Abstained VS every 4 day release - trying for pink

[atomic sagebrush]

Should I take any antihistamines or cranberry or both?
If so whats the dose?

I don't recommend cranberry for any women because I do not believe it is safe.

antihistamines are not getting super results and really cut odds of concetion, but most people do want to give them a try.

THere is a link in my signature to the Complete Index and in it, under "antihistamine" is an essay that will tell you how to do them.

[atomic sagebrush]

My DH is 43 years old. Abstaining is not recommended because of his age. What is the best option? BD every 4 days (CD 6, 10, 14, 18) or FR for 7-10 days and then one attempt at pos OPK?

This depends on how big a hurry you are in to get pregnant and what he is capable of doing.

BEst sway is ~probably~ FR + one attempt at pos OPK but this is difficult for many DH to do and also really cuts odds of conception by a lot.

EVery 4 days will give higher rates of conception and has been getting good results too, so it is a balancing act between your wanting to have that feeling that you have done everything possible to sway and having a good chance of quick conception.

A compromise would be to have DH release every 2-4 days and then go for the one attempt at pos OPK>

[atomic sagebrush]

Should I jump and dump? What is the time frame on that - wait 5 minutes or 10?

I have most people j and d after 5 min. There is no reliable data about it to go off of so that is just what makes sense to me (really nothing more than a guess)

When I got my daughter I stayed laying down all night, so I can guarantee there is nothing magic or mandatory about J and D.

[CurlyPie]

Atomic - I recently asked about abstaining 7-10 days or every 4 days to try and sway pink and you said abstaining is getting the good results. I have read this from you in multiple threads.

I just saw a comment you posted this morning saying "abstaining isn't working well"

I am feeling frustrated reading opposite views within a matter or days... Leaves me uncertain about what I'm doing.

I did baby dance last night. We abstained 6 days and I had a positive opk

[atomic sagebrush]

Sorry that you're feeling frustrated. What you need to understand is that swaying is a work in progress under the best of circumstances and it is NOT a cookie cutter, one size fits all thing where I can lay out "sway factors" that everyone should do and then they get some kind of guarantee. It doesn't work that way and even if it did, we don't have the kind of information available that would enable me to do that.

I have NEVER said that abstaining is getting "the good" results. If you thought I said that, you need to go back and reread what I said because that is not the case. All the frequency patterns are getting lower results than the overall stats of the site. I DO believe that abstain sways pink to some extent and that it is something that some people might want to try and include. ONE ATTEMPT is what is seeming to work, and if a person can manage to get pregnant doing abstain and one attempt, I BELIEVE that is a better sway overall than DTD every 4 days.

The problem is that many people CAN'T get pregnant doing that, and/or it is so stressful that it is just generally problematic and may even sway blue (because being a control freak can tend to sway blue, and you have to be a bit of a control freak to pull off abstain + 1 attempt, so even if the abstain + one attempt is swaying pink, some people undo this by having to become such a control freak to pull it off) so for some people in some circumstances, every 4 days is better. There are TONS of elements that come into play about what is best for a certain person. The most important thing is keeping that one attempt above all else. Abstain, every 4 days, blah blah blah, KEEP THE ONE ATTEMPT

What most people want to do is to start off doing as many sway tactics as possible. Thus, as a general rule, I have people start off doing a frequency pattern like abstain or daily release FIRST, then dropping that as time goes on. So for someone like you who seems like you are just getting started, I would advise starting off with that rather than going right to every 4 days method, which does seem to be working but at least on paper may not be as good a sway as abstain plus one attempt.

[CurlyPie]

Atomic, thank you for your response.

We usually have sex once a week so abstaining wasn't challenging for me.

We dtd every other day when I conceived my DS (not swaying either way), on the first try.

I guess I'll know the outcome in a couple of weeks!

[atomic sagebrush]

good luck!

[hulagirl94]

Just to be sure I'm understanding... My original plan was to abstain....Reading the spreadsheet I'm thinking BD every 4 days may be a better option... Does this mean we BD every 4 days with a condom, and on +OPK being the only day we don't use a condom?

Thank you!

[maidentomother]

BD every 4 days unprotected, no condom. Don't worry about OPKs when BDing every 4 days. You don't even need to use them.

[atomic sagebrush]

Just to be sure I'm understanding... My original plan was to abstain....Reading the spreadsheet I'm thinking BD every 4 days may be a better option... Does this mean we BD every 4 days with a condom, and on +OPK being the only day we don't use a condom?

Thank you!

No, the every 4 day methond means you have unprotected sex every 4 days. No need to use condoms or OPK, just BD every 4 days.

There is nothing magic about having DH release every 4 days. IF anything, it may sway BLUE. But it is just an easy way to be sure you will always be in with one attempt in the fertile window, because that's about the real-world length of time that sperm can survive. Any sperm from prev. attempts will have died off, leaving only one batch on hand to fertilize the egg. This seems to sway strongly pink, for reasons we can only guess at.

POint is, there is no point in having condom sex every 4th day unless you want to.