Hello there ... 40 year old, two boys, Vasectomy Reversal ahead of us.

[Sweetplum]

Well. I called the urologist this AM to set up the reversal. Waiting for her to call back. It's officially been about a year that I've been waffling about this. My husband is Ok with the reversal as he sees how much the original vasectomy (although well intentioned due to all the health issues) is filling me with regret and we both know a third baby would bring the four of us so much joy.

Despite logic and all the risks we are going to take the leap and set up the reversal. It will most likely be in October with us TTC in November which will give me some time to sway a bit (I'm going to do a casual sway as frankly I'm not as concerned with gender as I am with just having a baby). If October comes and we get cold feet we can cancel the appt but will lose $800. At that point the door will close for us....and I will be at peace either way as we ran the course of this decision to completion.

It's really hard to be on the fence but the tipping point for us was the realization that we would be trying for baby 3 had we not got the vasectomy. My husbands short term health is a very very big concern for me which is why I still hesitate...but if we don't schedule something now we will be pushing it with my age. It's now or never.

More to come.

[atomic sagebrush]

Exciting news Lily!!! Keep us posted on things as they develop!!

[Sweetplum]

Exciting news Lily!!! Keep us posted on things as they develop!!

Thanks.
I'm still not sure if what we are doing is right/smart/risky/selfish/irrational/ok/heartfelt/loving/silly. I'm just so worried about the regret I shoulder and always wondering 'what if'.
Life is so short...
My husband is such a good guy.

[Dreamsister]

Welcome back Sweetplum. So happy you decided to go for a third child. Have been thinking about you and what you decided to do after this much thinking back and forth. Now we will be swaying buddies - and hopefully due-buddies too. So happy for you. Seems like you have a very nice and caring husband. GL with the reversal. Looking forward to your update.

[squigglepink]

I remember reading this thread back in Feb. Great to have you back Sweetplum!

I too was sitting on the fence and wondering what if, and should i/we, and what about this and that and the next thing... am i too old, will it effect us financially, what if another boy, can we carry on with private education, will i manage 3 kids, can i give them all a part of me, will my DH and i be ok, what about baby sitting and my mom having 3 kids to look after at once, what about going on holidays - how do 5 of us sit together on a plane, when i cross the road i want to hold all their hands, can i keep them all safe and will i survive another pregnancy, will i be ok in theatre, my list is silly and endless ...
Seeing my bf with her newborn daughter brought me to my knees. Fast forward 6 months and one attempt and im currently waiting for AF to (not) arrive!. My only agreement with myself for going for number 3, was that i was ok with it being another boy. The other stuff i can work around. Regret i simply cannot. I may have GD like i did with number 2 - but i got over that and currently obsessed with him! x

All the best going forward Sweetplum and i look forward to more of your journey here xx
PS - my second name is Margo

[Complex Emotions]

Welcome back Sweetplum! I've missed you.

It sounds like you have a good plan that will give you more time to think things through as you go.

[Sweetplum]

Thank you everyone for the support.
My husband saw how at ease and happy I was last night after making the call and I felt very at peace. That is different than a sort of frantic low mood I've had for quite a while. I'm hoping the peace means it's the right decision.

I also got a note from my OB yesterday reaffirming her support of us going for #3 despite my age and previous complications.

The first step for us is getting over the hurdle of the reversal and nurturing my husband.

[Sweetplum]

BTW. Even though I'm posting on a site dedicated to gender selection I have come to terms with the fact that if I am lucky enough to get pregnant and deliver a healthy baby I will have a girl OR a boy, even with swaying. I am totally OK with this. I'm even starting to dream of how wonderful it would be to have a third boy. I ADORE my boys so much and they have this very special bond with their mom. Having another boy and seeing how he will fit into our family of boys makes my heart swell. We would be 100% boy and I would just settle into this. Having a girl would be like a cherry on top, but having a boy would just sort of make our sundae really huge and even more full of love and craziness. I'm nervous but hopeful about this whole thing and I don't care that much about the gender anymore. Enough to sway but not enough to stress and kill myself. If things go OK I may just wait til baby is born to find out (like we did with the first two)....

[Dreamsister]

BTW. Even though I'm posting on a site dedicated to gender selection I have come to terms with the fact that if I am lucky enough to get pregnant and deliver a healthy baby I will have a girl OR a boy, even with swaying. I am totally OK with this. I'm even starting to dream of how wonderful it would be to have a third boy. I ADORE my boys so much and they have this very special bond with their mom. Having another boy and seeing how he will fit into our family of boys makes my heart swell. We would be 100% boy and I would just settle into this. Having a girl would be like a cherry on top, but having a boy would just sort of make our sundae really huge and even more full of love and craziness. I'm nervous but hopeful about this whole thing and I don't care that much about the gender anymore. Enough to sway but not enough to stress and kill myself. If things go OK I may just wait til baby is born to find out (like we did with the first two)....

I sounds like you have a totally right attitude. You want another child and not just a certain gender. I think this makes swaying so much more relaxing.


DS1 (9) ❤️ DS2 (8) [emoji173] DS3 (5) ❤️ DW (41) [emoji1326] DH (38) [emoji144] TTC'ing pink from May 2016

[Sweetplum]

I sounds like you have a totally right attitude. You want another child and not just a certain gender. I think this makes swaying so much more relaxing.


DS1 (9) ❤️ DS2 (8) [emoji173] DS3 (5) ❤️ DW (41) [emoji1326] DH (38) [emoji144] TTC'ing pink from May 2016

We have so much in common. I'm looking forward to following along with your journey as well