If it fails, is the disappointment WORSE than gender disappointment?

[Aussie Girl]

LW14 I was at HRC Newport, so if you were there you probably did. We heard two other Aussie ladies chatting in the waiting room. I know how you feel, it's gut wrenching, however we didn't even get to fertilizing stage, so our hopes were squished fairly early in the final steps. I had NO IDEA and was no way in anyway prepared for the hurdles and the odds to beat just to get that healthy girl embryo. I think you get blinded by the 99.9% statistics of the sex wanted, not realizing what's involved to get to that statistic and point in the process.
I can sympathise with you in regards to what to do next. I have so many unanswered questions running through my head. Not to mention a very expensive stock of meds I don't currently need. Apparently I didn't respond to the drugs, and was informed that maybe this process was not suited to me and maybe this was my destiny, which was an additional kick in the guts, because I thought I was eliminated the "destiny" factor with this process. I really thought this was the answer to completing our little family. OR it could have simply been a bad month. Just trying to get my head around it all.. No real explanation why it didn't work, which makes it very hard to decide to go back and have similar results, especially if it was just a "bad month"... It's such a massive gamble...


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[nuthinbutpink]

Anytime we have less than 10 fertilize, it's a bit of a gamble to just make it to transfer statistically. You made it to transfer which is great. The one good thing about having a previous cycle is that your doctor can use that response to hopefully get a better response out of you next time. Your response to stims is the best indicator for predicting success so now that trumps your pretesting.

[atomic sagebrush]

I wish I also found this site before I flew to LA in March. We've just got home with our first unsuccessful attempt at GS. Nothing prepared me for the disappointment and hurt I'm currently nursing. [emoji17]

Apparently I didn't respond to the meds and had very poor pretesting or it could have simply been a bad month. Im 34 and had no issues falling pregnant previously. I have two boys! I'm just wondering if this has happened to anyone else, it's been very emotionally and financially draining to get the result we did.

I'm wondering if I'm a freak of nature (female version of Charlie sheen with a high resistance to drugs) or if this is common for other women seeking GS from Australia or worldwide?

Bit of a misconception that GS is guaranteed thing, the end result is, if you manage to defeat the other odds you need to, to get there. I can honestly say, knowing what I know now, and the odds involved and extra hidden costs and the gamble attached, I'm not sure I would have chosen this process for us.


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It has a lot to do with your own individual genetics, unfortunately. All we can do is look at statistics and averages and say, well, a 34 year old should have a pretty fair shot at success - but with poor pretesting, that all goes out the window.

I agree that there are times I feel that people are overly positive about "the guarantee" because it is NOT that you will get a baby of your desired gender. It's only a guarantee IF you get eggs, if you get healthy sperm, if you get good fert. rates, if any of those are your DG, and if you get pregnant and stay that way. It is a gamble though and can mess with your mind in the way that any gamble can - the temptation to "throw good money after bad" and keep cycling beyond what you can afford is really strong.

As I"m sure you understand everyone is on their own journeys here and others may need to maintain positivity for their own reasons, so guard your heart and do your own research and listen with a discerning ear!!

[atomic sagebrush]

LW14 I was at HRC Newport, so if you were there you probably did. We heard two other Aussie ladies chatting in the waiting room. I know how you feel, it's gut wrenching, however we didn't even get to fertilizing stage, so our hopes were squished fairly early in the final steps. I had NO IDEA and was no way in anyway prepared for the hurdles and the odds to beat just to get that healthy girl embryo. I think you get blinded by the 99.9% statistics of the sex wanted, not realizing what's involved to get to that statistic and point in the process.
I can sympathise with you in regards to what to do next. I have so many unanswered questions running through my head. Not to mention a very expensive stock of meds I don't currently need. Apparently I didn't respond to the drugs, and was informed that maybe this process was not suited to me and maybe this was my destiny, which was an additional kick in the guts, because I thought I was eliminated the "destiny" factor with this process. I really thought this was the answer to completing our little family. OR it could have simply been a bad month. Just trying to get my head around it all.. No real explanation why it didn't work, which makes it very hard to decide to go back and have similar results, especially if it was just a "bad month"... It's such a massive gamble...


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Just giving it to you absolutely straight here - the doctors are often overly positive and optimistic about success rates (even at times when they maybe shouldn't be) and if your doctor is saying this may not be suited to you...I'm sorry but I would take that pretty seriously.