Another BFN

This is our 5th month TTC, and AF just arrived :(

I'm feeling a bit down, and would love some reassurance, advice or support.

I've been having a low calorie diet, averaging 1500 a day, but some days lower and some much higher.
I've lost 22lb at about 2lb a week.
I have about 10lb left to lose comfortably.

I skip breakfast and don't snack, except on cheat days.

I have at least one big cheat day most weekends, eating way over and all the wrong foods.
We've just had a weekend away and I've eaten a lot of all the wrong things for 3 days in a row, and gained 2lb.
Is this a disaster for the month?

I drink one cup of peppermint tea a day. Should I be having more?

DH eats natural liquorice sticks, because he likes them rather than to sway. I don't know how these compare to the supplements or how many he should be having.

I've been really torn over BD frequency.
We have been DTD 2 or 3 times each fertile period, but BFN every time you how much would one attempt reduce our chances of conception? Are there any statistics or studies on this?
Would you definitely still advise one attempt after 5 months TTC with 2/3 attempts?

I'm 38 and DH is 44.

I really really want my BFP soon!

Thankyou very much for the support I've been getting here.. I am a worrier and it's great to be able to ask questions and read all your comments.

Sp4rkl3s,
I am so sorry you are going through this and please know you are not alone. I started actively trying in January so I am going on 11 months in a few weeks. I know this swaying can take a tools on you but rest assure that if you keep it going you will get your bfp. There are lots of women here who swayed for a very long time but eventually got theirs bfps. Don't give up. I always here atomic saying to drop things in your sway that can help boost your bfp chance. Good Luck hun and hang in there 😙💖

I'm sorry it's taking long for you to get a BFP.
Maybe you could get some clomid??
It has helped a lot of ladies and it is said to sway pink.
Many wishes for a BFP next circle!

Big hugs! Today is likely CD1 for me as well (just patiently waiting for AF to arrive so I can move onto cycle 4 of TTC, month 7 of diet and exercise).

In your shoes I would drop the peppermint tea. It can cause you to be less likely to conceive and doesn't sway THAT much. I dropped it long ago from my sway. Also with DH's age I'd probably drop the licorice (but no clue if the natural licorice matters, but I doubt it's helping you get pregnant?). I would NOT be concerned at all about a weekend off the diet. It's the overall picture and you've been on the diet a long time. Don't stress about that or worry about that in the slightest (especially since your cheat was at AF time and far before your next attempt). I bet some of your weight gain is bloat from AF (I always gain 2 lbs the weekend before AF and then it goes away very quickly).

As far as frequency goes, are you sure your timing is really good? I'd probably do every 4 days PLUS an attempt at positive OPK (so 2 attempts in your fertile window). Atomic might recommend SMEP since you've been trying 5 months.

Good luck! I really hope October is a good month for both of us :)

Thankyou for your comments.

I always feel a bit down when AF arrives. Then try to look forward to the next attempt.

I don't know much about Clomid.. Didn't expect to have problems conceiving, and still hoping it will happen soon, but I'll see if I can find d out a bit about it.

I can drop the peppermint tea easily if that makes it harder to conceive, but DH likes his liquorice root and says a few sticks a day won't hurt. Until now I've been fine with that, thinking it would sway, but I wonder if just a few sticks would cause problems. I'm guessing it's not as strong as the capsules.

Thanks for the reassurance about my bad weekend! We had fun and good to have a break, but as time goes on I'm having more and more cheat days!

Don't worry about the weight gain.

DH needs to drop licorice (whether he likes it or not) and you need to drop peppermint tea.

At 38/44, TTC for 5 months is absolutely in normal range and you shouldn't get upset.

I would have you BD every 4 days plus one additional attempt at positive OPK. DO NOT under any circumstances do three attempts. That has gotten dreadful results for pink.

AT 38 I would not recommend Clomid.

DH needs to drop the licorice. For his own health. WE have no way of knowing how strong the sticks are. They may be STRONGER than supplements!! Plus, if he's doing it daily, it is NOT the 2 w on, rest of cycle off way I advise anyway. Licorice is 100% proven beyond a doubt to cause high blood pressure in people who use it all the time. And it is absolutely not helpping you conceive, that's for sure. Bad for sperm health

Hi, can I join in....!

Atomic, why is clomid no good for women over 38?

And, does 'one attempt only' lower the chances a lot/or 'two attempts' increase the chances a lot?

Thanks :)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by LoveSunshine

Hi, can I join in....!

Atomic, why is clomid no good for women over 38?

And, does 'one attempt only' lower the chances a lot/or 'two attempts' increase the chances a lot?

Thanks :)

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The 1 attempt is 70% or so success rate, 2 attempts is 60% for pink. Not sure on odds of conception, but that's the swaying stats at least.

I know how incredibly disappointing it is to get a BFN. I am a few years younger than you and it took me 8 cycles before conceiving this time. Try to keep your head up. I became obsessed with getting a BFP so much that I needed to take a break from boards and such. Continue to have faith it will happen! Praying for you and sending hugs your way ;)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by bluebonnet22

The 1 attempt is 70% or so success rate, 2 attempts is 60% for pink. Not sure on odds of conception, but that's the swaying stats at least.

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Interesting, thanks bluebonnet!
As for the odds of conception, I know it depends on many factors, but does anyone know if doing just the one attempt lower the odds a lot? I just worry cause I am 37, but I wanna give pink a good shot by doing one attempt for a bit!

Thankyou for all your responses!

I will stop peppermint tea.

I have spoken to DH again, and he will stop the liquorice.. Will the effects of it stop straight away or does it take time to leave his body?

We will BD every 4 days and at positive OPK.

It doesn't matter how far apart the attempts are? When I get positive OPK it could be 3 days since last BD or 1 day.. either is OK?

How soon after can we BD again? Should we wait another 4 days after OPK, or 4 days from time before, or doesn't it matter afterwards?

Thanks again.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by LoveSunshine

Interesting, thanks bluebonnet!
As for the odds of conception, I know it depends on many factors, but does anyone know if doing just the one attempt lower the odds a lot? I just worry cause I am 37, but I wanna give pink a good shot by doing one attempt for a bit!

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It is absolutely, completely, and totally possible to get pregnant doing one attempt. There are 10's to even 100's of millions of sperm in one shot. ONe attempt doesn't lower the odds of conception anywhere near as much as many other sway tactics do.

I got pg with 1 shot at 41 1/2 years old and got my DD.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sp4rkl3s

Thankyou for all your responses!

I will stop peppermint tea.

I have spoken to DH again, and he will stop the liquorice.. Will the effects of it stop straight away or does it take time to leave his body?

We will BD every 4 days and at positive OPK.

It doesn't matter how far apart the attempts are? When I get positive OPK it could be 3 days since last BD or 1 day.. either is OK?

How soon after can we BD again? Should we wait another 4 days after OPK, or 4 days from time before, or doesn't it matter afterwards?

Thanks again.

---

LIcorice takes time to leave his body.

With the every 4 days plus one attempt at pos OPK, it does NOT matter how far apart the attempts are. I don't even really want you to dwell on that really. Just put it ouf ot your mind.

I would wait another 4 days from the pos OPK attempt to have sex again.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by LoveSunshine

Hi, can I join in....!

Atomic, why is clomid no good for women over 38?

And, does 'one attempt only' lower the chances a lot/or 'two attempts' increase the chances a lot?

Thanks :)

---

Clomid raises FSH levels and in older women (who will almost all have higher FSH than normal anyway) this can affect egg quality negatively and make it impossible for you to conceive while on it.

Odds of pink have been 70-75% with one attempt, 60-65% with two attempts, and 40% with three attempts. And we are getting 80% plus success with blue with more than one attempt in fertile window. This has stayed consistent over the 3 years we've been tracking this and while we do not know why it is, it is certainly is seeming to be the case that it is one of the strongest sway tactics.

How have you been determining O?

I've been using clearblue dual hormone OPK in the morning and a non digital OPK in the afternoon.

What is your CM like in the 4 days up to and including O? You have been having multiple attempts in the past 5 months, timed when exactly?

if I were in your shoes, I'd stay strict on the diet, drop the peppermint tea and BD every 3 days. And I'd do so throughout my cycle in case O isn't happening when you think. I see many ladies Oing 3+ days after their positive OPKs amd stop BDing too soon.

I agree with continuing the attempts after pos OPK! Don't stop having attempts until you are a kajillion % sure you have ovulated.