Just need to let it out

[Shenanigans]

So incredibly disappointed. Well, to start off, we have 3 boys. Then in May of 2013 I had a miscarriage at 6 weeks. In February of 2014 I was again pregnant and just over 9 weeks and went for an ultrasound. We found out the baby had just died. Ended up with an emergency d and c two weeks later. We conceived again in September of 2014 and everything was going great. Was more sick than ever but at 13 weeks I couldn't find a heartbeat on you home doppler so freaked and went to the ER and found out baby had died at 12 weeks. After another d and c we found out she had been a healthy girl and there was no explanation. I did sway for her. My sister and I were due only two weeks apart and she was also having a girl. Well, she just had her baby on Monday evening and wow, this is harder than I thought. Mainly because we are pregnant again and almost 19 weeks now, this time using prenatals with a special kind of folate, baby aspirin, Nac and fish oil supplements. That has helped us make it this far now. Well we are expecting a boy again and while I can never be disappointed in a healthy baby, I just long so so deeply for my daughter. We will try again I think one more time but so nervous about the possibility of 5 boys. We could never afford PGD so that isn't even an option. I'm pretty sure taking the supplements before conceiving contributed to having a boy this time but it is still hard. Maybe next time will wait to start supplements until after positive test. Sorry to be so long winded. Most people just don't understand....

[pink_bean]

First, I am very sorry for your losses. I understand your pain of longing for a daughter. Please don't blame yourself or feel bad about taking the supplements. You were thinking of your baby's health. I'm sorry you didn't hear girl this time. I hope you do hear girl next time. I hope you find peace and we do understand how you feel so come here to vent when you feel the need.

[Claire33]

I'm so sorry for your losses and all that you have had to deal with. You have had more than your fair share of bad luck. Congrats on your healthy baby boy! And I do hope you will have a daughter one day.

[Shenanigans]

Thank you. It is nice to know there are people who understand and won't give me a lecture about just being thankful, etc.

[netti02]

Wow sorry for your losses i can absolutely understand how hard it must be right now. I have 4 sons and i am desperate for my daughter. Its something only a mother of boys will understand. Best of luck xx

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