Waiting to sway again after loss and feeling down

[mkddav]

Hi everybody.
DH and I had our pink sway in Feb. I had a bfp right on the first try, but then lost the pregnancy. My OB is doing lots of testing since it was not my first loss. I see him again for results in two weeks. I asked dh a week ago and he said he is good to ttc again if dr agrees all is well.
But when I mentioned it today he says he wants to wait another cycle or two. I could just kill him! And he doesn't want to sway again because he thinks that is what caused the m/c! I am at such a loss. Meanwhile two friends announced today that they are having girls. I am just feeling so defeated and deflated. It was so hard doing the big sway and so hard losing that baby and seeing others having girls. I don't know if I have it in me to do the diet again. I guess I just needed to vent. I just want to move on and start ttc again.

[maidentomother]

I would tell DH that you are more fertile after an early loss so should resume TTC immediately. There is some evidence that this may in fact be true, and it may sway pink also. You could fudge it and say or imply that your dr told you that explicitly...some drs DO advise that.

I'm so sorry. It was not the sway or anything you did. Hopefully the testing provides answers. How many losses have you had/at what stages?

Wishing you a pink rainbow soon. <3

[mkddav]

Thanks for the kind words.
I have had 3 losses, all around the 5 week mark. Seems like my first baby was the charm. He is now 2 1/2.
DH says his biggest reason is wanting to avoid a due date in winter for weather reasons. I do understand, but I just want to get on with it again. Who knows how long it might take. Plus my patience for swaying is decreasing. Especially the diet, which is apparently the most important component.

[maidentomother]

Considering how early your losses were, there is a good chance they were just bad luck. How old are you?

Diet is the most important aspect, but miscarriage does seem to sway pink, too, so I'd really try to convince him to TTC immediately.

[mkddav]

Any idea how long after mc the pink effect lasts? We skipped one cycle while aiting for all of he tests.

[mkddav]

I am 31. Not old, but not young either.

Do chemicals also sway pink, or just miscarriages? Or maybe for these purposes they are considered the same - I always consider them the same because "chemical" just makes it sound so trivial.

Any suggestions for a modified diet? Like if all I did was skip breakfast and lost weight would that still be worth trying?

[maidentomother]

The sooner after that you conceive the better, but we just don't know how long the effect lasts, how rapidly it declines, or how much gestation of loss matters. I suspect later losses may sway more but that's also more time off diet so it might balance out. It just varies I'm sure, based on each person and many other factors. I do think you should still try this cycle, I'd guess an early loss might sway for up to 3 cycles after. Just a guess though.

I agree chemical is a stupid term. Loss is loss.

I urge you to do the diet properly if at all possible bc it sways SO strongly, and is especially important if you aren't doing cardio. But if you know you just can't stick to it strictly, I would suggest 2-3 meals daily with no snacking, vegetarian or even better vegan, keep protein and especially fat low, and keep portions overall small (excluding fruit and veggies). If you don't go vegan, limit fullfat dairy and avoid butter and egg yolks except in very small amounts. I'm not sure if that version of the diet still seems too much - but you wouldn't have to count calories, fat or protein. An even simpler version would be 2-3 meals, no snacking, and vegan.

Any changes you can make to your diet will sway pink and are worth trying. Every little bit helps. It's just a matter of upping odds of pink by 5 vs 25 vs 50%.

[mkddav]

Thanks, you are a great help.
I would live to do the full diet. I'm supposed to be doing weight watchers but having big problems even sticking to that right now, so I'm guessing I probably won't find the motivation to do the full LE diet.
I've been off the diet for about a month. Started eating normally after the bfp, and started eating everything in sight after the loss. *sigh*
Anyway, I will do the best I can.

One other question. Is it skipping breakfast that is important, or just a long stretch between eating? Wondering if I could eat breakfast at a normal time if I stopped eating early the evening before.

[mkddav]

Thanks, you are a great help.
I would live to do the full diet. I'm supposed to be doing weight watchers but having big problems even sticking to that right now, so I'm guessing I probably won't find the motivation to do the full LE diet.
I've been off the diet for about a month. Started eating normally after the bfp, and started eating everything in sight after the loss. *sigh*
Anyway, I will do the best I can.

One other question. Is it skipping breakfast that is important, or just a long stretch between eating? Wondering if I could eat breakfast at a normal time if I stopped eating early the evening before.

[maidentomother]

It's the long stretch overnight (12-16hrs) that matters. You can totally do an early dinner instead of skipping breakfast.

WW is pretty decent for pink, btw. Like you said, just do your best, and what you can stick to.