44 with failed cycle - straight to donor egg?

[Walkerbabies]

Hey there, I'm new to this forum but just to quickly introduce myself, I'm 44 never had children with failed IUIs three times. Tried IVF with own eggs but failed with none to freeze. Right now, I'm wondering if I should go straight to donor eggs. Are there any ladies here who tried only one cycle then went straight to using donor eggs? I know our situations might be different but just hoping to shed light on a few things.

[atomic sagebrush]

I would absolutely completely and totally without any hesitation urge you to do donor eggs. At 44 your chances with your own eggs are slim, and as an older mom myself (had my daughter at 42) I must tell you that I feel the pressure of time acutely. I do worry that I won't have enough time with her, even with a normal lifespan of 80 years, let alone less. I hate to think of her getting married and having kids and I may not be able to there (or I may be not healthy enough to support her). But these are the realities to having kids in our 40's.

I'm not trying to scare you, but my point is the chances are very slim you will succeed with your own eggs, and I would hate to see you take more time you could be young, vibrant, and raising your child on something that has a lower chance of success. A year or two can make all the difference in being there to dance at your child's wedding than not, and so I hate to see anyone throw away precious time on IVF that has pretty low chance of succeeding.

Donor eggs are great - science has found that the maternal environment actually has a huge influence on what genes are expressed, so it's like you truly are a third genetic parent! I highly recommend them!

[nuthinbutpink]

Hi there. I think it is a money question. If you can afford to try again with your own eggs, go for it. If you cannot keep spending on IVF or mentally cannot go through another negative cycle, look into DE. DE is a great option.

[Walkerbabies]

I would absolutely completely and totally without any hesitation urge you to do donor eggs. At 44 your chances with your own eggs are slim, and as an older mom myself (had my daughter at 42) I must tell you that I feel the pressure of time acutely. I do worry that I won't have enough time with her, even with a normal lifespan of 80 years, let alone less. I hate to think of her getting married and having kids and I may not be able to there (or I may be not healthy enough to support her). But these are the realities to having kids in our 40's.

I'm not trying to scare you, but my point is the chances are very slim you will succeed with your own eggs, and I would hate to see you take more time you could be young, vibrant, and raising your child on something that has a lower chance of success. A year or two can make all the difference in being there to dance at your child's wedding than not, and so I hate to see anyone throw away precious time on IVF that has pretty low chance of succeeding.

Donor eggs are great - science has found that the maternal environment actually has a huge influence on what genes are expressed, so it's like you truly are a third genetic parent! I highly recommend them!

That is true and you're right, we don't have the luxury of time. We're searching for donors now. They referred us to an agency, but should I try searching on my own? Actually, I'm still trying to process the idea, I'm feeling overwhelmed.

[Walkerbabies]

Hi there. I think it is a money question. If you can afford to try again with your own eggs, go for it. If you cannot keep spending on IVF or mentally cannot go through another negative cycle, look into DE. DE is a great option.

Yes, money is a bit tight. If only there is a step-by-step to do list for this for I certainly need one!

[atomic sagebrush]

That is true and you're right, we don't have the luxury of time. We're searching for donors now. They referred us to an agency, but should I try searching on my own? Actually, I'm still trying to process the idea, I'm feeling overwhelmed.

I honestly don't know the answer to this, can anyone help???

[Walkerbabies]

Hi Atomic, I've been fence sitting for so long. Plus didn't get much motivation with the pandemic. But we have chosen a clinic overseas already for DE. The clinic is helping us provide and choose the donor. Thank you for the encouragement.

[atomic sagebrush]

That is WONDERFUL! Keep us posted!!!

[Walkerbabies]

Hi finally starting our cycle this March. Egg donation at 46! Our clinic in Cyprus, Dunya IVF, provided the donor. Wish us luck!

[atomic sagebrush]

Oh that's fantastic news, Walker! Good luck!