautiful family.
Hey so more bad news bloods came back positive for toxoplasmosis so this whole thing is my fault, I guess this twin will now die too and it's entirely my own fault I really don't understand how this has happened I hate animals especially cats I never touch animals at farms or stuff or people's pets I haven't done any gardening I just don't understand I've lost babies and its all my own fault
Northern hoping today may bring you better news
I also have an anterior placenta which I guess is why I don't feel so much movement
Northern and fish, thinking of you both today and praying you hear some reassuring news. Bigs hugs go out to you both x
I'm now suffereing with food poisoning and feel terrible. I can bearly keep water down but hoping its short lived. If i'm the same tomorro ill be going to A+E as i'm getting some terrible pains in my bump, bad times :tissue:
Fish this is not your fault at all! You can get toxoplasmosis from unwashed fruit and veg, some meats and even water!Quote:
Originally Posted by fish2012
Can they give you antibiotics?
Oh fish:( You cannot think like that. They're are unseen bacteria everywhere! My little DD picked up a germ from possibly dust! and she is still on long term antibiotic treatment after 15 months. Money, toys, everywhere. I pray that your little lady stays safe and they can treat the infection if its still in your system. xxxxxx
O fish did they give any prognosis?
I'm so sorry!
No they didn't say anything really so guess its not good ;-(
Have you been put on antibiotics?
Do you know when you were infected?
If your not getting answers talk to another dr ASAP!
Fish, I'm so sorry to hear it. Have you had the scan? Did it show anything else?
I'm waiting for my scan now, I'm shaking and feel sick. I just wish neither of us were in this situation :tissue:
Fish i'm so sorry you heard bad news. You really shouldnt blame yourself, you could of picked the bug up from anywhere, you couldnt have possibly known. Did they say if the infection it treatable? Thinking of you x
Fish I am so sorry it wasn't good news. Have you been referred to a specialist or given an idea for prognosis?? I've done some reseach and it seems like many babies can be born unaffected but will need long term treatment on antibiotics. I hope you get some more information soon, not knowing has got to be the worst part. I just can't believe this is happening! Praying for you and your baby girl, stay strong little one!!!!
Northern, you've been in my thoughts all weekend. I'm just at a loss for words when it comes to something so tragic as this.
I am thinking of you both every minute.
Fish, most people get toxoplasmosis from completely unknown places and not cats, farms, etc. Please do not blame yourself!!!!
Fish I am so sorry to hear that you have Toxoplasmosis. Please don't think that this is your fault. It is impossible for you to have known that you had been infected or where it came from. It could have been anywhere and I am sure if you knew you would have avoided that situation. I am so sorry you are going though this. Please keep us updated with what is going on and if they can treat with antibiotics.
Hi all did some Internet based research and then called my community midwife in the uk they are the only person you see if you have a low risk pregnancy and cried :-( and asked about does it cause cysts as I can't find on the Internet it does, why aren't I on antibiotics and will this baby die if other did? She called hospital and apparently the test I had shows I have had toxoplasmosis in my life time if you pray please pray it was before 3 dec - the blood has now gone to London where they can determine whether the infection is current ie needing antibiotics and a worry or old so okay - ugh this lill lady is a drama queen for sure!
Northern pretty pissed off with scan tbh, sonographer wasn't v nice she checked heart and fluid around baby both normal said she wouldn't do other mmts as at George's had done them already! Literally 2min 1 dodgy pic and no bedside manner ;-(. Bad day today whilst I've had worse news today was worst day care wise ;-(
Have you had yours yet? Xx
Fish it is highly highly likely that what they found is antibodies from when you had it, most likely a long time ago!! It's so incredible common to have had it.Quote:
Originally Posted by fish2012
Did you have a scan today then? And they didn't check for the cysts? When I was worried about spotting the other day I called mi hospital and they told me that St George's in tooting have a drop in clinic, as in you don't have to make an appointment!? Might be worth looking into. It's totally unfair to leave you with all this worry!!
Northern I hope you are alright!!
We have just left the hospital and as predicted its not good news, and a miracle didn't happen. Our little Evelyn hasn't improved in regards to the swelling in her brain, which means she'd had severe disabilities. But also the fluid around her stomach has got worse and with the heart abnormalities it suggests she is in heart failure. The dr doubts she'd last the pregnancy.
So, we go back tomorrow to have the tablets, which I don't know what they're for to be honest. I thought they were to stop her heart but apparently not. Then I am back on Friday morning to be induced.
I won't go into more details as its distressing but I thought I'd update you.
Tree st George's is amazing! That's where I go for next scan on 7 may they are brilliant this was at my local hospital tbh I understand she said her machine wasn't as good as there's she could only see one cyst but that didn't mean other one had gone just she could see it due to equipment lie of baby etc and it was soon to do mmts again. Both I understand but she was rude with it which tbh I don't need ;-(
I had a previous scan without mmt for same reason but sonographer was lovely and explained its like loosing weigh you should t way too often they shouldn't measure too often ;-s
Fish it is very very likely you were infected awhile ago. Tons of people have been infected with Toxo and don't know it unless they are tested for the antibodies. The antibodies will give you and your baby protection against future infection. I don't think having the antibodies is bad news as all. Let us know what your testing shows for a current infection but I am sure you will be negative. Sorry you are going through all this stress and hopefully it is all for nothing and baby is fine.
If its just antibodies from previous toxoplasmosis you don't need to ever worry about getting it. You and baby are effectively immunised. Ok not too long until st George's, that's good. And though I'm sure we can't read too much into it due to equipment etc its good only one cyst could be seen today.
Northern I'm so sorry there was no miracle today. I'm utterly heartbroken for you. I hope all goes as well as it can over the next few days.
I am so sorry Northern. There are no words for something like this. I am so sorry!! You and your little one are in my thoughts constantly.
Fxfxfx northern! I wish I could give you a real hug at the moment!
Fish and Northern I just hope you can find comfort in something, whatever it maybe, I hope you can find peace, and comfort during such hard times!
Northern I'm so sorry for this news my thoughts are with you what a tough time for you so so sorry xxx
Northern I have no words to express how utterly sad I am for you right now :( my heart is broken for you xxx
You will stay in my thoughts and prayers :(