To find out or not to find out?

[Tulips]

This is our last baby, we have two boys and found out with both of them. Each time I was sad, I am one of 3 girls and really want a daughter. My sister needs a heart transplant and having a girl means a lot to me.
After I found out I hate to admit it but I was annoyed at my babies why couldn't they be a girl. When they were born I just loved them, I still had strong gender desire but they were my boys and I couldn't dislike them or hold it against them. My thought with this one is not to find out. I know when baby is born I will love them but I still worry because this is the last one and there will be no more hope to pin that desire on will it be harder? Will it be the wrong decision. I am also the sort of person who never quite believes it when I'm told the sex so if they did say girl I don't know if I would believe it and would be anxious the rest of the pregnancy. What do people think find out or not?

[ELP]

I have never found out and it does make a lovely surpsise Also pregnancy does go by so quickly so I think its nice keeping that bit of excitement going for as long as you can. If your like me then when baby is handed to ou then your just glad its over and greatful to this little bundle for finally giving you your sanity back lol, gl x

[nuthinbutpink]

I think it would be fun not to find out. I do not have the willpower to not find out but it would be fun!

[LolaInLove]

I would love to not find out, but like you NBP, don't know if I'll have the willpower either. I MAY try with this one.....this is my last also, so it would be kind of fun to not know and keep everyone in suspense. It's not like people go nuts anymore after your 2nd one comes along, LOL! Plus, it may alleviate any possible GD because, like ELP said, they hand you that sweet baby and you couldn't care less what it is....it's YOUR BABY and you are instantly in love.

[atomic sagebrush]

I didn't find out with DS 1 or 2 and it was great fun, but at that point I had no gender desire at all. With DS 3 I am SO thankful I found out because I was SURE he was a girl and I think I would have been devastated if I had had 20 weeks to plan and dream of this girl that I was so sure was coming. So I do think it was positive that I found out with him.

With DS 4 I knew all about gender disappointment by then and so I wouldn't have been shocked when he came out a boy. I kind of wish I wouldn't have found out with him because I had a long second half of pregnancy and it felt like nothing to look forward to at the birth. I didn't have horrible GD, but it just took the wind out of my sails somehow. He is a dream-come-true baby so I wish I would have enjoyed the pregnancy more.

That isn't much of an answer I know, but I guess my point is, if you already know about GD and you're prepared either way, then if you think it would be helpful to wait until birth, I think that can help you stay out of the GD gutter, because as most have found, you do fall in love with your baby regardless of gender when they arrive. But for people who are really convinced their baby is a certain gender and pinning all their hopes on that, it may be better to find out in advance.

[LolaInLove]

Those are VERY good points, AS....I think the only way I will go with not finding out is if I feel confident enough that I am ok with either gender and don't have my hopes up that it's a boy too much. I bet I'll break down and want to know, though. Heck, I'm intrigued by this gender blood test you can do at 10wks, probably won't hold out! I guess it is a very personal decision for your family and depends a lot on your feelings towards GD and what you hope for....but waiting would be fun.

[Aqua]

I did not find out with my first as it did not matter then what I was having. It was a good surprise. Now that it matters so much what I am having and what I desperatly want I am actually scared to find out and want to push it as far as I can. LIke lola said it depends on your GD. I am hoping I wont find out at the NT scan 2 1/2 weeks from now and I'll get an additional few weeks without knowing cos DH sees no reason why we should not find out!

[puppydogstails]

I also have two boys and i found out with both what i was having. However i didn't have a gd with them ( ds1, i was thrilled, wanted a boy! ds 2, would have liked a girl but was happy with either ) Now, it will matter to me alot what the gender is. I think i'd like to wait. if i'm handed my third little boy after birth i know i will fall in love with him, at a scan, you can't see him, don't know him and it's just 'another boy'. Plus like you said, i don't think i'd belive them if they told me girl anyway. wouldn't belive it untill she was in my arms.......however, once PG, i'm preety sure i'll cave and find out! lol.

[3Pink1Blue]

With dd#3 I was devastated when I found out she was another girl but as time drew on I became more and more ok with it. I still secretly hoped for a boy, literally until I saw her little naked body, but knew it was a girl. After she was born I was in love and my gd disappeared within a few hours.

So here's my thoughts. If you are sure/deeply fear you will have gd I say find out as soon as you can and put yourself out of your misery and then go shopping, plan the nursery and buy a few outfits. I don't want to spend 40 wks getting my hopes up and then have those feelings to sort out while trying to care for a newborn. I'd rather know the truth and spend the rest of my pregnancy moving forward then listen to everyone's guesses, opinions and predictions with a smile on.

[DoulaMama]

I found out with my first 2...had major GD with the second and then vowed never to find out again. My third was a surprise...and I had very little GD with him even though I KNEW the baby was a girl...HUH! I was shocked to see a little penis between his legs! I was even more shocked at how cool I was about him being a boy I know that any more kids I have I will not find out. HTH!