TTC and planning when you're older

[Birthfree]

I'm 40 and we have been ttc since September (currently taking 6w off, to try to address some blood work issues). I had an early loss two months ago.

At risk of sounding like a crazy person... I really don't want a mid-winter due date/baby but that's where the next few months are heading.

I'm wondering if anyone older has had a strong adverse reaction to things like that, and planned around it, or not. I realize just because I'm older my chances are lowered but really I would so so so so much rather have a spring or summer or even fall baby.

I've had to suck up a lot of things to be in this spot, and I realize it seems small but it affects work and leave and family... and it feels a tad like looking a gift horse in their mouth...

Has anyone felt like that? How did you adjust yourself, or did you follow your personal feelings and wait... or...?

[BoyBabyPuleez]

I'm not older (however I don't think your age is considered old &#128521 but I refuse to ttc when the due date would fall in the later part of the year. My reasoning is the holidays are already hectic enough without adding a birth and then later birthday planning, family visiting, shopping, flu season, etc... ugh it gives me a headache just thinking about it! Now there are plenty of perfect little ones born in those months and I'm sure their parents manage beautifully, I would just prefer not to do it. If I'm able to plan around it I most certainly will and I do. I like to use those months to give my body a break and my brain and psyche a rest from my craziness lol oh and shed those holiday pounds I faithfully put on every year 😄😁 those things make a difference to me and I'm an over analyzer so that maybe my vice..jury's still out on that one 😊 Either way you shouldn't feel bad you know what works best for you and your family

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[atomic sagebrush]

Yes, I did, a few different times. I really, really did not want a March baby (Aries LOL - I know some very difficult Aries people), but I was 36 and worried it would take me forever to get pregnant and went for it anyway and sure enough, ended up with a very fiery Aries who fulfills every stereotype to the millionth degree. I survived.

I also did not want another December baby, since I have one already, and it's too much with Christmas and stuff. I wanted it so much that I was willing to take the month off at 39 (even though I never recommend that) But fate intervened, I tried to take the month off but ended up getting pregnant anyway, another December baby and worse still born on Dec. 21st which I'd never have chosen in a zillion years. I still survived.

Then, for personal reasons I really, really did not ever want a Leo. I know some Leos and they are very difficult, and I know you can't generalize and all that, it was just my preference. But at the same time, my husband was not that much on board with the idea and so I couldn't be choosy if he was willing in any given month, and my personal cutoff date was Dec. 8 since that was my 41 1/2 birthday. Ended up going for it late November just because I couldn't stand to let that last month go without having an attempt, and sure enough, ended up getting a Leo. I STILL survived.

IT's one thing if it's something very important for your quality of life, like work-leave or insurance. It's another thing if it's just your preference. Trust me, you get used to it even when it doesn't go your way. For me, it only figures that literally everything I tried to pull off with birthdays, NONE of it ever worked. I didn't want an Aries or a Leo kid, got both. I didn't want "fire signs" - 4 of my 5 kids are fire signs. I wanted kids to have all their own birth months and not to be born close to Christmas - nope. Didn't want to be 9 months pregnant in July/August. Nope. Every single plan I made did not work out, but it is what it is and at least I have the kids that I do (IKYKWIM)

REmember, the older we get, the fewer good eggs we make. It very possible that we may be only making 4,3,2 or even 1 good egg per year. So when we start skipping months it may be that we skip the only good egg we'll make for the next 2 or 3 or 4 or 6 or even 12 months!! I just can't recommend it for anything less than something that will effect your quality of life in the long term.

[atomic sagebrush]

I'm not older (however I don't think your age is considered old ��) but I refuse to ttc when the due date would fall in the later part of the year. My reasoning is the holidays are already hectic enough without adding a birth and then later birthday planning, family visiting, shopping, flu season, etc... ugh it gives me a headache just thinking about it! Now there are plenty of perfect little ones born in those months and I'm sure their parents manage beautifully, I would just prefer not to do it. If I'm able to plan around it I most certainly will and I do. I like to use those months to give my body a break and my brain and psyche a rest from my craziness lol oh and shed those holiday pounds I faithfully put on every year ���� those things make a difference to me and I'm an over analyzer so that maybe my vice..jury's still out on that one �� Either way you shouldn't feel bad you know what works best for you and your family

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It's fine if you have the luxury of time on your side, but anyone over 38 and up, even over 36ish needs to take it kinda seriously.

[Birthfree]

Atomic... I was supposed to be taking 6w off, I was not charting (and just saying f it for a while). The lowered stress caused me to ovulate 3 days sooner than my norm, so our only dtd was 5 days before I think maybe I ovulated. ((It was two days before the first of 3 + opks and I just got a + hpt today (cycle day 23))).

Here's hoping this one is a sticky one.
This was *definitely* the one-attempt version (um, since we weren't attempting) and would be a small miracle.

The irony!
Crossing my fingers.

[kittendreams]

Congratulations birth free!
I will be 37 when ttc and if not pregnant by jan 2018 will skip feb-june 2018 because I do not want another summer( I'm in Australia) or Christmas baby I have two December boys already and while I love Sagittarians ( I have two) I really can't afford another holiday baby lol! I would love a March to july baby next time!

[kittendreams]

Congratulations birth free!
I will be 37 when ttc and if not pregnant by jan 2018 will skip feb-june 2018 because I do not want another summer( I'm in Australia) or Christmas baby I have two December boys already and while I love Sagittarians ( I have two) I really can't afford another holiday baby lol! I would love a March to july baby next time!

[Birthfree]

Thank you and good luck when you're ready. [emoji175] I always though March would be a lovely month too.

[kittendreams]

Birth free you are having your bub the exact same time I had my first! I ovulated on the 28th feb or 1st March and got a +hpt around the 10th of March! He was born December 3rd and is an absolute delight and so so handsome!

[atomic sagebrush]

Oh gosh huge congrats!!!! That's wonderful news!! and happy thoughts for a sticky bean!!!