Born worrier ....

[keepthefaith]

I've been reading and realise how much stressing and worrying sways blue and I know for a fact that no matter how hard I sway pink, I'm a born worrier and can't help myself?!? There is no point me saying I will try not to stress, overanalyse etc as it's in my make up and prob why I have two boys!! Please reassure me I still have a chance of swaying pink or should I hang up my hopes and move on? 😯😦 xx

[atomic sagebrush]

Virtually all of us who have numerous boys are wound up little balls of anxiety (myself included) and yet we do still go onto have girls eventually for the most part.

You can't stress about stress. That takes a less than ideal situation into a disaster. Stress does not sway blue, trying to control everything does seem to. Quit worrying about stress, we all ahve it, pink and blue alike.

Here is the response that I have written somewhere else on this topic:

YOU DON'T HAVE TO CHANGE WHO YOU ARE. That is not what I am trying to get you guys to take away from this. It is IMPOSSIBLE to do that and you only end up replacing one set of worries/anxieties for another, and then I end up seeing people freaking out because they feel a little stressed out or something, versus freaking out over tracking their temps or pH levels.

You are not going to be able to change the fundamental nature of your personality. That's not going to happen, and worrying about things that are of your essence and unchangeable, only feeds the beast. What I want you to focus on is the EASILY controllable side of it. The tangible stuff. Don't view swaying as a game you can win, don't make up flow charts or 10 point plans or test your pH 20 times a day, don't decide now is the time to take up roller derby or enter the Pillsbury bake off, that kind of thing. But also don't, don't, a thousand times don't, go over your whole entire life worrying about stuff that is just who you are.

[stephk]

hi Elaine - I am a born worrier too, my DH says I always have something to worry about!! But there is a difference between worrying about something and trying to control it. As atomic says above, you have to accept yourself for who you are, trying to change is pointless. Please dont worry about worrying (I know that is sometimes easier said than done!)

Everyone has a chance of swaying pink no matter what they do, what they eat, what they worry about. There are no guarantees anyway so absolutely no point in fretting over something you have no control/influence over. Just do what you can with the diet/exercise/whatever you have chosen to do and leave it at that. If worrysome thoughts happen to creep into your head from time to time, just allow it, without judgement, and they will pass.

[WantingPink]

Yes I too am a worrier, a what if, a excel spreadsheet geek, a perfectionist, flow charts, always thinking about the future, OCD, etc. I think one of the reasons why I was able to have a girl is because I quit my job. My job was in QA for an FDA regulated medical field. It was very stressful and it was my job to analyze data, come up with solutions, implement those solutions, track data on those solutions, and then eventually answer to the VPs, CEO, and the FDA about how those solutions were or weren't working. I also was a project manager in that role so again you need to keep everyone on track (aka control everyone) to meet your timelines and deadlines. My point is my job was to try and control and predict problems in a field where the FDA can shut your company down if you don't. Just thinking about it again makes me stress out

Once I quit my job I still worried about my kids, their welfare, how much money we had, did I leave the garage door open, etc. but I wasn't trying to control every aspect and predict where things would go wrong and try to fix them before it happened. I didn't analyze my sway. I did study it well in advance and picked things that I thought would give me the most results and things that fit into my life so it didn't cause further stress. I didn't analyze the data that is available. I did look over the data and looked at what was getting good results. I did do OPK, but I didn't do temping or pH. Temping just didn't work for me and it caused more problems than it solved.

I think you can find a happy medium. Maybe there are somethings in your life that really do cause stress and you can make small changes to make them less stressful. I know most of my stress is self induced. I take on too many things, the kids are in too many activities, I foster too many animals, I want the house to be clean all the time, I plant too many flowers and then have to take care of them. There will always be somethings that you worry about however, if there are a few things you can take off your plate or change that would cause you less overall stress it might be worth doing those things. Everyone is different and you need to do what you know will lessen the load without causing more anxiety and stress. Your sway doesn't need to be "perfect" it just needs to be perfect for you. I hope that makes sense and it is possible for us type A, OCD, worriers to have girls!!

[keepthefaith]

Makes a lot of sense, thanks for advice.