Frequent release

[harleyquinn]

If FR is NOT an option because it is NOT possible , and I am saying to my poor DH (meaning the info I have read per atomic sagebrush) because honestly, my husband is not capable of DTd (or otherwise) 2X in one day; furthermore, he is incapable of maintaining an erection if we DTD more than 3 days in a row and to complicate matters worse, I have a short follicular phase which makes jamming in more than 5 DTD IMPOSSIBLE, especially with the performance issue occuring right when we are closing in on the finish line of ovulation.

Abstain is not an option as he is close to 40 and I have had 4 miscarriages and not willing to introduce any risk factors at this point.

SO, it is possible to do a custom "frequent release" for YOU, rather than the astronomical amounts of FR recommended on these pages, or is sperm just regenerating every 24-48 hours no matter WHAT? The only sway tactics I am using at this point, are depleted maternal condition, zyrtec and was attempting to lower count because if I do anything else (such as a cut-off or various potions up the VJ, I do not get pregnant. Other factors are not necessarily "swaying" but my husband has a few new "habits" and lifestyle changes he did not have with prior conceptions.

Is it in anyway a postive sign of reduced count, lower testosterone if he cannot do FR?

[pebmcpd7]

Atomic says that FR is not important, it does help but if you can't do it, it is not a fail. You are doing all the other elements of TTC girl... Atomic got her girl DTD every few days which is in the boy zone, Hope all works out for you!!!

[atomic sagebrush]

Frequency, I believe is the absolute LEAST important sway tactic of all and it actually dismays me how much emphasis people put onto it.

It very well may be a sign that things are already taken care of in that department anyway if he's having those sorts of issues (no guarantees, of course.)

We got our DD BD every 4 days in perfect boy frequency and all the blue swayers who swayed blue but got pink, all were having their husbands release every 2-4 days because that's what the blue sway is all about. It is TOTALLY possible to get a girl with "boy frequency".

I think you should go ahead and BD in whatever pattern feels right to YOU and focus on other sway tactics instead.

[harleyquinn]

Oh really????

I thought frequency was more important, than say, timing or pH.

----->at any rate, its good news. Perhaps the SHEER VOLUME of posts about FR 'sways' my thinking

[atomic sagebrush]

The reason why I have so many posts about frequency is solely because I had to spend ages explaining it! I have several essays that need to be written on other topics.

DIET is more important than timing (which is utterly unimportant) and pH (which may also be utterly unimportant, we're not quite sure.)

Maternal condition, diet, blood sugar, sperm count, maternal and paternal levels of testosterone and estrogen - these are the things that really sway. The rest is just really stressful and time consuming window dressing!

[harleyquinn]

OK just for clarification purposes (because I am NOT using FR or abstain in any way), you mention sperm count as an element that really sways, but isn't that the purpose of FR and how is it then the LEAST of important factors? Or perhaps you mean sperm count in ways we have no manipulation of..ie the chemical exposure, biking what-not.

Also, testosterone and estrogen do seem very important, but what I have read and am thinking about atm, is the role of cortisol as the primary factor and in turn, how cortisol affects testosterone, estrogen and progesterone. I am sure this explained somewhere here, but it does seem a common belief out there in the universe "TESTOSTERONE MEANS YOU WILL HAVE A BOY DAMMIT!!" but I tend to believe that when cortisol levels are high, it shuts down or diminishes your production of testosterone (secondary effect); however, it cannot be advised to go stress yourself out for a year with terrible problems, so the way to manipulate this is to put your body in a state of stress by depleting its condition, or maybe diet works in a totally different way independent of hormones....but lack of food and low blood sugar is definitely "stressful" to most people.
I also find myself wondering the effect of DEPRESSION on the sex ratio, the lack of seratonin, dopamine and how in turn this could possibly raise cortisol, diminish testosterone, estrogen and progesterone or have a totally different affect in the whole puzzle.
NOW, in my marriage...FR is definitely causing long-term stress so maybe its a blessing in disguise LOL

[atomic sagebrush]

1)Yes, that's exactly right. A guy can have low sperm count and quality for any of a zillion reasons including pure luck that have nothing whatsoever to do with frequency pattern. Plus, once the sperm is in YOUR body, then the sperm has vastly different rates of survivability depending on your environment (which is also under the umbrella of sperm count.) I believe both sway MUCH more strongly than frequency.

2)It's a tangled web of things that are clearly working together in some way (in fact it's my pet peeve that the handful of scientists doing research on the topic seem incapable of seeing this) and yes, I completely concur with your analysis that diet, blood sugar, hormones, stress, and maternal condition are all working together in some way.

The reason I believe testosterone sways blue is because the data strongly indicates it and also because after 5 years of doing this there are marked differences between boy and girl moms (with exceptions on both sides, of course). I don't talk about it too much because it leads to hurt feelings and misunderstandings. All I'll say is that I saw a dramatic difference in my personality just prior to conceiving my DD than at any other point in my life.

Testosterone, estrogen, cortisol, etc - no one really knows how it all works. I agree that chronic, uncontrollable stress depletes testosterone (probably in similar fashion to how a lifetime of eating a lot of sugar can "wear out" your insulin receptors and cause insulin resistance.) At the same time, I also believe that reducing demand for testosterone (relaxing and avoiding conflict and confrontation) ALSO can lower your testosterone because your body doesn't feel like it needs as much. Two paths to the same destination.

3)Interestingly, a lot of people I know of who are or were being treated for depression and anxiety, seem to have a disproportionate number of boys. As a general rule (again, exceptions abound) moms of girls seem much more even-keeled and accepting of circumstances than the boy moms do.

Not sure if you read my sway or not, but I was under a ghastly amount of stress when I conceived my DD. I'm ALWAYS stressed by my nature, but this was a different sort of scenario all together and I believe it swayed strongly pink for me.

[auroara78]

harleyquinn, my DH had a low, low sex drive when we concieved this little girl. I had to haggle him and force him to get in the mood, and he was worn out from DTD'ing every 3 days. Every 3 days is like a boy frequency pattern, but I had no choice, since it was either do it his way or no sex at all. I still believe his low sex drive was indicative of low testerotone, which I do believe sways pink in men very well.

So if you DH honestly cannot keep an errection with constant DTD'ing, or whatever, do not worry at all...that will sway pink in its own. Imo, frequency (frequent release) is only important in men who have high sex drives / sperm counts and whose wives will want to lower it by doing frquent release.

Ladies who have DH's like ours with a pokey sex drive, we just need to get what we can get, and not to worry, it's swaying on its own! Just like when we DTD on O day to concieve this girl, I had to really fake it because I was so worried if DH didn't think i was into it, Mr. Happy would be unable to continue, and then I wouldn't have gotten pg.

[harleyquinn]

My nutshell hypothesis (and I have been thinking about this for all of one day so its not solid) is that adrenal function IS a large factor in this whole swaying businesss because of the way it affects our hormones and overall condition. A body flooded by cortisol for extended periods of time, or in amounts not normally present is going to invoke some sort of change hormonally and systemically.

Adrenal fatigue (the part about adrenals and stress)

I did read your sway and I think it makes perfect sense to assume your adrenal function was out of whack during that time.

As far as girl moms vs boy moms...first of all its hard not to think that this is statistically a small population to begin with. Its not like 100% of the women out there ONLY have boys or ONLY have girls, so alot of people are eliminated right off the bat and is why you can't say...ok women who are laid back have girls and women with one hair on their aeroloa have boys. I am wondering if it is more for those women who are programmed to have only boys or programmed to have only girls (and I think alot of that is chance, I do), their genetic response to stress is what is triggering the influx of one gender over another. Like, for example, if you are a "girl mom" your body might react to stress by big spurts of cortisol, where a boy mom may be genetically inclined to not produce as much cortisol in the face of stress, and therefore more able to keep testosterone levels high or "normal range" (and therein lays the tricky part because inherent personality traits may influence what you perceive as stress). However, if you are a "boy mom" and for one reason or another (your sway is a perfect example), and your body is unnaturally in a state of adrenal stress from the continual influx of cortisol, your testosterone goes down, and voila a girl is conceived.

I would go so far as to speculate that diet is affecting the adrenal response, because your body does release cortisol for skipping meals and chronically consuming high glycemic foods. But thats just me

And to me, the whole list of inserting this or that 8 hours before, doing FR, timing, pH...all of it needs to be kept in perspective because big checklists are not going to get your DG...you need to change who you ARE, IF and thats a big IF there is even such a thing as a "girl mom" or a "boy mom" to begin with.

Thank you Aurora for the reassurance about FR...that really SUCKED.

[auroara78]

I do believe I am hard wired to make boys. This is a combination of how my natural diet is, my personality, how I percieve stress, and my DH as well.

I do believe I had to get into a different "zone" mentally to make this girl, and part of that was letting go some of the sway and not holding on so tight. I had to remind myself that girls are concieved every day with NO Swaying and that this was not a perfect plan, because being wrapped up in every little iota detail I felt would flare up my testortone more and make it very competitive to me. I literally had to visualize a baby in blue to help myself relax enough to go thru the sway, so that if I did end up with a blue bundle, I could say "I tried."

I do think that is very interesting theory you have harley, and I do think you're right in that stress (and how we react to stress) is a very individual thing. I think that's why figuring out why certain people concieve genders is like trying to unfurl a giant ball of wax because there are so many variables and so much that is individual and hard to just say applies to the general public because we each have a unique body chemistry.

I say without a doubt that I do believe however that in a few years if we got pregannt without swaying I really feel I'd make another boy, just like my mom made 3 girls and 1 boy, I think she just got really lucky with making my brother as her body was obviously more "set" to make girls.