To find out or not to find out?

[Lilian78]

I think not finding out is only a good idea for those who really don't care. It's only a nice surprise if you get what you're hoping for or if you will be just as happy with either. Not finding out seems to me to be just a delay tactic when you do care--in which case, I suppose waiting to find out toward the end of pregnancy might be a nice compromise. I wish I could be one of those people who enjoys a surprise, but I know I'm not. So, I never would have considered not finding out.

[Tulips]

Lilian, I really do care, I had severe GD with DS#2 during his pregnancy after finding out and I hated that. When he was born he was a baby and I love babies, yes he was a boy but I love my kids when they are born. It didn't stop the GD, the desire for a girl or the hurt I felt when first one, then another then another of my friends had girls. I couldn't visit a good friend's daughter when she was born. so no the GD did not go away but for me I know I love my children when they are born. It's not that it's a good surprise, I didn't go Yay he's a boy but I did go oh he's mine I just wish I hadn't been so resentful during his pregnancy and I feel guilty for that, he can't help being a boy and he is very very sweet.

[TulleExplosion]

I didnt find out for my first DD but found out for my next two. The GD hit really hard this time, with #2 I was disappointed but this time I cried for a week or more. It took a lot for me to get pregnant this time so I was hoping my "reward" would finally be the boy I so desperately wanted. I am getting over it and am very excited for July!!

[purplepoet20]

I am starting to think a surprise at delivery would be the best way to go for people who are worried about GD... I was very sad the last 20wks of my 2nd preg and I can't imagine those feelings all over again. I did enjoy every movement and the over all feeling of having another baby.

I wonder if it is worth knowing at 20 wks with the risk of GD until delivery or is it better to stress during the 40wks and then be surprised???

[LolaInLove]

I wonder if it is worth knowing at 20 wks with the risk of GD until delivery or is it better to stress during the 40wks and then be surprised???

This is my feeling exactly! I do very much care what sex this baby is, but I wonder what method is more self-preserving, kwim? For my whole family, really. Would it be better for us to just pop out a 3rd girl and then we won't care about it being another girl as much because we have our sweet baby right there, or would it be better to know and prepare? But then, I don't want to be sad the last half of my pregnancy.

[fivebabies]

We're not going to find out next time...which will drive me crazy but it was my idea. If it's another boy, I'll have saved myself the 20 weeks of sadness ans fall immediately in love when I hold him.. If it's a girl than I'll be that much more surprised. Can't wait!

[nicnee1976]

I agree with purple. I didn't ask about the gender with any of my 3 boys, but with DS3 I accidently saw something on scan that assured me he was a boy and spent the 2nd half of my pregnancy in emotional turmoil. By the time he arrived, my best friend had recently had a stillbirth at 7 months gone (a girl) and I realised the main thing was that he was alive and well. I was totally ready for a boy to arrive and never felt GD with him then. It was only when he was a few months old that I felt a longing for a daughter, but I never felt disappointed that he was a boy when I delivered him. He was just so sweet and alert we loved him instantly. I just wish I could have felt more emotionally close to him when I was carrying him, instead of resenting that he was a boy. Took my friends sad loss to bring me to my senses!!
DH wants to find out this time. I'm not so sure. I reckon I will know by my instincts by full term anyway and I love the surprise after the hard work of labour!!

[swish]

I would not find out, I would assume boy in my head then if it's a girl it's a great surprise. You will fall in love with the baby as soon as you see it, boy or girl!

[sonshines]

I couldn't wait to find out and I had to, to be able to deal with what was to come. I wanted a girl and I had to know if it was or wasn't. I think you should find out just so it won't be hard when he/she is born.

[Hobbermittens]

Don't find out. I didn't find out with my first two, but I did with my 3rd. I had a preference, and when I found out my baby was the opposite of what I wanted, GD ruined my pregnancy and everything afterwards. I am sure if I had waited, I would have been a lot more happy in the delivery room.