pregnant and sad due to another girl

[naomihp]

Hi
i have just found out i am having another girl and instead of crying with joy i broke down because i was so disappointed.
I had convinced myself it was a boy and due to the fact every baby born in my husbands family has been a boy i thought it was bound to be.
I had created this fantasy about my son and was in love with him. Finding out its a girl has left me feeling like i have lost him and i feel nothing for the child inside me. My husband is very happy as he already has a son. I already have a daughter and she loves my husband and calls him Daddy, they have a great relationship. However his son and i do not get on, there is no affection let alone love in our relationship and i feel like i've lost the opportunity to have a beautiful boy. I have always wanted a boy but never experienced this disappointment with my daughter as always thought i would have more. I am due to have a hysterectomy after this baby and it breaks my heart knowing that i won't have a son.
I resent my husband and everyone around me is telling me to be grateful and get over it but i feel broken by this knowledge. She kicks and moves and instead of being happy it makes me cry.
I've been told that as soon as she is born i will love her but i'm so scared i won't and that i won't want anything to do with her.
Has anyone struggled to bond with their baby after this kind of experience? Should i talk to someone? I'm so glad i found this site i've been feeling very isolated and like a terrible person.

[atomic sagebrush]

I am so sorry that you are struggling. Lots of us on here had feelings of sorrow when we found out the gender of our baby! I know you will get a lot of good support here.

[nuthinbutpink]

I think it is love at first site with your first. After the first, with each child, you wonder how can I love this one as much as I loved my first? Sometimes, it takes time but it will happen. Pregnancy hormones can be rough and once she is here and you get to see her face and start to see her personality come out, love will be there. A sister for your daughter is a wonderful gift.

[haymon2and1]

I would never admit this to anyone..except with you ladies on this site but when I found out I was pregnant with ds2 I was completely devastated. To the point of not wanting to be pregnant anymore. I cried daily for weeks. At the site of a baby girl I would burst into tears. But as soon as I held him in my arms I was so head over heels in love (and I honestly didn't feel that strong of a bond with my first until a few weeks). He is everything to me - I have spoilt him rotten haha. And the best part is seeing both my sons laugh and play and love each other! They are best friends!! I know how you feel and so many others do too..you will love her!