Due in March/April/May 2013 Roll call!

[Mrs_P]

Oh Jark i know exactly how you feel, big hugs hunny, i felt exactly the same with ds3, a dream that strong is so hard to move on from. I hope he brings you as much joy as my little one has brought me and that you find peace with your situation. The daughter thing aside as obviously i'm not dealing very well with that either; 3 boys are really very special and will bring you many many happy moments x

[Cinss]

Im so sorry you are having a tough time with it now Jark Wish i could wave the wand and give you a do over. Im sure the surgeons will know what to do with your placenta, do you know if it is anterior high or low?

Just had another look at the front page of this thread and i think it is now 12 from 18 have opposites

[Rosie85]

Jark, I am so sorry. I can't imagine my life without a daughter either. The thought of me never having one makes me want to vomit. While I want four kids I feel the same as you...that I would only get pregnant to have a girl. I don't know if I can be happy with four boys. It is okay to feel the way you do. It is hard to be excited when you just lost your hopes and dreams so suddenly. They were ripped out from under us and it hurts A LOT. Give yourself time to cry, as the days go on the pain will ease. I too thought I couldn't be happy or excited for this pregnancy anymore but a month later ...I am. I am still very upset about not having a girl but this baby in my belly isn't the cause of my upset, I love him already and can't wait to hold him.

If this is your last think about the future...as far as it seems away. Your boys will bring many girls into your life and hopefully grand daughters too. Do you have a neice you can spoil and borrow for a few days here and there? I really truly do get that it's not the same as a mother daughter bond but I feel like it's better than nothing if we can't have what we want exactly.

Huge hugs to you, I really wish we all lived closer so we could have an inperson support group!

[Rosie85]

Mrs P this could be a little too personal but did you have a fourth because it was always the plan or because you wanted one last shot at a girl? I know have lots of time to decide but it's eating me up inside...the thought of another boy and me not being sure I could be happy with that..

Could you be happy with a 4th boy, did you mentally prepare yourself for one? My plan was always 4 no matter what...but now that it's three boys I wonder if I want the 4th. Then there is the whole it could have been a girl thing. How did you make the decision to have another?!

[Rosie85]

oh and I am no way saying you are only making babies to get girls and you don't love them otherwise!! Because of course you will...but I was just curious about thought process...

[spinningmadly]

I'm so sorry jark

[Lassie1982]

I'm sorry Jark
I really thought that the stats in this thread just HAD to turn
I'm So sorry your are hurting, I'm sending you massive hugs and strength.
Allow yourself to 'grieve' and know that the pain and sorrow will pass.
Do whatever you need to try and make yourself smile.
Hope you feel better soon xo

[Mrs_P]

Mrs P this could be a little too personal but did you have a fourth because it was always the plan or because you wanted one last shot at a girl? I know have lots of time to decide but it's eating me up inside...the thought of another boy and me not being sure I could be happy with that..

Could you be happy with a 4th boy, did you mentally prepare yourself for one? My plan was always 4 no matter what...but now that it's three boys I wonder if I want the 4th. Then there is the whole it could have been a girl thing. How did you make the decision to have another?!

No its fine i really don't mind questions and try to be honest. We tried again because the pain of never having a daughter was too much for me to bear. Don't get me wrong i love my boys with all my heart and wouldn't trade a single one, i have the family i never knew i always wanted but something is missing. I always wanted 3 kids and never more than one daughter, i wanted a boy and for him to have a brother but i presumed as i wanted a few i should get my little girl in there somewhere. The instant i heard boy at the ultra sound with ds3 i was gutted and i cried so much, dh promised me one more try and i settled and began to look forward to him after a few months but i knew i still i had one more shot. We had a scare with ds2 when ds3 was two months old and i lost a lot of his baby time being scared i'd loose ds2 (he was fine but i was so scared it would happen again) and living with the consequences of what happened to him. After that i was just so grateful for 3 healthy boys and just to get through every day with them but as ds3 grew that desire slowely creeped in again and took a hold of me. It didn't seem fair to try just for a girl so we looked into ht (which was just too much of a gamble costs wise and not something my dh really agreed with) and adoption (but for the most part we had too many biological kids and the wait was 5yrs plus) but i started getting broody again especially as i felt cheated that i lost so much of ds3 real baby time. When we caught i really thought i'd be fine, i've never struggled to fall for my boys, love hit me instantly with all 3 of them and any gd disappeared way before birth - that and i fought massive gd with ds3 and won (even considered adoption or abortion i fell that low - although i knew i couldn't do it, i cried myself silly for weeks feeling cheated and low; didn't help everyone else i knew with 2 boys got their girl). I was sure i could overcome it again.

Possibly not the best of decisions as about 5-6 weeks all the old gd feelings came back and i'm right back where i was with ds3 as this really is my last chance. The thought of living a life with regret feels too overwhelming to contemplate and i feel so miserable and down all the time i have even considered a termination and just going back to the way things were, i feel like i have been robbed of my dream already and that just getting pregnant sealed my fate - so i was ok and looking forward to ds4 but now am in a really really bad position and angry at myself for putting my family through this - i just don't feel strong enough to fight for another boy as i know our family will not be supportive (they think 3 boys is more than enough).

Sorry probably not the answer you wanted but i seem to have lost my positive side lately. I think / am hoping for me its the not knowing that's doing this to me and that i will find peace once i know one way or another that this is a boy, it's the hope thats taunting me

[Brandles]

Jark, my heart breaks for you right know and all the others struggling with gd. When I found out my 3rd was a boy I cried for days. The ultrasound tech felt so bad for me... It was horrible, so I know exactly how you're feeling. I have longed for that mother/daughter relationship (like the one I share with my mom) for years. I really didn't think my DH was going to let me try again, especially after the baby we lost back in March would've been boy #4 for us. I apologize for asking this again if you've already answered, but will you guys try for #4? I wish you the best and you'll truly love having 3 boys.

[jark22]

I don't know how I'd be able to justify 4 kids. I will just have to suck it up and deal with what I've been handed.