DH and low sex drive

[Zivic-Bubac]

OK, my sex drive is as just low as his but we are TTC for crying out loud!
Under normal circumstances we BD 1-2 times a week, sometimes less, never more, usually on weekend. He is 37 ( is that old?), I'm 38.
I understand he works lot and when he comes home he is exhausted but he was complaining so much last night and acted like he was doing me a huge favor

Part of the problem is that he doesn't even want 3rd child and he feels we are done having kids. I told him I just got to have my baby boy and he agreed. He is a good man and I'm sure he will fall in love with the baby the moment he sees HIM (lol!)

As I said, I usually don't feel like BDing, I don't feel like it now either, but I know we have to do it around O and unfortunately it's not weekend.
Is this normal, to have such low sex drive? It wasn't like that before....I guess we are getting older but then again nobody is getting younger

[Gus]

I'vev never had a high drive but since my thyroid got al screwy it has been non-existent. I couldn't be less interested in sex. Have you had yours tested?

[Zivic-Bubac]

Umm, no :worried:
My sister has autoimmune thyreoiditis ( Hashimoto's disease - hypothyreosis)
Maybe my DH should be the first in line for tests lol!

[atomic sagebrush]

OK, my sex drive is as just low as his but we are TTC for crying out loud!
Under normal circumstances we BD 1-2 times a week, sometimes less, never more, usually on weekend. He is 37 ( is that old?), I'm 38.
I understand he works lot and when he comes home he is exhausted but he was complaining so much last night and acted like he was doing me a huge favor

Part of the problem is that he doesn't even want 3rd child and he feels we are done having kids. I told him I just got to have my baby boy and he agreed. He is a good man and I'm sure he will fall in love with the baby the moment he sees HIM (lol!)

As I said, I usually don't feel like BDing, I don't feel like it now either, but I know we have to do it around O and unfortunately it's not weekend.
Is this normal, to have such low sex drive? It wasn't like that before....I guess we are getting older but then again nobody is getting younger

I do think it's a bit normal although I wish I could send you some of my DH's sex drive LOL!!! He is still driving me crazy and he is 41!! It does make it harder to TTC.

[Tiny Dancer]

I think it's normal for some. I am certainly in the same boat. My DH is definitely this way. He is 42 and has been like this for a few years now. I think in our situation with having children and me being a stay at home mom he really feels put on the back burner. Also with work and his travel schedule, plus the kids always being around it's really hard to schedule in some "us" time which I think is so important. I'm trying to do more date nights and making an effort to hang out with him after I put the kids to bed (even though I'm exhausted and just want to kick back). It seems to be helping. What if you try kicking it up a notch and pulling out some lingerie or doing something to make him feel special?

[LolaInLove]

Or try some porn! I just read that in this funny pregnancy book....I LOL at that because that is absolutely the LAST thing I want to watch after putting the kids to bed....I am not a porn fan anyway, so not a voyeur type. BUT, this woman in this book says she and her husband decided to just scrap the opks and all that crazy stuff because they felt it was too sex on demand, so they watched porn together every other day and ended up getting pg. HA!

But seriously, mine has a low sex drive too, I am the one that is always bugging him! The ttc sex is hard, especially when you are tired and then you have to try to have a big O for a boy! Just try to do something a bit fun maybe, spice it up somehow and perhaps it will help. When in doubt, I go buy some new panties that are cute, as opposed to my normal 8-pack of Hanes plain boring ones. Little and kinda stupid, but you know how men are.....the sight of skimpy red panties is enough to do it sometimes.

[DoulaMama]

Little and kinda stupid, but you know how men are.....the sight of skimpy red panties is enough to do it sometimes.

Yes to this! I usually don't say anything...I just come wandering out of the bathroom at bedtime wearing something along these lines and all of a sudden he's not tired anymore....LOL! Although I have this problem more than my hubby...and he's 11 years older than me!! I just have zero drive since having kiddo #3. I'm getting my hormones/thyroid checked soon.... Suzanne Somers goes into detail about hormone and how they affect sex drive etc in one of her books. It's very important Saliva testing is way more accurate than blood testing if you can find a place to do it. An endocrinologist can help you. Does he have a "beer belly" by chance?

[Zivic-Bubac]

Thanks for ideas guys! Lingerie is great idea, I have 2 hot panties (1 should be enough! LOL!) and push-up bra ( there is not much to push up, but still...LOLOL!) and watching porn together - not bad idea at all

DoulaMam - yes, he has beer belly, he gained around 15 kg in the last 5-6 years and it all went to belly He doesn't drink beer though.

[LolaInLove]

My DH is 38, but he is ALWAYS tired....he's a professional dancer, so he is pretty much working out all day long....doesn't leave much left for the evening energy there. No to mention that he can sleep like a dead bear. Seriously, 12-13 hour nights if he can, I just can't do that (unless I was hammered the night before, which those days are long gone!!!). We're kinda weekend sex people because of that. I'd definitely try some slinky duds and if you can deal, some "adult entertainment."