obsessing!

[rainbowflower]

I've seen written several times that obsessing can raise testosterone levels (swaying blue) but is there any evidence for this?
In a few places on the web it says that stressing can raise testosterone levels, but this isn't the same as obsessing. To me, stressing is when you start to feel overwhelmed by a situation, but obsessing is when you just think/do things for that a lot...

And surely it's not possible to sway at all without obsessing as the only way to do that would be to not care? But because we're all either very broody or have enough GD to want to sway in the first place we all must think about it an awful lot? It seems to take a lot of willpower to stick to the regiments of a sway! So how does anyone who is swaying pink ever get girls? lol

[atomic sagebrush]

The way people get girls is because the physical aspects of swaying (like losing weight, changing your diet, taking supps) overcome the mental aspects, and also because the mechanical things we do (like lowering sperm count and manipulating our CM) emulate the effects of lower testosterone production.

The scientific evidence in regards to testosterone involves taking on challenges at which you can succeed or fail, like sports matches and even chess games. EVERYONE'S testosterone rises in anticipation of taking on challenges that are very important to you, it's how our bodies work. Is there a specific study that says, "Getting obsessed over swaying causes opposites X% of the time", well, obviously not.

ETA - THIS PARAGRAPH IS TALKING ABOUT FAILED PINK SWAYS NOT BLUE SWAYS. By this point I have seen A LOT of pink sways, some that succeeded and some that failed. Of the "perfect" pink sways (there were failed sways amongst the pink swayers that didn't sway very hard, but I mean the people who really did do everything they could and still got an opposite), the ones that failed were practically always the people who were the most hardcore about swaying. Some of the "best" PINK sways have failed. People think, "wow if her sway failed then swaying can't work" but the reason WHY the sway failed was at least in part because their T rose due to their obsessiveness over their sway. They were going to "win" at swaying, swaying was a dragon they could slay or an opponent they could defeat and that attitude is proven to raise testosterone. AGAIN THIS APPLIES ONLY TO PINK SWAYERS.

OF COURSE you're going to think about swaying a lot. Undoubtedly. But you can do a lot to mitigate the obsessiveness about it. Filling out paperwork, making endless lists and charts, checking your pH 47 times a day and freaking out when it goes from 4.6 to 4.8, brewing up douches and doing several sessions of practice BD, measuring every scrap of food you put into your mouth and worrying about the tiny amounts of minerals in this or that...it keeps swaycession in the front of your mind every second of every day and it makes your body "think" that you are in the midst of some huge challenge for survival. And if your body thinks you need massive amounts of testosterone to survive, it will do what it takes to produce that testosterone, even if your diet and exercise don't otherwise support testosterone production. Humans haven't survived for a million years by ceasing production of testosterone when a challenge was onhand.

[Flava]

I did not get any of my girls this way...for the last one I was ttc boy so I was suppose to have high T? But it just failed because I was trying to hard?
This don't feel so good... And everyone who do sway want to "win" or not?

[atomic sagebrush]

I did not get any of my girls this way...for the last one I was ttc boy so I was suppose to have high T? But it just failed because I was trying to hard?
This don't feel so good... And everyone who do sway want to "win" or not?

flava, if anything obsessing over swaying sways blue. The person who started this thread was a pink swayer so I was kinda skewing the answer to apply to pink swayers. The people who I was talking about (and I realize this was not clear and I am sorry for that, I will edit it) whose "perfect" sways failed were PINK swayers. I think when blue sways fail it is for a whole different reason all togther, mainly lower sperm count in the DH and also problems with the swaying advice itself (like, I don't know if I think sky high pH is really even that great for sperm).

Not saying that this applies to you personally, but I do think that some moms who have girls have a tendency to get overwhelmed and defeated by the very idea of swaying and that actually may lower testosterone. Being defeated lowers T levels. If a person thinks they are doomed and nothing they do will make any difference, that's not going to help raise testosterone in any way. If a person thinks down deep in their belly that they're going to fail before they even start, that's not going to send the same message to the body as taking on a big challenge at which they think they'll succeed. I don't mean to generalize in any way because there are tons of exceptions on both sides of the aisle, we are talking about overall tendencies.

The attitude of, "I'm GOING to get my DG because I will do everything exactly right and I will laugh in the face of Fate" is very different than, "Well, this is probably going to fail because I am cursed and Destiny hates me and nothing I do ever works out anyway." One raises testosterone but the other lowers it.

Also, I think the idea that reduced fertility sways pink trumps the testosterone, so even people with the highest testosterone, if they have lowered fertility (or their husband does) they may be more likely to conceive daughters regardless of anything that their testosterone is doing.

I really really think that EVERYONE has the ability to have a baby of their DG

[rainbowflower]

thank you for your answer, as always
that does make sense! although, to me, if 80% is best chance there will always be a 20% regardless so probably many factors in sways failing!

hopefully when it's my turn to TTC again I can be one of those who don't get too caught up in the details!

[Flava]

I know it was for pink swayers ! That's why I said I did not do any of this thing when i got my girls and still got girls and not boys. Just like when you always say you did not do this and that and still got boys.
But for the last one I was ttc boy don't know if I had high T or not but it failed ang got another girl.
For the other part I would love to have the "attitude of, "I'm GOING to get my DG " but how?? This would be so nice to figure out What can i do if Im just scared it will not work again? I do try to think positive but not really working . At least not just yet.
Like today at the store I saw a family with 5 boys and of course I was thinking this will be me with 5 girls omg I better don't sway.

[atomic sagebrush]

Ok got it DUH! I'm actually glad I misunderstood though because I do think it clarified my answer.

I totally understand and I wish I had the right answers. I really, really do believe in swaying or I wouldn't be here. I completely get the fear of trying again and if you can't make peace with it, you're probably right and you shouldn't sway.

That having been said there is not a single doubt in my mind that you are perfectly capable of conceiving a son and you for sure deserve to succeed, and if you do decide to go ahead I will still be here cheering you on.

The only advice I can give is just a thousand times a day tell yourself that you can do it and that you WILL do it and don't ever let that fear take hold.

[Flava]

That having been said there is not a single doubt in my mind that you are perfectly capable of conceiving a son and you for sure deserve to succeed, and if you do decide to go ahead I will still be here cheering you on.

The only advice I can give is just a thousand times a day tell yourself that you can do it and that you WILL do it and don't ever let that fear take hold.

Thanks ! For sure i better start thinking this way and maybe it will help . I don't even know if I was already pregnant with a boy or not because I lost 5
Im trying to have a son for almost 6 years now and in the meantime I got 2 more girls. Just so tired of all this it's just must work this time

[atomic sagebrush]

I'm sorry Flava. That is why I work as hard as I do on this, I really want everyone to get their DG without the pain and struggle that some have had to endure. ♥♥♥

[PolishPrincess]

I just have to say that AS- I really appreciate your appoach to coaching us. This has been such a different experience for me than it was elsewhere. I feel lack of pressure and I don't feel like if I skip parts of swaying I am a failure or defeated. I also feel like my questions are not a burden or stupid which is huge when trying to figure out what the plan is. I feel like this website is such a safety net for me now...no matter what happens I will be cheered on and my baby will be celebrated no matter who shows up. That really means so much.