Some thoughts on OCD

[Dana-Alicia]

I think that is very doable maiden! My sons also play with whatever they want, my eldest prefers typical boy stuff like dinosaurs and videogames but my youngest was thrilled with his new kitchen last christmass and he got a babydoll, prem and dollchair for his second birthday. He still loves it to bits <3 It broke my heart when my oldest son asked me to polish his nails and the kids at the playground laughed at him when he proudly showed them. He never wanted to wear it again It was so cruel, as that sweet innocence was gone because some kids don't get raised properly and get taught some things are for boy or girls specifically. I wanted to buy my youngest son a a cleaning set as he loves to help around the house. But they are all in pink or covered in princesses. I managed to find him a red one and he uses it a lot. Just wished it really works lol!

Pebbles&bambam, what is your sil having? Can't believe she would trash a gender like that. People like that really don't understand what a blessing it is to have a child, no matter the gender! I hope she has a girl, not to upset her, but just so she can experience how awesome a daughter would be.

[1+2+3boys]

Just adding in as I forgot to mention how I think ADD can be like OCD and if it has boy sway tendancies. The front part of the brain that controls organisation, short term memory, ability to concentrate and have self control and sense of time of doing tasks has a great lack of dopamine so I really struggle with all these things on a day to day basis and have my whole life. So to be 'normal' I have to over compensate and have to try really hard to be really in control and am constantly thinking about how to be in control/organised. I have to do all kinds of crazy things to remember stuff and and stay focused on tasks and if I am not OCD about it then I fail and fall back to being super unorganised and struggling through life and riding through with alot of luck and maybe even a gaurdian angel! My kids must have one too as they never seem to escape when I forget to lock the gate etc.

We also are quite GN with our toys but also have stereotypical boys and girls toys in the house. If we get our girl I doubt much of our houses contents and surroundings will change.
I think if you teach your kids to be true to who they are and stand tall and not care what others think then it can help with the whole being able to do things that only 'boys or girls' are allowed to do. It is still hard for kids to do though I know but they will get it eventually. Teaching them phrases that are smarter than what other kids can understand can help. (well it did for me) I was one of those kids and am now one of those adults

It is crazy how far we have come for women's rights and how being a man or woman does not effect what you can do in life but kids toys and activities are still so limiting!


ANd I can not believe someone would diss a beautiful newborn -in front of their Mum about ANYTHING let alone 'what it is'

[maidentomother]

Modern marketing is just insane...especially when it comes to kid targeted products.

1+2+3, I so agree about having the right attitude and teaching that to your children so they learn to be proud of their differences and confident in them. Being able to express that verbally and eloquently is icing on the cake! I was mercilessly treated by my peers up until high school so I am very familiar with bullying etc. I do credit it with making me who I am (strong, confident, don't worry what others think) but I wouldn't wish my miserable, lonely childhood on anyone. I just hope I'm able to convey/teach what I learned to my children without them experiencing such extreme adversity.

[hopper]

Ladies just had to add something after all the GN chatter from last week. My oldest DS saw me painting my nails on Sunday, usually he will come and sit by me and maybe pick a colour for me to use. He's a super helper But on Sunday he asked if he could paint my nails. And once he had painted them, and most of my fingers, a lovely coral shade he chose himself he then picked a lovely bright pink for his own nails lol. He was as proud as punch of his pink fingernails though he did ask me to take it off later that evening. His delight was just too sweet, I sincerely wish our kids could retain that wonderful innocence for longer. It's a pity some parents don't view it as the precious gift it is!

[atomic sagebrush]

I'm hoping by not having TV, any toys other than books and by homeschooling likely until high school that I can avoid a lot of these external factors including traditional gender roles. Doable? Any tips?

It is, but don't take it TOO seriously - my boys were homeschooled, only watched PBS (no commercials) and we gave them a Barbie to play with and she ended up naked on the ground with her head ripped off inside of 5 minutes LOL (and not viciously, but it happened!)

Gender stereotypes are sucky to be sure but at the same time there is at least a LITTLE something of reality there, at least in terms of my kids. I think you can avoid the pitfalls without being too worried about whatever tiny % may be innate.

[atomic sagebrush]

Modern marketing is just insane...especially when it comes to kid targeted products.

1+2+3, I so agree about having the right attitude and teaching that to your children so they learn to be proud of their differences and confident in them. Being able to express that verbally and eloquently is icing on the cake! I was mercilessly treated by my peers up until high school so I am very familiar with bullying etc. I do credit it with making me who I am (strong, confident, don't worry what others think) but I wouldn't wish my miserable, lonely childhood on anyone. I just hope I'm able to convey/teach what I learned to my children without them experiencing such extreme adversity.

totally and I even felt like it is psychologically harmful to be a bully as well - I was also teased a lot too and I didn't want my kids to be either teasors or teasees. I don't mean to knock public school because many kids/families do well there, just that in my experience it was a little "lord of the flies-ish" and seemed to create the bully-victim stuff even in kids that might have been the best of friends otherwise. :/