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If you have more than two of one gender then get an opposite, the entire world feels it's their responsibility to tell you your baby 'needs' a same sex sibling, yet people with pigeon pairs are told they have the perfect family and yet neither of their kids has a same-sex sibling. So what's up with that?
Why is it that people have an opinion and a need to share it about the gender makeup of another person's family at all?? Especially when it's something that most of us don't really get to choose anyway. AND because someone's perfect family makeup can be the complete opposite of another person's (as we have seen on these boards many times). It's frankly none of their business.
A few weeks ago my friend told me that she "doesn't agree with people having more than 2-3 kids." I had to laugh (because it's so stupid!) and asked her what made her imagine that she would get a vote on the number of kids me and DH had? I mean, seriously!
I totally agree, RedCanoe! I remember after ds3 was born I kept having strangers peer rudely into my stroller and say 'too bad it wasn't a girl'. People can be so rude!
I can't believe ppl could really do that! Your DS3 is so gorgeous too...how could anyone look at his face and not see a precious and beautiful baby but worry about gender?
I feel the pressure already for us to have a 4th and have a 2nd DD to give her 1st DD a "sister" since my "two boys" have each other. I'm not even sure we'll have a 4th, if we'll even sway girl, or boy (DH really does want a 3rd son), or if I'll do nothing and see where the cards lie.
Still, I can't believe that...there is nothing wrong with your daughter havign 3 older brothers to love her!
Honestly, it's all so absurd anyway! What our kids *need* is to be part of a loving family, and that is what they have. End of story.
Kids are people, not some doll you can put into a neat little category. They come with their own personalities and will bond with who they bond in the family. There is no guarantee that two of the same gender will bond better or two that are closest in age or whatever. You could have another DD a year or two after the first one, but DD#1 could end up having most in common with her oldest brother and be the closest to him and not get along at all with DD#2.
I agree. Besides, I grew up with 3 older brothers, and I had a great childhood!
If this is confirmed girl she won't have a sister. I'm d-o-n-e!!
In the situation where you have 2 + 1 people may see you in the light "you have 3, whats 1 more" and to have 2 of each would be even more perfect than the perfect pair. The people making these comments wouldn't dare approach a PP family and tell them they got it wrong, and they need to have another 2. Its like a PP family is seen as "complete and finished with children" so i dont really see it as a negative, PP families probably wonder why other peoples children always seem to get commented on, and theirs don't.
If mine is a girl or boy.. They ain't getting another sibling either! I will never re live the 1st half of pregnancy again... And pretty sure there's no way to just do the 2nd half lol! Yuk
Oh yeah, I'm definitely DONE after this little girl is born, and we would have been done even if it were a boy.
I totally agree RC!! I know tons of sisters who are always at each other's throats and then brothers and sisters who are super close.
I love hearing this! :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Mochagirl
Back when I had GD with DS 3 I was hoping for twin girls super desperately or that maybe just maybe DS 4 would be a girl, and then I could have an oopsie girl because I was wanting DD to have a sister. But now that it's all come to pass, I'm actually feeling very fortunate that I didn't get two girls because I don't feel like there will be the girls vs. Mom club or the boys vs. girls club - I just want to have as positive an experience with the little three as I did with the first two (my older sons) without any divisiveness.
I wonder why people think it's their business anyway? Strangers should keep their mouth shut. I'm talking to you, cashier at the grocery store, who keeps saying she can't believe how old I am. Okay, I get it. Now shut up.
My dd and ds2 are becoming sweet little buddies. (And this was the same boy who said he 'didn't like the new baby' when she was born :P). I agree RedCanoe! Why do people stress out about other people's family make-up in general? My BIL said to me that dd was going to be 'the only girl -she needs a sister... every kid should have a sibling the same gender as them' :mad:Quote:
Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush
He has two boys, and they fight like cats and dogs! What makes him so sure that that a kid will even get along with a sibling the same gender as them?
Mocha, your girl doesn't need a sister - she has you to share a female bond with, and her brothers to play with.
People are rude! They expect a "family" consists of a mom, dad, brother and sister. How ignorant!
ARGH Yuzu, some people should be covered in honey and sat on an anthill until they behave themselves!!!
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I agree W4D - if someone had said to me years ago - "You will only have 3 kids, mixed genders" I would have picked exactly what I'm going to (hopefully!) have - B, B, G.. even in that order. I'm not saying G, G, B would have been bad because any family makeup will work, I just like the idea of boys having a brother..
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Favourite comment from friend of DH on passing me his new born baby girl to cuddle, you should have a girl liz.....doing my best ;-0 but sometimes it's hard not to cry if only life were so simple!
Same here! And although I would have loved a little sister, I just befriended all the other girls in the neighbourhood instead!Quote:
Originally Posted by Mochagirl
Yuzu, I had a man tell me how big I was with DS1 (because you really want someone saying that in those last few weeks). I asked him how many weeks he was! Honestly, take a look in the mirror you rude people!!
The only comments that really bother me are the "which one of you is getting fixed?" questions.
I had to laugh--do people even think before they speak?:rolleyes:Quote:
Originally Posted by PeonyPrincess
I get people telling me that my DD now needs a sister "with all those big brothers...poor thing". I just laugh it off and tell them we are done, but I always feel the need to mention that we wanted 4 and if she was a boy we were still done--which is the truth. I too have people peering into my stroller to see what she is when they see me out and about with three boys. the funny thing is a lot of the time she's wearing gender neutral onesies since it's so hot here and i just make them wonder :) only a few have had the nerve to ask!
oh yeah and my SIL's boyfriend actually asked if I want to become octomom when I was pregnant!?? WTF!
Congratulations!!
There are definitely some inconsiderate and rude people on the planet, but I actually believe that most of the time those comments from strangers are just people trying to be friendly and strike up conversation. Do they end up sticking their foot in their mouths? Yes. Would it probably have been better if they hadn't? Yes. But I can't believe that most people actually intend to be offensive. They just don't think.
I hope that's the truth of it anyway, sad world if they all mean to be a#*holes.
Several people have told me they hope this baby is a boy so DS could have a brother. Yes, I agree, that was one of the reasons I wanted another boy. But what really bothers me are the comments like, "Oh, your poor DS and DH if this is another girl!" like their lives will be AWFUL if there isn't another boy in the family! I did what I could, I swayed, and I am going to have plenty of GD on my own if the sway didn't work (and I am pretty sure it didn't). I don't need other people being so lame and making stupid comments! Really, there are lots of families with only one son, and they are just fine!
Yeah I totally agree Hobbers...my brother was the only boy amongst 3 sisters and he turned out fine!! I DO hate how other people talk so much shit when it's not their family or they're not even going to have live it!!