Scared of dying in childbirth because...

[CarolineSinclair]

....I had heart palpitations before the IUI.

I began getting palpitations on June 19. I went to my GP and a cardiologist right away. I have had 3 EKGs since then, wore a Holter monitor for 2 days, and had an echogram. The EKGs and echograms came out fine according to the Dr., but the Holter monitor recorded 14 skipped beats or premature beats in the span of the 2 days but he said that only puts me in the 1%range of irregular heartbeat and said that is not cause for alarm, and gave me permission to do the IUI. He makes out the palps are from stress but I don't believe it because I never had them before and wasn't even particularly stressed when they started. The day of the IUI I was nervous as Hell and didn't have them...

I did it on July 15. I am actually sorry I did it because I have this terrible fear that there is something dreadfully wrong with my heart and both the baby and I will die, if there is one, which I assume there is because I can't see why it wouldn't have worked. I am 39 and didn't require any medication. I used donor sperm because I am single.

I will be 40 if I have a baby and I'm scared my age will increase my chances of us dying. Also, I have Hashimoto's Disease and am a short, small boned woman and my donor was tall and kind of broad shouldered.

I am so scared, please someone help!

[nuthinbutpink]

So you don't actually know if you are even pregnant yet? First things first! I'd worry about that for now and then move on to other what ifs!

[CarolineSinclair]

No, I don't know yet. I took a hpt yesterday, which was negative, but I think it was too soon. I will take the other one tomorrow, I also have an appointment with Planned Parenthood, maybe they will do a test. I am too nervous to wait the full two weeks. I can't even sleep for worry, about everything about this. I feel like I've done a selfish, terrible thing because I have no husband to help, or even boyfriend, I have no job because I was ill 2 years ago and lost it, I have no BA degree, I live with my father and sister, he is 75 and she is 48 and has to work long hours.

I chose an open identity donor but I still feel I was wrong to bring a child in without a real father.

I know I shouldn't worry until I know but I am the kind of person who thinks way far ahead and looks at all the negative possibilities.

I think it worked because I've had cramping ever since I did it (July 15), my period would be due July 25 if I get a 28 day cycle.

[fiveboys]

I don't understand why did you decide to start the ht journey then as you said you always look ahead of situations..i dont mean to sound insensitive as your obviously very emotional right now maybe you should speak to a qualified person about your feelings xxx

[nuthinbutpink]

This is a major event and I think feelings of 'oh no' are normal. It's a big deal. I think IUI at 40 is tough. Pregnancy rates are low for everyone with an IUI and the older we are, the harder it is. Why are you going to Planned Parenthood and not your OB? Who did the IUI?

[CarolineSinclair]

I'm checking out Planned Parenthood because my fertility clinic won't test until 2 weeks, so the 29th for me. I'm hoping PP can do it sooner. Also, I feel more comfortable to talk to them about my fears over the fertility clinic.

I was still 39 when I did the IUI, I will be 40 at the end of September.

As for why I did it, because my family is very baby crazy (my aunts and cousins I mean) and were putting pressure on me in addition to friends.

It was Shady Grove Fertility.

[atomic sagebrush]

I have had skipped beats and premature beats since I was 11 years old and started puberty, and I have had 5 children since then. Had one at 39 and one at 42 with no issues. I also have an additional problem where my heart will beat for 220 beats a minute for up to an hour sometimes (but this is much rarer and nothing you likely need to worry about) and it is still not considered serious or any reason not to have a child.

I absolutely do find that the skipped beats are worse with stress, caffeine, and too much sugar but I know thyroid can aggravate them. Many women also find that they get worse as we age but then go away entirely after menopause. I can go for months without having them and then have a whole bunch for a few weeks and then they go away again. If there was something really, truly, wrong, they would have seen it. The medical industry may have its problems but it is top notch with heart issues. There are very few serious things that they can't see on echo or pick up via EKG.

I actually wrote an essay about this because so many women have this crop up during pregnancy and you can read it here. http://genderdreaming.com/forum/preg...-pregnant.html

[atomic sagebrush]

My husband is 6-3 and a big guy and I am 5-4 and petite. I have had babies vaginally from 7 lbs 13 oz up to 8 lbs 9 oz. and never had a single heart issue while I was giving birth with any of them including when I was 39 and 42. My birth at 42 was the easiest, she practically walked out on her own and was my second biggest baby.

If you are going to Planned Parenthood for the reasons you say that is fine. If you ahve some other thoughts in your mind (which is your own business) I think you need to stop and take a deep breath because I think this is panic for no good reason at all. Everyone has these moments of "oh no what have I done" even with babies that are planned, wanted, and coming into 2 parent homes. IN my experience PP is not the place to go when you are having fears and concerns about continuing a pregnancy. I would simply purchase a pregnancy test and take it and we are here to discuss any fears.

My first son was unplanned when I was 20 years old, and terrible timing and yes I was terrified but I soldiered on and it wasn't always easy (still isn't) but I have absolutely no regrets. Personally, I would have more regrets about never having a child than I would about being a single mom - but that is just me, I am not in your head and whatever you decide is a valid decision, but you need to make that decision clearheaded and with the best info at your disposal.

[atomic sagebrush]

I don't understand why did you decide to start the ht journey then as you said you always look ahead of situations..i dont mean to sound insensitive as your obviously very emotional right now maybe you should speak to a qualified person about your feelings xxx

Planned Parenthood is NOT a highly qualified place to go for guidance with this issue. THey do what they do and I think there are many others out there who can give you better advice including a mental health professional or clergy if you are religious. Have you ever had an anxiety disorder?? Sometimes with anxiety issues it is not really worrying about the issue itself, but more that your body itself is set onto "worry" and then your brain just spins till it settles onto something that it can sink its teeth into. There are some anti-anxiety meds that are ok in pregnancy and you may be able to get one to give yourself some clarity of mind before making any decisions.

[mommymachine]

You mentioned you had Hashimoto's Disease. If your thyroid is off, that could explain the palpitations and the anxiety attacks. I get both of those if I am off on my dose.