September 2013 babies!!

[Thorz300]

My heart is just torn up and broken for you Northern! I wish I had words for you! I wish I could make it better! Please know we are here for you!

[Tree]

Northen, please please don't consider what I'm about to say as me trying to rocking the boat... It's just a friend of mine's younger brother was in a car accident and the accident resulted in brain damage. The thing is though he is really fine, he is grown up now and has a child of his own. He is happy and has a wonderful life. Another friend also was in a car accident and suffered severe brain damage, he walks a bit funny and stutters but he is lovely and has a great life. He is very adored. I know it's not the same because both if these were accidents that happened after years of normal life. But the thing is it makes you think, if someone you care about became brain damaged as a result of an accident you'd still want them around...
I guess what I'm trying to say is maybe try and get as much info as to what her quality of life etc would be. What you are going through is heartbreaking and yet unimaginable so I suspect far more heartbreaking than I could even possibly comprehend but the only thing worse would be to live with the regret of a choice you made that you can't change. I'm sure you'll give it lots of thought and come to whatever decision is right of you. I just wanted to be an objective perspective. I don't doubt that finding any clarity in your desperate position is next to impossible.
I'm terrible terribly sorry!

[Dreamofpink]

Northern, I remember being in the ttc boards with you last Autumn and I just want to let you know that I'm thinking of you and your family everyday. {{HUGS}}

[Wanting-a-girl]

I agree with tree...
As a mother of two disabled children... They bring so much happiness to my life I couldn't imagine life without them and wouldnt trade them for and nerotypical child... I don't think anyone gets pregnant and hopes for a disabled child... It happens... even if her life is terribly short... She will bring you happiness she will make you smile laugh and cry... She will be beautiful and perfect no matter how short of a time she is here... She will teach you so much!

I do understand that you have to make the right decision for your family...

There are so many disabilities that are not visable on u/s... My brother had a baby 3 years ago and all the ultrasounds were fine she came out def, blind, fluid on her brain... She had 10 brain surgeries in her first year she will never walk or talk... Having babies is risky buisness... I was terrified to have my current preganancy

I am praying sooooo hard for good news for you!

And fish you are always in my thoughts as well! I'm praying so hard for you both

[Charlee]

Northern, I am very sorry for what you are going through. I cannot imagine and I know you have some tough times ahead.

There is an organization- www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org that offers photography sessions at the hospital free of charge for families like yours that incur an unexpected loss. They have been around for a long time and volunteer photographers from all over provide services.

I know it will be heartbreaking but she is and always will be your daughter and this organization does a beautiful job(I think) of capturing her time here with you.

I will pray for you and your family to see your way through this with grace and some peace.

Oh Northern I am so so sorry... please don't blame yourself. I know it's natural, but this is one of those terrible coincedences that is beyond your control.

The organization that nbp refered you to is wonderful. I had a similiar experience with my first son... While you may not want those photos any time soon, I promise you one day they will be important to you. I couldn't bare to look at mine for almost a year after, but it was a very important part of the healing process for me.

I couldn't belive that fate/god was so cruel to me for a long time... but eventually I made sense of my loss (as much as one could I suppose). Now, I volunteer with a group that helps women who are in the position I once was. It has done wonders for my healing process.

I just want you to know I will be thinking of you... I hope you find peace

[Northern_Shutterbug]

Nuthinbutpink - thank you for the link, I really didn't think there would be any in the UK and am very pleasently surprised that there are quite a few, even some in our area. The photographer part of me thinks that it would be a lovely thing to do for people, but I know after this, it would affect me greatly. Maybe in time. I don't know if my husband would want someone else there though, he's really struggling with the fact that I want to end this with a labour, he'd rather me go for the surgical route, but the thought of what they'd do to her would destroy me. I want her treated with dignity.

[4Giffins]

Im so sorry for what you are going through Northern! Please know that we are all thinking of you and will be here with you every step of the way to help in any way possible. Even if it is just to listen!!

Im excited to annouce that my ultrasound is scheduled for Wednesday at 11...two more days!! Ohh the nerves!

[fish2012]

Nuthinbutpink - thank you for the link, I really didn't think there would be any in the UK and am very pleasently surprised that there are quite a few, even some in our area. The photographer part of me thinks that it would be a lovely thing to do for people, but I know after this, it would affect me greatly. Maybe in time. I don't know if my husband would want someone else there though, he's really struggling with the fact that I want to end this with a labour, he'd rather me go for the surgical route, but the thought of what they'd do to her would destroy me. I want her treated with dignity.

I think you're so brave to do it this way it sounds much more fitting for that lovely lill girl, keep us posted tomorrow what time do you go in? X

[fish2012]

Sorry just to say northern I know a family in a similar situation who had a short service for their lill girl I know your not mega religious but maybe that would feel right?

[WantingPink]

Northern I am so sorry with everything that is going on with you and your little one. I really hope your DH is supportive of your decision to give birth. I think I would want to do the same thing. My heart is breaking for you and your family and I can't even begin to imagine what you are going though. Big hugs