Why do you want a girl?

I think it's interesting to hear the different reasons that brought people here and why we want a little girl so badly.

For me, I want a second daughter because for the longest time it was me and my sister against the world. We grew up in dysfunction and only had each other. I want my DD to have a sister so they can look out for each other

On a practical note, we only have a 2 br house so if we had a boy it would require $ and hassle in splitting the room in 2. It's just easier having 2 girls share a room

I have come to completely see the truth in the "a daughter's a daughter for all of your life; a son is a son til he takes a wife"...even when the MIL acts totally normally and isn't intrusive, etc...it just seems to be the nature of things. I don't want to always be the outsider/second choice with my grandchildren (or other big events like weddings...or even where my kids choose to live geographically -- they're going to be choose to be closer to the wife's family. Every. time.) I am super close to my mom and even though my wonderful brother is actually probably her favorite child, she and I still have an extra connection and closeness...I don't want to miss out on that.

Gurly: I will say that I shared a room with my brother growing up and we're super close :)

I have a daughter and a son from a previous relationship. My husband and I want to have a daughter together. My daughter still see's her biological father, it's hard for my husband to share her emotionally. We have 3 sons together and a daughter will fill that gap, feeling complete.

Because I have mastered the art of making beautiful, smart, amazing boys!!! lol

I wanted a mother daughter relationship... I had a bad relationship with my mother and grew up with three brothers now I will have four sons and I'm over that dream lol... I'm happy with all my boys and wouldnt change it ... I tend to get along better with males in general so it's ment to be

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Originally Posted by gurly

I think it's interesting to hear the different reasons that brought people here and why we want a little girl so badly.

For me, I want a second daughter because for the longest time it was me and my sister against the world. We grew up in dysfunction and only had each other. I want my DD to have a sister so they can look out for each other

On a practical note, we only have a 2 br house so if we had a boy it would require $ and hassle in splitting the room in 2. It's just easier having 2 girls share a room

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Lol I swear sometimes I wanna beat my sister so I wonder if I want my girl to be an only girl. I want to use my little girls name!!

And for the record, I don't believe a daughters your daughter thing....
I think it's how you raise your boys...
I've already told my kids, they can only marry a girl who is nice to & loves their mom.
And we don't just say it, we live it
I adore my mom-in-law...she's with us on every family vacation & I wouldn't have it any other way!!! :)

I wanted a daughter to experience both genders. To have that unique relationship just like I have with my sons. The best of both worlds...I wanted to know both worlds. After I had her, my urge for a daughter was fulfilled. When I got pregnant again, I wanted a girl, not because of my wants for a daughter, but because I wanted my daughter to have a sister, just like my boys had brothers:)

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Originally Posted by BeadinMom

Because I have mastered the art of making beautiful, smart, amazing boys!!! lol

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This! lol

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Originally Posted by gurly

I think it's interesting to hear the different reasons that brought people here and why we want a little girl so badly.

For me, I want a second daughter because for the longest time it was me and my sister against the world. We grew up in dysfunction and only had each other. I want my DD to have a sister so they can look out for each other

On a practical note, we only have a 2 br house so if we had a boy it would require $ and hassle in splitting the room in 2. It's just easier having 2 girls share a room

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I have a very similar reason. I have been trying to get pregnant for the better part of the last decade. If things had been easy for me maybe it would be different. I had always planned on #1 at 27/28, #2 by 30 and try to talk DH into #3 before 35. In that scenario there would have been plenty of time/opportunity to let what happened happen. We started trying right on schedule and DD didn't show up until I was 32. I am now 36 and it is looking unlikely I will get pregnant again, much less two more times. I feel like a lot has slipped away from me, including the ability to just "let happen". I grew up with a sister and I really want that relationship for my daughter. I love girly stuff and I love being a girl mom.

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Originally Posted by Hopeful1

I have a very similar reason. I have been trying to get pregnant for the better part of the last decade. If things had been easy for me maybe it would be different. I had always planned on #1 at 27/28, #2 by 30 and try to talk DH into #3 before 35. In that scenario there would have been plenty of time/opportunity to let what happened happen. We started trying right on schedule and DD didn't show up until I was 32. I am now 36 and it is looking unlikely I will get pregnant again, much less two more times. I feel like a lot has slipped away from me, including the ability to just "let happen". I grew up with a sister and I really want that relationship for my daughter. I love girly stuff and I love being a girl mom.

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Are you doing fertility treatments? I wish you the best !

I'm very girly myself and I'm one of 4 girls so having girls is what I imagined for myself as a child, I'd love the mother-daughter bond -- being able to help a DD through future pregnancies/babies without being seen as the interfering MIL, have some heirlooms I'd like to pass on to a daughter

I want a daughter for my husband - I'm happy with a 4th boy but he is desperate for a girl and I want to fulfil his dream

I haven't found the daughter for life saying to be at all true. I think if you raise any gender child to put family first and be supportive of their decisions they won't leave you. My brother lives down the street from my mom. She sees his kids everyday. I live in another country and she sees mine every other year. Everytime I visit my family we also visit MIL. She is as important to my husband as my mom is to me. So, I think if you keep a positive uplifting relationship with your children they will reciprocate. Also, they will hopefully choose a spouse that can appreciate the woman that raised their awesome husband. My husband makes it clear that his family relationships are important. He is important to me therefore his important relationships are also important to me.

I think my reasons are a little selfish. I want to buy cute clothes. I want pedi dates. I want to play games that I enjoy instead of playing games out of duty. I want to teach her things only a mother can I.e how to be a lady, how to tell if a boy is a creep, how to respect yourself, how to live healthy) I want to share hair dressers. I want to shop in the girl toy section. I don't want to worry about what age I have to start sending my boys into Men's room alone. I would like less time spent on football, baseball , wrestling and more time dancing, cheering, and gymnastic. I have so many cute plans for a girly room. I want someone else in the car who understands why we can't roll down the windows. I want to watch my daughter wrap my dh around her little finger. I want to see what great big brothers my boys would be to a little sister. I want someone who's a little more like me.

I really just want to stop feeling like I'm missing out on something. It's like an exclusive club that I can't get into. Everyone else I know is a member of the club and they rub it in that I'm not allowed. I want to be able to make sure other all boy moms know that their not " missing out". I want to be able to say " I have both and the stereo types are wrong." Boys are wonderful and my daughter doesn't give me anything my boys didnt . Even if its a lie.

For me, it's because I would like to have the same relationship with a daughter of my own as I have with my mother. We are very close, and she is the first person I tell my secrets too. I feel I will miss a huge thing in life if I don't have a daughter to share secrets with. Xx


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I have two boys so would also like to experience a mother daughter relationship also. If I had two girls I would probably want a boy! I would also like to buy some cute girly outfits !!

Growing up, I always imagined a perfect 'traditional' family of hubby, wife and 2 kids (boy & girl) while our lives are far from perfect, lol, It would still be nice to have a li'l girl to dress up and share that special bond with, which I never had with my mother.

to be honest for multiple reasons, my relationship with my own mother was horrible and I would love to have a mother daughter relationship, no matter what side of the spectrum I am on. My wonderful amazing MIL wants a granddaughter so badly lol. She only has grandsons but she adores them so much that it is so cute. She keeps asking me for a grand daughter and I want that relationship more than anyone will ever know. I used to fear that I would turn out like my own mother, but talking to people has helped me realize that I am a better mother than she could ever dream to be.

On DH's side of the family (especially on his mother's side), they were all boys. There's one girl, but she's adopted. Would be nice to break the mould. DH also says he wants to be 'outnumbered'. Not sure after living with me for 15 years he's actually through that one through... :think:

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Originally Posted by Cherry bomb

I really just want to stop feeling like I'm missing out on something. It's like an exclusive club that I can't get into. Everyone else I know is a member of the club and they rub it in that I'm not allowed. I want to be able to make sure other all boy moms know that their not " missing out". I want to be able to say " I have both and the stereo types are wrong." Boys are wonderful and my daughter doesn't give me anything my boys didnt . Even if its a lie.

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This is exactly me! I could have wrote everything word for word!!!!!! I'm realistic to know that just because you have a daughter doesn't mean you will have that special relationship. She could be the complete opposite of you, or just care more about friends/husband than her mom. I'd obviously love to have a daughter who'd want to spend time with me when she's older. Who I could take on shopping trips while my husband takes our two boys somewhere else. That'd be great and I'd love love to have that. But, It's no guarantee. I know so many people that aren't close with their moms at all... and for no reason except they are too different, or just too into themselves. For me, it's just like Cherry Bomb said - I hate how people make it seem like your missing out on something! To most people, the idea of not having both genders doesn't even cross their mind, so having a certain gender doesn't affect their life nearly as much as it might to some of us (knowing how we felt before). I hate the constant comments, and the pity that I think people feel for me. I know if I have a girl I'll be happy for a bit, but then life will go on.. new problems will come and it'll be just like everything else! It just drives me nuts that it's the one thing you have zero control over and yet everyone makes it seem like it's so easy to acquire! "You really need a daughter, they are the best" "You need to have another so you can get your girl" If only it was that easy!

Really can relate and share many of the same feelings about wanting a daughter. Came from a family of 3 girls and we have a great relationship as well as with my mom. I want the experience of raising a daughter too and someone to impart my mothering wisdom of being a woman. I've always thought I'd have a girl too. I also want a daughter for my husband and a sister for my two boys. Just so many, many reasons! (Also, love beadinmom's comment about having made amazing boys already, LOL!)

I would just really love the experience of raising both genders. If I had two girls I would be swaying boy right now. The adorable clothes and girly things are just an added bonus :)

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Originally Posted by gurly

Are you doing fertility treatments? I wish you the best !

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No, we did while TTC #1. We did over a year (not quite 2) of treatments including 6 months of Clomid plus IUIs with Follistim. Nothing worked. So DH has said he doesn't want to go through all that again when a) they could not find anything wrong with us and b) none of it worked. We eventually got pregnant on our own and had DD, so I'm kind of hoping/praying it can happen again, but as I'm almost a decade older than when we STARTED trying, I'm not super hopeful at this point.

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Originally Posted by Hopeful1

No, we did while TTC #1. We did over a year (not quite 2) of treatments including 6 months of Clomid plus IUIs with Follistim. Nothing worked. So DH has said he doesn't want to go through all that again when a) they could not find anything wrong with us and b) none of it worked. We eventually got pregnant on our own and had DD, so I'm kind of hoping/praying it can happen again, but as I'm almost a decade older than when we STARTED trying, I'm not super hopeful at this point.

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Sounds like you need to move on to IVF. Would you consider HT?

I want my DH to have the daughter he has always wanted.

I want to be able to tell everyone that boys are just as good as girls in my personal experience

and the shopping would be fun even though I'm not a big pink fan

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Originally Posted by BeadinMom

And for the record, I don't believe a daughters your daughter thing....
I think it's how you raise your boys...
I've already told my kids, they can only marry a girl who is nice to & loves their mom.
And we don't just say it, we live it
I adore my mom-in-law...she's with us on every family vacation & I wouldn't have it any other way!!! :)

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:agree: my mother in law is my best friend. And my adult sons and I still hang out a lot even now that they're 21 and 18 - they are really the greatest. In most of the world thoughout history, it was totally the opposite, the girl went and moved in with the man's family and was closer to them, and it's still that way in most of Asia and Africa.

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Originally Posted by vickyaust

Sounds like you need to move on to IVF. Would you consider HT?

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No IVF for us. A) we can't afford it and B) DH has said he is happy enough with DD and doesn't want to mortgage her future for a possible sibling by going into debt for infertility treatments. So I am doing what I can to get pregnant and keeping my fingers crossed that something works. Atomic gave me a great idea in another post, so I'm going to try that next cycle.

I want a girl for the simple fact that I was close with my mom and love dresses. I see absolutely everyone with atleast one girl and love it better. always loved their boys til they experienced a girl and had cute clothes, did hair, and nails. i want one even more desperately since my hubby has one and we have a son together, like i failed at getting a girl out of him when his ex wife already did and shes prego again with another girl by her new guy and gives me an attitude like i can lay down and get a girl no problem just cz she knows how desperate i am. she even called to tell my hubby their daughters getting a sister, yeah i cried for months ;(

I wanted a girl because I had a awful relationship with my mentally ill mom (and we no longer speak) - after I had her, I realized how left out she was and remember spending the first half of childhood wishing for a sister...I have wanted the same for my DD ever since. I've given her 5 more brothers and my guilt has only increased with each one. In hindsight it would've been easier on her to stop at 3, but here we are now :)

For me it is an echo to what many of you had said. I 've done the boy thing & mastered it. I want my DD to have a sister & experience that bond. I want to enjoy the shopping 7 bonding that comes with a DD. Most of all I want to use my girl name & honor my Grandmother.

I was never that close to my Mum which has nothing to do with me being adopted because my Sister who is my Mums biological daughter feels the same way about her. I am passionate about pregnancy, birth and babies and when I was pregnant I strongly felt like I was missing out with not being able to have a close bond with my Mum through the process and not being able to ask what her pregnancy with me was like. For me it is a lot about the adult relationship and having that close Mother/daughter relationship that I feel I have never had and being her role model and the chance to Mother a daughter 'right.' Basically correcting all the wrongs my Mother made with me that made me feel not that close to her.

Also to share my my main hobby of being arty/creative. I'm not into pink but clothing is one of the stems of my artsy side and I always said I would take up sewing if I had a daughter so I could create pretty things for her. I love to draw and it is what I try to do in my small amount of me time and I try to do art with my son but I feel my talent is wasted with him asking me to draw trucks and diggers when my speciality is people and I just long for a girl to ask me to draw her princesses and mermaids and castles.

I was a tomboy growing up so I can see why I am a good boy Mum candidate and I have heaps of fun with my lovely boys but part of me will always be sad if I never have a girl of my own, a little mini me to dote on.

And a not so important part but I would love a DD for my partner who has 6 sons. I would love to see him go all goo goo over her and protect her. All the Women in his family are stunning so she would be the prettiest little thing. I don't care what she looks like though or if she is a tomboy. I just want a female child and the chance to parent both genders too.