First miscarriage, this sucks

[EmmyRoo]

Oh lace I'm so sorry! I was so happy to see you were pg too after all the help you gave me during my sway and now we've both suffered losses.

I'm still waiting to miscarry naturally which is so hard, but focussing on TTC again helps. I'm planning to buy a nice wooden memory box and put my hpts, sympathy cards and a dried lily from one of the bouquets we've been given in it as a memory box. We didn't get a scan picture last week but we're going to ask if they could give us one as proof our wee jellybean existed.

It's terribly hard but a loss at any time of pregnancy is about grieving your hopes and plans as well as the baby. I hope you feel better soon and we can TTC pink together again - this time with happy outcomes.

x

[LacePrincess]

Emmy, I saw your thread and I didn't want to comment and make you feel worse when I still had that pregnancy ticker in my siggy. But I've been following your posts and I'm so so sorry. At least my body cleared things naturally, limbo must be so horrible. I saw you post on the bbc board, I haven't joined but reading the stories there are comforting.

Oddly enough it's that little sticker heart with the question mark on it next to the hearts that had me, DH, and our boys' names on it that makes this lost bean feel like such a part of the family. I'm relieved I didn't just toss that envelop, it's symbolic, yk? I think, come spring, I will be burying that envelope and my bfp's in the garden with a stepping stone on top, something that speaks to me maybe a spiritual blessing or something.

I do feel like we will go on and have happy blessings again, but this is also like losing an innocence I didn't know I had. I obviously can't say I like it but I do think going through it will make me a stronger and better person for having experienced this pain. Does that make sense? LOL

Hang in there too, Emmy. We'll both be fine, I know it. Your DS2 is just around my DS3's age, I bet his snuggles have been really nice the last week?

[Emily]

Lace I am so sorry to hear this. I had my first chemical in October and it was horrible. I know that the ticker has nothing to do with it but I put one on the day before I mc'd and also thought - why the **** did I do that?

It does get easier once you have wallowed - and wallow you must. Just getting on with things doesn't work for everyone and I started to feel better only after I allowed myself a massive Hollywoodesque bawling session.

Fingers crossed for BFPs all round soon. I am trying again in March after a sway break and am feeling ready and positive.

[EmmyRoo]

Yes lace, it is exactly like losing an innocence i didn't know I had! I almost feel it's weird that I have 2 kids and am 36 and haven't had a loss before now. I just hope this is the first and last. I hope I'll be stronger for this, I certainly won't take anything for granted if I'm lucky enough to get pregnant again - I've been guilty of that In the past.

Emily is right about having a good wallow, it does help. I thinking grief will get us unexpectedly from time to time, I know the gender scan date and due date will be hard for me, so we must allow ourselves the odd meltdown.

But yeah, we'll be ok.
X

[LacePrincess]

Agreed so much Emmy. Hang in there.

For me, my birthday will be hard. That's because this bean's due date, while not actually my bday, was within a few weeks - close enough that it could've been plausible to have the baby born on my own bday. And Valentine's day will be hard too, as I had presented the original BFP's to hubby as an early Vday gift.

Well, chin up, who knows.....maybe we'll catch the next egg as a late Vday gift. You never know!

[aussiettc]

Hi ladies. Lace, you couldn't be more right when you describe it as a loss of innocence. Its so weird but I never worried about a mc before and now I'm not sure how I'll get past the fear of it happening again if I'm lucky enough to get a BFP. I thought I was doing okay too but there are moments when I catch myself welling up. I'm sure we all just need some time to feel better and in the meantime, should just be really kind to ourselves whilst we're grieving and healing xx