Due Sept/Oct/Nov 2017

[XXforhubby]

Food aversion is when food tastes/smell weird. My food aversion is fruit- at best fruit tastes extremely sour or unripe, at the worst it tastes like Vicks cough syrup [emoji13]. I can only eat bananas. I haven't tried melon yet but it's currently out of season here. I can drink fruit juice though, which is strange. Coffee smells nasty to me and tastes like what I imagine battery acid to taste like [emoji13]!



[emoji170][emoji1379]DS1, [emoji577]DS2, & [emoji602]DS3[emoji170]
[emoji166]EDD 9/30/2017 [emoji1317]for pink[emoji166]

[XXforhubby]

I am currently ravenous. I still can't eat more than 300-500 calories per meal or more than 250 calories per snack without puking. As long as I stick to these ranges, I can actually eat more than I have all pregnancy! I haven't gained any weight yet and have actually lost weight [emoji20]. I'm hoping this changes soon, since I'm 10 weeks today. I bet I'm hungrier because the baby is going through a growth spurt.



[emoji170][emoji1379]DS1, [emoji577]DS2, & [emoji602]DS3[emoji170]
[emoji166]EDD 9/30/2017 [emoji1317]for pink[emoji166]

[sigrid86]

Sorry to hear about your loss and please do not worry that you won't love/bond with your son or that having a boy means a certain type of child. My 2 boys love all the disney films including beauty and the beast, frozen, cinderella, the little mermaid! Neither of them like cars, trains, dinosaurs, space, sport or anything else 'boyish' - other than superheroes, which are cool anyway! They like stories and puzzles and games and baking and doing crafts. They are sensitive, sweet, and adore mummy above all else. My eldest calls me his 'best bud'. My youngest mothers his soft toys and calls them his babies. He is the cuddliest, softest little thing imaginable. I wouldn't mind what they were interested in but I don't want you to feel having a boy has to mean certain things - they are all individuals. I always wanted a girl because I'm so close to my mum and want that relationship when I'm older but am coming to realise that I am SO close to my boys and as long as we are always open, honest and fair with each other - i believe we will always be this close. I think there is something really special about raising a man who is in touch with his feelings, who is kind and sweet and respectful to women - I feel that is my mission. The world needs good men!

Thanks a lot onelastsway! I really hope I will bond with him immediately.
I love almost all Disney films so really hope I can get my boy watch them. It gives me hope that yours watch with you That's so awesome that they don't like the 'boyish' stuff! It seems like you have 2 very sweet and kind boys.
For a big part, I also want a girl because I'm so close with my mom (and my sister) and I have a bad example of my DH and my brother in law who see their parents only 1 time in 2 months, while I need to see my parents every week. I couldn't imagine it any other way...But you're right, it has to do with an individual and not with a gender and also how you raise them. That's a great mission and a so true. We have an important task Thanks a lot for your kind words and sharing your experience. It scares me a little less to have a boy!

[Butterflies buttercups]

Xx I've also gone off coffee and on the diet I was drinking 4 cups a day now I can't stand the smell ! I can't drink tea either I'm just trying to drink water but even that is hard I'm enjoying full fat coke it's helping my nausea !
Roeding:
I know what u mean about the feeling in lower abdomen I have had that on and off I think it's normal I've had it in all my pregnancies I remember . I've also had a water infection this week though and that hasn't helped
I'm also ravenous in the night and in the day to the point my stomach really hurts where my hunger pangs are so strong I have to eat often to keep it all at bay
Xx I can't believe you're 10 weeks amazing ! I can't wait for double figures !


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[sigrid86]

The point is to me that she does hear it (he for you). We cant always control our feelings or emotions but anyone will tell you that they can affect a baby in utero as well. If im going to be devastated about something im going to tell her why. Im very honest while trying to be mindful of my childrens feelings too. I think there is a right way and a wrong way to do this. Its choosing your words carefully, while still being honest. Im not saying it will help you to tell him he is unloved or unwanted, because lets be honest..it wouldnt help you..it would make you feel worse. Its about telling him that while he was planned for and wanted he was a surprise because you always saw yourself having all girls and you have no clue what to do with him, but that you and him will learn it together Something your son and Liv have in common is they have both grown inside of you. Thats why it can be therapeutic to talk to your son about your daughter. As he grows he will have an understanding then of why mommy may sometimes still be sad on certain days when she thinks of his big sister. He will be able to relate, to understand (not so much at first, but definitely as he grows)

Samantha "knows" we tried for a boy and thats why she is here. She will undoubtedly hear the story as she gets older, its inevitable. But i have promised her that she has her own place in this family. That she belongs. That just because she doesnt have a penis doesnt mean she wont be loved and cared for. That while i dreamed of a brother for my girls, a son for my husband, that i think things worked out the way they needed to for a reason and obviously she is meant to bring something to our family dynamic that a son and brother wouldnt have. That even though 4 daughters in i have no clue how to raise the kind of woman i want them to be, that i will always try my best. That i didnt ever see myself as a girl mom let alone an all girl mom and so i am unfortunately learning things as i go. I have told her more recently how excited i am to snuggle her, and feed her..to see her big sister hold her. To see their bond since they are so close in age.

Most will agree a baby let alone an unborn baby doesnt necessarily understand everything you say, or most of it even..its the fact you say it, the tone of voice, its the emotions felt as they swish and move in your belly. How you stroke him when you talk about why you are sad, how it helps YOU heal and move forward with your feelings regarding Liv and now your soon to be born son.

I'm not really convinced that he can hear or feel it, at least not yet (I'm only 14w along). But maybe he can...I went to some pshychics when even the best specialist of the country couldn't tell us anything and they were all very sure that the baby really can hear/feel you and that it's good to say what you want to say. They were also sure they understood it. So it's probably true. And you're doing great I think by talking to your baby and be honest with her.
You describe it perfectly, he was indeed planned and wanted but I always saw myself having only girls. Although I'm not 100% sure he can understand me, I will really talk to him and say all I need to say to him and talk to him about his sister. I just don't think I can do it already. I had the same with Liv. I didn't really felt very connected before I could feel her. So I think in a few weeks I'll follow your advice. It's really beautiful what you say. You're saying better things than my therapist

Is Samantha your baby on the way? I'm sure she'll be an amazing little girl; it moves me how you can handle it so well and make your kids feel important and wanted. That proves what a great mom you are! And maybe she will really be like the boy you both always wanted (only without the penis ). My father told me a few times that he hoped for a boy after my sister, but then there I was...but he always told me he didn't mind anymore because I went to football games with him, played tennis with him and did a lot of things boy love to do. So it can be the same with her.
With all the things I hear from you, it might be that you don't have a clue, but I'm damn sure you're doing an amazing job raising your girls. And remember, nobody's perfect. I'm sure all your girls love you just the way you are. I hope you can look at it as something unique, being a mom of 4 girls. But I know it's not easy because you didn't think of you as an all girl mom. Just as I really don't see myself as a boy mom.

You're maybe right, it's also a form of healing, talking to my unborn baby. And therefore I think it's really important for me to do it, because I'm not healed yet, not for a long time I think, but I'll do anything to progress in the healing process...
Really Burakoam, a job as a therapist would really suit you Thank you so much <3

[sigrid86]

[QUOTE=Wantanother2017;891073]Wow, such strong women in this group! I'm humbled by your stories of struggle and strength. I don't have words to suffice my feelings of sadness for what you've been through.
The truth is, I have never suffered a loss of a child so far. The closest thing I can relate to is the loss of a dream the day I found out my baby was a boy. It crushed me. I have come to terms with it obviously and love my son very much, however I still suffer with GD every single day. I struggle with anger, resentment and jealousy that eats at me if I let it. Some days are better, then come periods where it is more intense.
This is our last shot and I'm scared of my feelings if this is another boy. I've done the counseling, Ive tried discussing my feelings with my husband, I've bought books on GD, nothing has truly helped lessen the pain.
I feel mounds of shame for feeling this way. But 4 years into it I've got to just own my feelings and try to work through them.

I'm glad to know I'm surrounded by such strong and wise women during this pregnancy. During my pregnancy with my son I thought I was the only woman in the world who experienced these feelings, the only one who had to recite "I have a son" to myself out loud to practice saying something so foreign. It was the loneliest time in my life. The feelings were so isolating. I'm so thankful that even though I'm convinced I'll hear boy again, that at least I have overwhelming support from ladies who GET IT. [emoji170][emoji170]

That's really nice to hear! But the thing is: once you come in this situation, you don't have another choice than being 'strong'. You maybe never suffered a loss of a child but you've also felt loss, the loss of a baby girl. I can imagine it crushed you, it did the same to me last week. That's the thing I hate most, just like you also felt: jealousy. It's like I see little girls everywhere and everyone around me gets girls. I think that's something we can only get rid of when we get our girl or with the help of a therapist?
Does your DH understand your GD or really not? I think that does a lot...mine is now very supportive although he doesn't really mind this one's a boy. But if we hadn't lost our girl, he wouldn't understand I think. You don't need to feel ashamed of your feelings. That's the thing with feelings, you just can't help having them...

Indeed, I'm also really glad to be surrounded by this group of amazing, wise, strong and supportive women.
I know, I also thought I was the only one wanting a girl so badly, but I think it has lots to do with the fact it's like a taboo...ofcourse for some people it really doesn't matter, but I believe many people have a preference.
How far along are you now and when will you know the gender? I wish you lots of pink for this pregnancy

[sigrid86]

Hi Sigrid! I wanted to chime in as well....I'm in the 2WW & hope to be lucky enough to be in this group FX lol...but wanted to say that I have 2 wonderful boys-19 months apart (ages 2 & 3) and they are so much fun! I'm super girly, love shopping, love fashion/jewelry, played with my dolls growing up etc.etc. I always thought that I'd have one of each and wanted a girl first. DS1 arrived first and no dissappointment there, just hoped to have a girl next. I wanted a girl soooo bad for baby 2....I decided to wait it out until delivery to find out gender. I felt like it was another boy throughout the pregnancy & instincts were right. However, there was absolutely NO WAY I could be disappointed when I saw this beautiful baby boy looking at me!!! DS1 looks just like DH & DS2 looks just like me...so I think that helps w/bonding in some way. We bonded instantly and it was love at first sight...it was that way with both boys! I never once cried that he was a boy....when you're holding a perfect baby in your arms...could only feel joy! It is a love like no other & so different than just looking at the ultrasound. My boys LOVE their momma!!!! Yes, they love cars, dirt, trucks, superheroes etc, but they watch Frozen & shop with me too I have fun dressing them in cute outfits with bow ties, plaid & hats! They keep me fit since they're very active & we're always on the go. I honestly wouldn't change it for the world!!! I'm swaying for a girl this time b/c I feel like a baby sister would be icing on the cake & complete our family. I'm trying to "will it" to be a girl this time Hoping praying...Not sure how I will feel if #3 is a boy...will cross that bridge. I don't want to feel the pressure of others being disappointed for me either.
I'm sorry to hear what you've been through! I promise you will love your baby boy & will understand the amazing, indescribable feelings once you're holding him in your arms!! Wish you all the best!! Think of an awesome name, plan the coolest nursery, buy some cute clothes & get yourself excited to welcome your little guy!

Hi Lolabelle, thanks a lot for sharing your experience! I'll cross my fingers for you
So great to hear you weren't even disappointed with DS2 although you wanted a girl That gives me hope for birth...and maybe I should have waited knowing the gender, but I just couldn't wait. Sometimes I wonder what's better...waiting or not? I can imagine it helps to see a mini version of yourself
Your story is truely inspiring that you didn't have any GD with none of your boys. That's the thing with me...I only saw an US for now and that doesn't say a lot ofcourse. I do know that I was instantly in love with Liv from the moment I saw her. It was then that I understood why for almost every parents, their children means everything to them. That so overwhelming love! And that the thing now...I don't know if I can love this little guy as much and as soon as I love(d) her. Reading your story it's possible, so I'm really crossing my fingers
Did you sway for a long time? I understand you don't want to feel the pressure of others of being disappointed. Have that as well now...
Really thanks a lot for your kind and hopeful words! And thanks for the tips, I'm gonna buy some clothes real soon and try to find a great name Wish you all the best as well; I'm crossing my fingers for a sticky bean

[sigrid86]

Hi Sigrid, I'm very sorry for your loss...that must be awful and I hope you heal soon I'm sure you'll feel better once your baby is here*
I absolutely fell in love immediately with all of my children. I've honestly never had a gender preference, and this feeling of wanting to have a daughter has only really starting to niggle at me as I'm getting older and childbearing days are coming to an end!! I'm currently 8 weeks pregnant with a very surprise pregnancy. It wasn't planned at all and I didn't get time to sway. I'm still debating on doing the Panorama for genetic reasons but if I go ahead I could know the gender in the next couple of weeks...but i'm still undecided at this point.
All the best with your pregnancy and I truly hope you are blessed with a happy healthy baby who you absolutely adore!!

Thank you! It does feel good to hear so many of you loved their children immediately!
Oh wow, a surprise pregnancy so exciting!! I would do the Panorama test but that's just a personal opinion. Did you always found out the gender immediately or did you sometimes waited for birth?
Thanks a lot! I also wish you all the best in this surprise pregnancy xxx

[sigrid86]

Gosh, this group moves so quickly. Sorry I cannot keep up with all the 'congratulations' etc.

Sigrid, very sad to read your story. Huge hugs to you. But to add to the lovely boys stories - my three are all so different, so gorgeous in their own ways. Yes, I've always wanted a girl and did cry when I found out ds3 was indeed ds3, but I wouldn't change them for the world. He, of course, has been my easiest and happiest child - a true gift from God. My husband and I have said we would be more than happy if this one is a boy, it turns out anything like him! He is actually my first one who's been really interested in cars, trains & typical boys' toys. My other two preferred playing in their toy kitchen & role play games. Now all three are Lego crazy - my husband too, gives me a nice break, they're occupied for hours with it!

I'm only 4 weeks and feel TERRIBLE. Constant all day & night nausea - don't want to eat anything but as soon as I do feel better, which wears off as soon as I stop! Also overtired, shivery in evening, headache, back/shoulder ache & still getting stomach cramps at night (annoyingly mostly in right side - does that mean boy or just uterus expanding that way). Asked dh if he could please un-impregnate me last night and that I don't really want a girl (a boy) this much!!! Gosh hope it ends soon. Feel very guilty as don't think I'm able to be a great mum to the boys - just want to lie on sofa all day.

Hi lucyandboys, indeed it moves quickly I didn't check it for about 10 days so couldn't follow anything anymore But now when I found out we're having a boy, I just wanted to hear other boy mom's experiences.
Thanks a lot! Just like many others, it's funny that the one you wanted to be a girl, is the most amazing little boy It's like they feel it and do their very best, don't you think? Haha my DH is also a real Lego fan I hope this little one will be as great as your last

That's soon to feel this terrible, poor you Ask your DH to do a bit more now. It's really hard to take care of 3 kids when you're feeling like that. And really don't feel guilty, it's only a few weeks (hopefully) you'll feel like this. They won't remember that I wish you all the best in your pregnancy and hope you'll feel better soon! X

[sigrid86]

I am currently ravenous. I still can't eat more than 300-500 calories per meal or more than 250 calories per snack without puking. As long as I stick to these ranges, I can actually eat more than I have all pregnancy! I haven't gained any weight yet and have actually lost weight [emoji20]. I'm hoping this changes soon, since I'm 10 weeks today. I bet I'm hungrier because the baby is going through a growth spurt.


[emoji170][emoji1379]DS1, [emoji577]DS2, & [emoji602]DS3[emoji170]
[emoji166]EDD 9/30/2017 [emoji1317]for pink[emoji166]

If it's any consolation, I felt terrible until 11 weeks. Since then I can eat more. Now, it's rare that I'm nauseous and if I am, it's because I didn't eat for a long time. How was it with the rest of your boys? Last pregnancy I lost weight also, about 2 kgs. But apparently, the baby takes what he/she needs, so I was told not to worry about that. Hope you feel better soon!