Hi, I'm new and dreaming of a girl

[Candydavis153]

Hi everyone, my name is Candy. I'm a wife, teacher, and mom to two amazing boys (19 months and 4 years old). I love my boys so much and they make me so happy (and drive me crazy at the same time), but I have always dreamed of having a girl ever since I was little. My dreams came true when I found out I was pregnant with a girl, but they came crashing down when she was diagnosed with trisomy 18. Babies with Trisomy 18 usually miscarry early, die later in the womb, are still-born, or only live a short time after birth. We decided to carry her to term(our doctor recommended termination) and she lived 28 days. It was devastating and left a huge hole in my heart. All I wanted was a healthy baby. I feel so blessed to have my two healthy boys and they have helped to fill the hole in my heart, but it's still there. I desperately want a girl and so does my husband. We both only wanted two kids so we convinced ourselves that we are done. Now we're contemplating having another baby if we can somehow be sure that it's a girl. I read about Microsort and was exploring the option of going to Mexico, but from reading the forums, it sounds like IVF with PGD is the best way to go. I have nothing against it morally/ethically, but it feels like an extreme measure for us to take. And of course one of the main issues is the cost. We just used up a lot of our savings to move back to Hawaii and plus our lower incomes and higher cost of living makes things difficult. Then there's my conscious. I feel like I should be grateful and content to have my two healthy boys, but I can't let go of this desire to have a girl. This is such a controversial topic and I feel like I have no one to talk to about it. It's nice to read similar stories and know that there's people out there who feel the same as I do. I don't know where this journey will lead me, but it sounds nice to have a support group no matter which route we decide to take. Thanks for reading

[granddaughter]

Welcome, so sorry for your loss that is heartbreaking, I would say think 5 years from now will you have wish that you at least tried. No sure about microsort, most are doing the sway or IVF with PGD. The cost is high but so is having another boy and then trying to do IVF. It is a lot to think about.

[SamS_TTCPink]

Welcome and what a sad story about your daughter, but what a very special and precious 28days it must have been with her. You have found a source of so much support and understanding on this site and I wish you goodluck with whatever journey you choose to take. x

[atomic sagebrush]

Hi and welcome!! So sorry to hear of your loss.