Sad, but how does it sway? (late loss)

[SweetLily]

So. We got the daughter of our dreams. And then we lost her at 17 weeks.

We're trying again in 3 months to give my body a little time to heal, I'm 39 now so there isn't a lot of time to spare.

Does a mc like that sway either way?

I keep going over everything trying to figure out if we'd done this or that differently would it have had the same outcome? I'm so heartbroken. I will probably only get one more chance, cause if it happens again dh will refuse to keep trying with me (he'll want a surrogate) so I want this to work so badly. I don't know how to keep going, but I want my little girl so bad. I know I can never get this one back, but oh how I want a little girl. now more than ever.

Anyway, just hoped someone knew how a late loss might sway.

Thanks.

[mommymachine]

I am so so sorry for your tragic loss. Praying for your healing. I truly hope you get a pink rainbow very soon.


Mommy to 5 with number 6 due in June!!

[Throwaway_panther]

I am so, so sorry for your loss SweetLily

Don't beat yourself up over what you could or could not have done -- the unfortunate reality of miscarriages is that there's often nothing we can do. Are you planning on doing any testing?

I know, conventionally, conceiving after a CP or miscarriage tends to yield pink, and I happen to know someone who had a late miscarriage followed by a CP followed by a healthy pink pregnancy (all in under a year), but I don't know if there's any hard evidence on a "3 month post-MC" swaying means.

I and everyone else is here for you though during this difficult time I would add that pressuring yourself for "one more time" probably won't help -- have you talked to a professional about the loss and the stress of conceiving? I think that would help <3

[maidentomother]

Oh hun, I am so VERY sorry. Did you have any testing done? What does your dr say?

I personally think the later the loss, the more it sways pink, all other things being equal.

[SweetLily]

Yes, Maiden...I let them send her sweet little body off to be disceted so they could figure out if there was a real reason or if it was just my irritable uterus. Im praying there was something else, like amnio infection or the SCH that was small but there or something!

It was an awful chain of events. I had 5 days of warning, bleeding and contracting and the drs woudn't do ANYTHING. I brought in evidence of how well procardia works even and they wouldn't try it. Im so upset.

My water broke at 5 am and I immediately felt something in my vag. I had to wait 2 hours for drs to show up and confirm it was "something". I felt her struggle as the placenta detached and she had no more air. She started kicking frantically and then there was nothing. By the time the drs arrived I needed an emerg d&c cause of hemhoraging from the placenta detaching, but the baby wasn't out yet. I went to go pee before the surgery and delivered her into my hands.

It was the worst experience of my life.

I am so scared if I get pregnant again it will happen again.

I am so sad beyond words. I'm so scared to try again but I want to be pregnant NOW and I;m not even done bleeding yet. My milk just came in and my breasts are exploding.

I dont even know how to go on anymore.

Thanks for the support hun. And from all of you.

[Babygirlquest]

Oh hon, just devastated to hear this and your sad sad story. I'm so very sorry for your loss. I think any loss sways pink but I hope you will take some time to grieve for your little girl as this sounds very traumatic. I'm so sorry the doctors didn't listen :-(

[maidentomother]

Oh my god. That is so awful! I can't believe they wouldn't try something it's not like it would have hurt anything. And feeling/being aware of her throughout the birth...how traumatic. I'm so angry no dr even tried to spare you that. What is the point of modern medicine? I am praying you get answers that make sense and hopefully some reassurance that it won't likely happen again or can be prevented easily. Can you push for more frequent/aggressive monitoring next pregnancy? That seems necessary at the very least for your mental health. I so hope your DH and kids and others in your life are providing good support.

I'm just so sad this happened to you. Haven't you been through enough? Life is so unfair.

Did you have a name for your little girl?

[The Anchor]

Oh no Lily, I am so so sorry. Such a tragic loss. Know that I am thinking of you...HUGE HUGS.

[Erin514]

Your story is just heartbreaking. I'm so sorry that this happened to you and your precious daughter. I just can't believe how badly the doctors failed to help you through this ordeal! I hope you can find a way to heal.

[Throwaway_panther]

That is absolutely heartbreaking and traumatic SweetLily. My heart aches for you -- I wish with all my strength this hadn't happened. I truly hope you can talk to a grief counselor -- you truly experienced a trauma. I am so, so sorry this happened.

Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk