I feel so selfish - Christmas baby...?

[Prepsina2014]

Hi girls.
I have to vent and hear your opinion because I feel so selfish and got really upset when I realized that if we get a BFP this month my due date will be December 23rd! I have always said I would not "make" a Christmas baby because I always felt bad for the kids who have their birthday right around Christmas time - and never knew what to by for presents because they had just had their Christmas present...
Our situation is that we had our first attempt in April 2013 after 6 weeks on the diet. I fell pregnant in August 2013 (a successful girl sway as it turned out) but had to end the pregnancy as the baby had a fatal chromosome defect. Since then it has been a five months of TTC and a cycle that has been all messed up because of the termination of the pregnancy.
I am so upset to have been on the LE diet and TTC for A YEAR now praying and longing for a healthy baby. Also it puts things into perspective that I would have started my maternity leave now had we been allowed to keep the pregnancy. Instead I have "an empty" tummy and fell hungry and gloomy.
This morning I looked up a possible due date and realized it would be spot on Christmas... I really want to become pregnant now. We are so fed up trying and fed up with the diet. And we are now being seen by a fertility doctor to regulate my cycle. I have five (!) beautiful follicles growing and have a scan on Monday. But when we TTC our son we deliberately did not try in the month that would have made a Christmas baby and here I am trying to make a Christmas baby. Am I being super selfish? Would the child hate her birthday?
Thanks ladies for a wonderful forum where it's allowed to feel and vent anything

[MatildaMai]

My nephew's birthday is 23rd Dec. My SIL goes to huge effort and has great parties for him. Its kind of fun actually because school is finished (we are in Australia) and most of the family is off work usually by then and in the party mood. My husband's b'day is 3 Jan and his brother is 20 Dec. Also quite close to Xmas. They don't like getting one big present instead of separate Xmas and birthday presents but other than that I'd say they are grateful their parents DTD when they did as if they hadn't - they wouldn't be here!

[SamS_TTCPink]

I'm so sorry to hear if your loss, and I understand that "empty" feeling as we also had to terminate a pregnancy once, due to my health (I was told I would have died).

In relation to a Xmas baby, My cousins birthday is 28th December and he has never minded at all. In fact he has always enjoyed the fact that everyone is off work/school etc and so can celebrate his birthday with him. He is 27 and we have always celebrated his birthday completely separate to Xmas and he said he has never hated that it's close to Xmas at all.

Our due date is December 8th and I'm actually really looking forward to having a new bundle of joy at Xmas.

I don't think your child would hate their birthday, as long as it was always completely separated from Xmas celebrations.

With all the things that may or may not happen from each month to the next, and the fact that babies aren't usually born on their due date anyway, I don't think you're being selfish at all. 💜😊




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[bluebonnet22]

I'm so sorry for your loss, definitely try this month! Your child's birthday will be as special as you make it.

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[daisymoo]

Sorry to hear what you've been through That must have been very tough. I would not worry one bit about Christmas birthdays. I think if anything they're extra special. It's a lovely time of year, everybody's happy and celebrating. My ds2 has a birthday in December and Christmas doesn't take away from his birthday at all. In fact I think it's more magical that time of year. Best of luck with your attempt. I'm hoping I get a bfp this month and have a little Christmas bundle this year! What better present under the tree! Fingers crossed for you too.


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[Prepsina2014]

Thanks ladies for your kind words and positive stories.
Today is extra hard. We are staying in a wonderful house owned by some of my husband's relatives - they were supposed to not be here this weekend, so I find myself lying that I have an upset tummy and diahorea and therefore cannot eat the beautiful food they are cooking for us. I would have never gone had I known we would be staying with them for almost 3 days in the same house. I HATE lying. The woman is a really intelligent doctor so I really cannot tell my normal "lie" of being checked for allergies. She would never believe it. She keeps asking me when the illness started and what she can do to help... Lovely lady ("Oh, thanks, can you make me pregnant?" doesn't seem a very appropriate answer... ha ha ha)

[mommymachine]

My DS2's Birthday is Decemeber 28th. He is now 6 and I think we have been successful at making his birthday every year just as special as it would be any other time of the year. We have a $50 spending cap for each child's birthday and Christmas. He does not get less presents just because his birthday is 3 days after. Plus he gets a family birthday on January 1st, and a friends birthday later in January.

Yes, it is a little crazy and by New Years I am exhausted, but my husbands birthday is December 15th, so my husband is very much on the same page that pushing ourselves to make his birthday special is important.

So far, he has shown that he really really loves having his birthday so close to Christmas

[nuthinbutpink]

The alternative is she would never be here at all. Once that egg ovulates, if you wait until the next month, it's a different child. I think that trumps the birthday worry! Never existing would be a bummer!

[atomic sagebrush]

I have one who is born Dec 9 and one who is born Dec. 21, and we actually really enjoy it. It makes the whole month much more festive. We sort of start celebrating Christmas on Dec. 9 which I enjoy because it gives a little lull between fall holidays and Christmas (some people start Christmas very early here and I like to enjoy the fall time too) and we often get our tree that day. Then on the 21st it's like the beginning of actual Christmas parties and celebrations.