Update about me and my infertility

[LacePrincess]

hi everyone again,

I wanted to just post an update about what's been happening with me and my family. I had to take a break from the boards for my own sanity, as we watched our issue go from gender swaying to watching our fertility crumble over the last few years. It's been a difficult run since our failed HRC cycle in 2014.

Once I would've given anything to have a baby girl - now I would mortgage my house just to have another healthy baby at all.

It's all in my signature, lol, but to summarize: After the failed HRC attempt in Oct 2014 we tried on our own for another 5 months with no bfp. We weren't even swaying by then, just trying hard to get pregnant at all. By May 2015 we started at our local fertility clinic and ran a whole new round of pretesting. Nothing new on my end except I'm now on the wrong side of 36, but the strict Kruger SA on DH showed only 4% morphology.

We did a few Femara rounds with natural bd'ing. After two rounds of 2.5mg Femara we got a bfp in July, only to miscarry a few weeks later. This was our second loss in a row, but my RE refused to do all the RPL testing as he said it was probably just a fluke as our last loss was way back in 2013.

During these months I also did two saline sonos - both of which couldn't get through my right tube. They can't confirm if it's a true blockage without an HSG which I haven't done yet. But my right ovary is the superactive one and my left lazy, so if my right tube is broken that is really not good.

So we did a few more rounds of Femara, and after another 4 cycles managed to get another bfp in Nov. Betas this time were excellent and I was on prog supplements right away. At 7w1d I found out I had a MMC and that I'd be miscarrying over Christmas. WORST CHRISTMAS EVER.

I had to take a few months off to wait for my period to normalize, and my RE finally ordered a full RPL panel. I'm still waiting on one more clotting test but so far everything has come back normal, so now our RPL is unexplained except for me having crappy quality eggs. My RE is also convinced I have DOR though I question that dx.

Ontario started to fund IVF, and I get one lifetime cycle. So I finally got to try IVF again this past month. Unfortunately the stim phase didn't go very well and we got extremely uneven growth with 3 leading follies, so we ended up converting to an IUI. We just did the IUI yesterday morning with a postwash count of 17mil, 94% motility and 89% rapid motility. I triggered with two big follicles on the right and one mature on the left - I'm praying the trigger will force out the left follicle as that's the side I really need!

In the meantime, a new neighbour just moved in, already has a pidgeon pair and is preggo. My best friend after a round of IVF and many years IF is also due with a new baby girl this month. I'm happy for my friend (and bitter at my neighbour) but it's all an extra kick in the teeth.

So in summary, my sordid fertility problems now include: aging eggs, poor IVF responder, blocked right tube, male factor morphology, repeated loss. I wish I could just walk away and stop and call my family complete but I can't - I really want another baby.

If there's one silver lining to the hell that secondary infertility has been for us, it's that it makes me all THAT much more grateful for my boys. I think everyday, gosh, thank goodness we tried when we were young. If we'd waited till thirty I could've been sitting here with all my infertility issues and no kids at all. So I'm grateful for that. I don't know where we're going from here - for now I'm thinking I'd like to try a few more IUI's with injectables to test my response, as apparently I'm very weird and don't fit any of the usual protocols. I only get one more IVF attempt that's covered as I will not be allowed to cancel again - so I HAVE to get it right next time. Going forward, I'm thinking about donor embies or donor eggs, but it'll be awhile before I'm ready for that I think.

So that's my last few years in a nutshell! PM's welcome for anyone who wants to chat about IF and doesn't feel comfortable posting on an open board.

[Babygirlquest]

I'm so sorry for all you've gone through. I pray you get your little baby soon to heal your pain.

[nuthinbutpink]

So sorry. Do you still get to use your one time IVF? I hope that did not count given the blocked tube and you can try IVF again. Of course, I REALLY hope this IUI is the one!!

[XXforhubby]

Oh Lace! My heart goes out to you [emoji20]. I'm hoping and praying with everything that I have that your next plan brings you your baby.

I'll keep praying for you sweetie, it is going to happen for you. It just has to!


[emoji170]DS1[emoji1379], DS2[emoji577], & DS3[emoji602][emoji170][emoji166]One last pink sway 2016[emoji166]

[LacePrincess]

So sorry. Do you still get to use your one time IVF? I hope that did not count given the blocked tube and you can try IVF again. Of course, I REALLY hope this IUI is the one!!

No this cycle didn't count as my one-time covered IVF. I'm allowed only one cancellation under the Ontario coverage - if I cancel again then I'm done. So this Hail Mary IUI was the best result I could hope for out of the very poor stim result.....so expensive too even though we have a good drug plan that covers IF drugs. I was on 450iu Gonal F and 150iu Luveris (pure LH) and it was costing me about $120 per day out of pocket. Ouch. So that was $1k down the tubes but at least we got to try IUI.

My RE is soooo convinced I have DOR, but I don't think so? I had a 2 week bcp start on an antagonist protocol and I think that bcp just puts my ovaries to sleep. The interesting thing was that after 6 days of stims it looked just pathetic (3 leaders, a handful of others) but by yesterday I had 3 measurable and a few more AFC show up out of nowhere in the day after I STOPPED stims. Go figure! Which tells me that the follies are there they're just very hard to wake up and I tend to be very uneven in growth. I really hope my RE will listen and adapt for next time because I need a whole lot more monitoring than my clinic usually does.

My DH might be posted to the US next year, and I'm praying SO HARD because if we do, we get IVF covered. The posting we want is Colorado - and CCRM is the best of the best. Fx so so hard we get to go.

[nuthinbutpink]

I would not try anything again until you get an answer on the tube. You're cutting your odds with IUI a good bit due to that.

[LacePrincess]

I would not try anything again until you get an answer on the tube. You're cutting your odds with IUI a good bit due to that.

Oh oops I forgot to mention something really relevant lol. IUI is free for us pretty much except for our 20% copay on meds. So it's a bit of a no-brainer to do while waiting. Ontario covers the treatment and monitoring, and DH's insurance covers sperm wash, and on a planned IUI the meds would be a whole lot lower than on that IVF I just did.

I guess I should have mentioned that! LOL!

[Kittybear]

I have those thought of you a lot lace. I truly hope that everything falls into place soon. Xxx

[The Anchor]

So happy to hear from you Lace. I don't have any advice, but I feel your pain. Huge hugs, I hope the future holds a little sticky bean for you.

[LacePrincess]

So happy to hear from you Lace. I don't have any advice, but I feel your pain. Huge hugs, I hope the future holds a little sticky bean for you.

Thanks Anchor. I know you do! It sucks, eh? You're fertile until you're not. Some days I look at my laundry list of dx and failures and go, wtf how the heck did all that happen!

I once thought RPL would be just about the worst thing ever. And it really really is, but at the same time I'm kind of amazed how it happens and...you just kind of pick yourself up, and get back on the horse. A few years ago I never would've thought I would be capable of that, yk? So I'm definitely stronger (if a lot more bitter and cynical, LOL) for the past few years.